Tips for Supporting Each Other in this Forum

[almosthome 91]

1. Read well. Posts don't come with body language, vocal inflection, or a life tour. If the OP didn't write it, don't assume it!

2. Ask lots of questions...carefully. Never reply with "I think/believe/am pretty sure you really want/mean/feel ___." Instead, simply ask if it is possible they really want/mean/feel something different. Give the OP time to reflect without feeling misjudged.

3. Empathize along the way. ＼(~o~)／ (>_<) (T_T)

5. Offer options, advice, and suggestions rather than "you should ____." Explain the costs and benefits to help the OP make an informed decision. If you are responding to a medical question or concern, emphasize professional resources and not your personal experience or hearsay.

6. Does your advice stem from values or opinions the OP doesn't share? If you don't know, find out. Respectfully explain any relevant differences when posting your advice.

7. Avoid over-generalization. There are relatively few things that can be said of all or no people. 'Some' is a safer word. When being more specific, try to use numbers (citing research) in place of words like most, few, many, often, etc. Likewise, 'you might be ____' (stating a possibility) is safer than 'you are ____' (stating your assessment as a fact).

8. If you feel offended by a reply, contact the author and/or moderators privately. Emotional debates and public offense over matters of opinion just detract from the larger conversation, causing stress, anxiety, hurt, and division. Do we want that for each other?

~~~ posted with love ~~~

[Christian Zaccone 243]

OOOPS>>> Sorry I didnt know there were rules to follow. Ill try

Chris

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Good advice.

The sticking point is, sadly, that you just can't legislate for people who want to have an argument!

Mohammad to the mountain/Horses to Water and all that good stuff....

[almosthome 91]

Heh. You mean people see through the word 'tips'? Darn. Need to be sneakier next time...