Do you ever?

[dfwtxmissy 108]

Yeah well..they were having the BOGO sale and who are we to turn down a sale on shoes and denim...I must contribute...LOL...

[sdocforce 55]

This is a related comment. I'm wondering if you, like myself, feel like an imposter all the time?? I just journal'd this thought this morning. I feel sort of ... lost. I'm wearing size 14 and Med to large tops. (I'm bottom heavy-thighs or I could easily wear smaller pants) I saved my wedding dress and one pair of jeans for Before and after pics (and sentiment of course). I have no earthly conscious recollection of being any smaller in my whole adult life or being closer to an ideal/goal body weight. Highest = 256 (not counting pregnancy), Current =185, Goal=160. My point is that I'm getting anxious. I'm not sure who I am if I'm not the "fat one" anymore. Its like that is who I am and now that I'm average and could (maybe) even get smaller, I'm rather freaking out. I don't know if it is that I never thought I was so big and now that I am truly wearing sizes I never have and I have to face the fact that I was where I was or what? I went back to the pics I took the morning of surgery which is actually about 10 lbs less than highest. It was shocking! I don't believe I ever saw that in the mirror before. Not really saw it, I mean. I don't know if I have the courage to put it here as reference. I really was shocked at the transformation and yet it still feels unreal. Not like I'm not here, but that I was never there. Whew can you tell my head is really messed up. I'm confusing myself now. Anyway...I guess I'm in the middle of an identity crisis, not certain where I've been or where I'm heading. Maybe most crucial piece is...not sure I deserve to go there! Being the "big fat LOSER" has been my handle a LONG time. Yuk...thanks for listening to this babble. Glad I got it out! Any insight would be helpful...fragile feelings so please save overt criticism!