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My sister...ugh!



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My older (half) sister made it a point to call me today. We are very close. She lives out of town. Her father recently passed away from cancer. So, I'm trying to be a bit understanding. But, she called to let me know that if I have this surgery that I am vain, selfish, & a bad mother because I will likely die! I am enraged, & absolutely speechless. I couldn't even respond to her. So, now I'm lying in bed in tears, wondering...am I?

This is why my husband said we are telling no one. I conceded with my daughter, age 49, a nurse friend, and a niece who had wls. We have never regretted this decision. I am sick and tired of people now discussing my weight loss, so imagine if they knew I had the sleeve. I am sorry, but I feel your support group has to be limited, and you can use us for all the support you need. I am so sorry, but this weight for us is life altering sometimes, so be strong, smile that we have this option, quit the tears. Life kicks us in the butt so much, like losing our loved ones, illness, diabetes, HBP, asthma, etc. My thought is you can tell her you are dieting (true) and not sure what your future plans are just yet. Be strong honey! Linda

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Thanks everyone for the responses! I've spoken with my sister since then & I explained to her that I understand her concerns, which are legitimate, but I'm doing this for me! I also reminded her that I didn't freak out when she had her gall bladder removed 9 years ago. I said she should view this surgery from the same perspective as that or our having C-sections with our daughters' births. The risks may be even smaller with wls.

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Ya know, ladies teach me stuff all the time. I was ready to pile up the ammunition to let the sister have it but the intuitive ladies saw the real deal. I re-read the post and I agree.

I agree! lol

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I'm not so nice. She needs to keep her nonsense to herself. Zero tolerance for toxic people.

I wish I could be like that with her at times. My sister has always intimidated me. She's still my sis & I love her. But, I did speak up for myself.

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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