Telling the family?!?

[re14768 72]

Though I don't have anything to add to the things already being said here. I wanted to say thank you for the initial post and all of the replies regarding it. I am struggling in this same area, but it is a bit different. I am glad to have the support of my husband, but was battling with responses given by a couple of family members who I also chose to 'confide' in. The other difficult part is that I know I would have had the support of my parents if they were still here... (mom died 14 years ago, and dad died exactly 6 months ago) I didn't expect those other family members to be 'thrilled' with the idea, because when I last thought about proceeding with surgery, I heard a lot of negatives etc.... I guess I was hoping for a bit of a positive, supportive reply when I told them that I am doing this for health reasons (as I have many major health issues).... I began to feel 'alone' and almost second guess this... but I know deep down this is the right thing for me to do... even though it is a bit of a scary step.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and to share a bit.... *to those who may read this, thanks for listening..*

I can so relate , only hubby support me..my mom and sisters who encouraged me in the beginning. Don't even ask me for any updates. It's sad when they don't support you. They know how my weight effects my self esteem. .I would think they would be my biggest fan. I know they fear for my safey...but gee a little support would be nice. I can't even tell them I've been approved and surgery is 4/15..meanwhile, my 2 sisters are dieting and losing weight. .lucky them..they don't have thyroid issues like me..they can lose weight easily. .I'm 243lbs..and they think I can just lose it....just so pissed at them. I just keep everything to myself. .then they will make a huge deal when I tell them in a few days I have a surgery date. .

[re14768 72]

Angi,

Personally, I got into poor eating habits because I have always taken care of myself last. Everyone else's needs and feelings always came before my own. I also overheat in response to stress. When I made the decision to have WLS, I told no one...not even my husband. I am three weeks away from surgery and I finally told my husband two weeks ago. Withholding information about my surgery is a choice I have made so that I can stay focused on myself. My husband is supportive, as I knew he would be...but as for everyone else, I just can't give a rat's a** about them or how they feel about my choice.

Remember this decision is for you and your own health and happiness. Don't let anyone make you second guess what you feel deep down is the right decision for YOU. Make this journey with confidence!

So true. .it's our journey. I think we have been down so long about our weight. .it's time we do something. .I know it's a risk to have WLS. .but deep down I really feel in my heart , it's the right thing for me..just wish family was happy for me..As long as I have hubby support. .ads for my friends..no way in HELL I'm telling them..If u ever look up the word negative in dictionary. .u will see their pic..lol

[Angi~2014 52]

Though I don't have anything to add to the things already being said here. I wanted to say thank you for the initial post and all of the replies regarding it. I am struggling in this same area, but it is a bit different. I am glad to have the support of my husband, but was battling with responses given by a couple of family members who I also chose to 'confide' in. The other difficult part is that I know I would have had the support of my parents if they were still here... (mom died 14 years ago, and dad died exactly 6 months ago) I didn't expect those other family members to be 'thrilled' with the idea, because when I last thought about proceeding with surgery, I heard a lot of negatives etc.... I guess I was hoping for a bit of a positive, supportive reply when I told them that I am doing this for health reasons (as I have many major health issues).... I began to feel 'alone' and almost second guess this... but I know deep down this is the right thing for me to do... even though it is a bit of a scary step.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and to share a bit.... *to those who may read this, thanks for listening..*

I can so relate , only hubby support me..my mom and sisters who encouraged me in the beginning. Don't even ask me for any updates. It's sad when they don't support you. They know how my weight effects my self esteem. .I would think they would be my biggest fan. I know they fear for my safey...but gee a little support would be nice. I can't even tell them I've been approved and surgery is 4/15..meanwhile, my 2 sisters are dieting and losing weight. .lucky them..they don't have thyroid issues like me..they can lose weight easily. .I'm 243lbs..and they think I can just lose it....just so pissed at them. I just keep everything to myself. .then they will make a huge deal when I tell them in a few days I have a surgery date. .

I can truly understand what you are saying. I am very similar situation, even now I feel like the certain family members are giving me a cold shoulder... it truly is rough, especially when we battle our own concerns and fears as we move forward in this process. I look forward to hearing all the good things that will come out of this.... though I know it is not an easy road, it will be well worth it. =)

[Angi~2014 52]

I don't have one person that's happy about my decision to get VSG. I'm scheduled for revision from lapband to VSG in May. Nobody was supportive of my lapband surgery either. It's like they are all saying "I told you so" since I've had a difficult time with the band.

Hello. I am sorry about the late reply, I just now saw your post. I am sorry to hear the rough road it has been, and especially when it seems like no one is there for support, even if they don't agree with what you have chosen, I still battle with some family that is seeming to give me the 'cold shoulder' which truly hurts, but I am pressing on keeping in mind that this is for health reasons.... We can look forward to the day when the rough road wont be as rough and all the negative people will then realize.

Please feel free to keep in touch with me..

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Joining this and your surgeon's support groups will give you lots of support, encouragement and motivation. Angi, you and I have chatted. You both can do this, and do it for you. We have one life - make it count. Get healthy before you have more and more health problems. Everyone here is your friend and support system. Relax, you can do it!

[yolicious1 64]

I don't have one person that's happy about my decision to get VSG. I'm scheduled for revision from lapband to VSG in May. Nobody was supportive of my lapband surgery either. It's like they are all saying "I told you so" since I've had a difficult time with the band.

You should surround yourself with supportive people who will be there no matter how YOU choose to live your life, unless It's life threatening. Oh well, I guess you'll have to depend on us, your pals. We've got your back!

[jdillon 355]

You should surround yourself with supportive people who will be there no matter how YOU choose to live your life, unless It's life threatening. Oh well, I guess you'll have to depend on us, your pals. We've got your back!

Yes we do! I support you! I can't tell anyone either. My mom's freaking out about my need for gallbladder surgery, just imagine her response to vsg.