My mom won't stop telling people...

[jdillon 355]

I'm not so worried about who my mom tells but rather what she thinks and how it affects her. Before she retired one of the ladies at her work had gastric bypass. She got real sick and was unsuccessful with her weight loss. She actually gained weight. So now this is what she has in her mind when she hearts wls.

Today my mom tells me how she went to the Dr. And has been diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure and arthritis. My great grandma died of diabetes. I wanted to tell her about how in June I will be getting the sleeve surgery done . I wanted to share with her all the stories and people I've met who have been successful and who are not sick anymore because of surgery . But I felt her out a little and brought up a friend of mine from my job who had the sleeve a year ago and how he had health issues last year that have disappeared along with over 100lbs. She said that she completely disagrees with surgery and it's dangerous.

I couldn't tell her. Maybe after I've had surgery and shown how it works and that I am OK afterward she'll look at it differently. ?? I don't want her to be sick and I don't want to die from diabetes some day. But I don't want her to worry about me on top of her stress with her health.

[Dolfinldy1 69]

Yes. Definitely not a good time to share with your mother,,, Surprise her with your positive results and she will be so proud of you....im here if you need someone to talk to. You're a good daughter... Hang in there.

[jdillon 355]

Thank you. I just wish I could help my mom be better and healthier. I love her so much. Can't bear the thought of the day she is gone.

[Dolfinldy1 69]

Maybe you will be an inspiration to her to get healthier. My dad is 91 and he has diabetes, arthritis very bad, and has had 5 mini strokes, so I know your fears very well. It's scary to get news like that from a parent but she will be fine with her meds and her diet as well. Be strong for both of you. ????????

[newclear 7]

I didn't go through insurance, but self-paid and considering this would be a big cost for us, I told my husband. I also told my brother, but my mum's the last person I wanted to tell. She has high blood pressure and would worry and ask about changing her flight to visit me and so on. My husband told my mum. I was very upset at this to the point where I stopped communicating with people. When she asked me about the procedure, I said that I'm not interested in speaking about the procedure but we can gladly talk about something else. She pressed and I hung up.

Within hours, came the e-mails about how terrible her surgery was and she almost bled out (granted the sleeve and hysterectomy are far apart). I wanted to tell her in my own way, and I wasn't ready to talk about it and don't believe that anyone should demand answers from me for the things I've chosen to do with my body. Since then, I spoke to her about why I'm getting the procedure, reminding her of the pains of my weight history, including the emotional impact. It's a very intimate, emotional choice. I'm not that close to everyone, so everyone in my life won't hear the story. In your shoes, I would politely request that she stop discussing something that feels so private to you with everyone. As for the texts from people you did not personally tell, I'd thank them for any concern, but this is not information you would have told when you're ready and please respect that you are still not ready to discuss it with them. Good luck, and I'm sorry she did that. I understand how betrayed you may feel.

[LWren 7]

Thanks for all the feedback!

[lockkill 47]

I so hear you!! I have been at this for 6 mths thinking it was private!! And my husband is telling everyone !!! Ugh

[sleeved_kay 0]

I just started mine. My mom did the same... It's ok tho she's just happy that your going to change remember this isn't goin to be a life change for only you it's for everyone