Having second thoughts...

[msnyman 1]

Hi, I am scheduled for surgery on 4/10 with a preoperative diet start on Monday, 3/31. My family is not very supportive and I am worried that this change will be too drastic. I have been doing my research and preop appointments since November. I have been overweight my whole life and with 2 kids I feel like this will give me a new and healthy beginning. I feel good about it, I just wish others in my family did. Anyone who is on the other side of the surgery have any words of wisdom?? I want to be a normal weight and feel healthy...on the same note, I don't want my life to be "too different". I don't want to have regrets.

[Seela 1,187]

It

[Seela 1,187]

It's so difficult to comment on someone else's journey but what I can tell you is that everyone is scared as they approach surgery. If you weren't I would question how serious you are. I have found that, after the first month or two, things don't have to be different for your family if you don't want them to be. Well, with the exception of the fact that you may not always need the house and car to be 68° and you you have more energy to play with the kids and you're snoring doesn't bother the neighbors any more, you know, stuff like that. I've said and heard it said a thousand time that the only regret is not having this surgery years ago... good luck!

[joatsaint 2,814]

I can only say that the surgery completely turned my life around. It was the best decision I've ever made. sleep apnea, gone, leg and feet pain gone, mentally I'm in a much better place. Even with all the pain I went through, I wouldn't hesitate to do it all again. I made my decision to have surgery after doing lots and lots of research. But I decided and committed to it before telling my friends and family. I wasn't expecting any support for my decision, so I had prepared for them to try and talk me out of it. But they were very supportive. I wish you luck on your decision.

[Recycled 2,182]

I don't want my life to be "too different". I don't want to have regrets.

Hmmmm........have you cake and eat it too....and total guarantees. Wouldn't that be nice.

You got obese cause you ate too much and didn't do enough exercise (if any) to keep your weigh in check. As far as life after the sleeve not being too different........you're gonna have to follow a strict limiting diet, do lots and lots of exercise and make these changes for life. Plus there are no guarantees or do overs in life as far as regrets go.

Now for the good. Yes, you will be more healthy, not to mention warding off future health problems from obesity. Certainly live longer. Do more physically. Have more self confidence. Be happier. Enjoy doing many more things with your kids. Have more opportunities and on and on............

But it still is a decision and along with your having second thoughts, you'll probably have thirds and forth's and fifth's etc.

And as decisions go, this one is a personal one of yours.....not your family's.

Wishing you the best with your surgery and path to a healthy life, with no regrets.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

This isn't about your family, this isn't about YOU.

After I made the decision to have surgery, there was no looking back. I reflected on all the times I'd lost and gained, all the stress yo- yo dieting was putting on my heart, the fact that I had no knee or back pain YET, but I was getting older despite myself and it was coming.

I decided to get healthy for ME, my kids and husband would just be along for the ride, reaping the benefits of having a healthier, happier mom and wife. Through my journey, I've gotten ME back. The real me. Not the one who is insecure about what I'm wearing, worried about who I might run into, needing to have hair and face does just right at all times so no one would notice how big I'd gotten.

Nope. No fears here as I approached surgery, I was far more afraid of the damage I was doing to myself staying obese. If thin and healthy is drastic and too different, serve me up a big platter of it! That's what I want for the rest of my life!

[msnyman 1]

Thanks, this is what I needed. What I've known all along through my research. I trust in my doctors and I can only get healthier. I appreciate the feedback.

[backwhereIbelong 16]

My husband was not supportive at first. I had to educate him on complications of obesity-- and the fact that I had been overweight so long, I didn't know what "fullness" was. I had tried on my own, changing my eating habits, but only for a season...The more he was educated, the more he realized this elective surgery was no longer a choice...

I would have had it without his support but he sure has encouraged me so far.

It's not about being "skinny" or " looking good". I'm in my 40s, those days are long gone. It's about health, and feeling good and keeping up with the kids and working full time.

I certainly hope this site can provide the encouragement if you can't obtain it by your family.

[sleevie.wonder 306]

This is for you and not anyone else. But if you feel this is not right for you for other reasons then you can always postpone or cancel. But I for one decided that this was my year to stop pleasing everyone else and to take care of myself for a change. No regrets at all since surgery and I am so excited to start my new life. Let the naysayers be naysayers. You can flaunt your new body at them later on and ask again why they thought it was a bad idea.

[JanetPRN 496]

I only found out my husband didn't want me to have surgery until after it was all done. When I asked him didn't speak up before , he replied that he did not want to be reason I did or did not do something for myself. He felt his priority was to support my decisions, whether he agreed or not. He's a keeper.

Your life will change. In a way , so will his. Change is good. Check your reasons why want this. Doubts are normal at this stage of your journey.it helps to verbalize to your family why you are having WLS , but first make sure you believe it.

Edited March 20, 2014 by JanetPRN

[Doug100 17]

I am 60 years old and only wished I had the support and the desire to do this years ago. I met with my surgeon for my six month visit yesterday and he is amazed at how I have progressed. My bride and most of my family did support me. My mom keeps saying you have lost enough weight now. My brother is jealous. He is 11 years younger and I wish he would push forward. Without my decision I would probably NOT have discovered my abdominal aortic aneurysm. 12.5 centimeters. Largest one that my surgeon had ever seen on a live patient. However your decision is all about you. Not me. Not your family. Good luck!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Hi, I am scheduled for surgery on 4/10 with a preoperative diet start on Monday, 3/31. My family is not very supportive and I am worried that this change will be too drastic. I have been doing my research and preop appointments since November. I have been overweight my whole life and with 2 kids I feel like this will give me a new and healthy beginning. I feel good about it, I just wish others in my family did. Anyone who is on the other side of the surgery have any words of wisdom?? I want to be a normal weight and feel healthy...on the same note, I don't want my life to be "too different". I don't want to have regrets.

You have one life. Do this for yourself and don't let others decide your life. We all know as we age that obesity causes major health problems. I am hoping my husband and I added a few more years to our lives with the sleeve surgery. We were "afraid" and waited 10 years until we felt they had practiced (my husband said) doing surgeries on others. 4 months post op, I only wish we had not waited so long until the health problems got so bad. However, we are good to go, ready to get on the Florida waterways with our boat after missing last year, and life is sweet! No matter what we will never look back with regret. This has been an awesome 4 months and life is sweet at 67.

[nikki303 2]

I'm scheduled for surgery June 4 and I'm scared to death. I know I have to do this surgery for my health but for the first time in a year of planning this I'm getting cold feet. Any advise.