May 2007 Banders

[stI24nger 1]

wow Manatee.... that's tough. To see all that praise for you on the Pics thread, and then read that you feel this way. Gosh, such a paradox--what do you think the answer is?

[sue11 0]

Manatee...

I'm with you on the dismorphia. I really think that alot of it, for me has to do with the fact that I had givin up. I always tried to tell myself that it just didn't matter what I look like, it's the person inside that matters. In a perfect world that would be true. Now I have goals and expectations that I am willing to acknowedge (to myself most of all), and I want to feel good about the outside too. I'm far more critical of my body now, even though I didn't want to admit that I did have alot of self hatred for fat me.

I alro have real trouble accepting that people treat me different (especially DH). It's a real paradox too, because I would be so upset if he didn't find me more attractive, but I'm angry at the same time that the physical even factors into people's perception of me. I've looked around a little for a therapist, I think it's time to actually persue it. I get alot of "therapy" by blogging like this and from support groups, but I think I need to get deaper into it.

[sue11 0]

Oh ya,

I just called my doc to schedule a slight unfil tomorrow. I was so happy for so long with my restriction, but I've had alot of trouble with PBing and reflux over the last couple months...weird 'cause I haven't had a fill since November. I almost feel like I'm using my band to slide into the "bulimic" category. I feel things backing up and figure, well I'm going to PB anyhow, might as well enjoy.

I did so much better when I could actually eat. Now it seems about all that goes down is the fats & sugars, my nutrition is suffering. I felt so much better when I wasn't so tight, and I'm not loosing anymore weight, I need to be able to eat good food in order to loose, and I'm tired of heartburn and reflux.

Sue

[stI24nger 1]

Part of the change in people's attitude toward you could be attributed to the fact that because of the change, you MUST feel better about yourself (that would probably be most peoples' immediate assumption), so they can project a different attitude toward you to mirror what you SURELY must be feeling about yourself.

I could totally be talking out of my A$$, but it really seems like it could be true...

[GREATFUL 24]

Oh ya,

I just called my doc to schedule a slight unfil tomorrow. I was so happy for so long with my restriction, but I've had alot of trouble with PBing and reflux over the last couple months...weird 'cause I haven't had a fill since November. I almost feel like I'm using my band to slide into the "bulimic" category. I feel things backing up and figure, well I'm going to PB anyhow, might as well enjoy.

I did so much better when I could actually eat. Now it seems about all that goes down is the fats & sugars, my nutrition is suffering. I felt so much better when I wasn't so tight, and I'm not loosing anymore weight, I need to be able to eat good food in order to loose, and I'm tired of heartburn and reflux.

Sue

Hey Sue,

Be vert careful with what you are going through. A band that is tight like that can cause a slip. I was going through also the same thing, my Doc. chewed me out, and unfilled me, I stayed that way for over a month. I gained 3 lbs and the he filled me again but not as much. I feel much better now, able to eat better and have lost five lbs.

Laura

[sue11 0]

Well, I had my partial unfill yesterday (from 3.3 to 2.8) and instantly felt relief. I was "sliming" on sips of Water when I went in and swigging down a water bottle on my way out. I'm a little scared because I don't feel any restriction at this point, though I've kept to softs for now, so we'll see. I hope it's not too loose, because I've got 6 weeks before I can get filled again.

The doc insisted on a scope, to make sure my band hasn't slipped. It's been 7 months since my fill, so there's no real explanation why I got so tight all the sudden.

Anybody remember the symptoms of slippage...I need to look it up. Manatee...was that the problem you had?

Sue

[lizrbit 0]

sue, i can SO relate to the dysmorphia. I go through that too, as well as the feelings of ?? and anger regarding attractiveness and husband issues. I cant even go into how absolutely lonely the last several years have been and the struggles there, but i bet there are a LOT of us that can relate to it directly too. Im seeing a therapist, and taking things slowly in terms of my internal dialog about the subject...but yes there is resentment. I try to keep thinking that at least i HAVE this second chance at living, and to have it on my own terms (thank you so much lapband and my incredibly talented surgeon) . If HE (husband) wants to become more attractive and put in some effort then hey, im all eyes. That attractive thing runs two ways and WE are worth the effort too.

[sue11 0]

The "anger thing is a real issue, and I'm sure many of us deal with it. People do treat me differently, doesn't matter if it's my DH or others, it can be a real issue. The fact that I am treated better now in many ways makes it worse. It "proves" that these people were judging me for my outward apprearance, not for what's inside.

I do realize that my view of myself has a real effect on how other's view me. I know I act differently, how could I not, when the weight made me want to crawl in a hole and hid. I'm much more confident in how I present myself, and that's a good thing. But I do need to find someone to help me deal with resentments from the past.

It's certainly not as easy as just slipping a band around the tummy!

Sue

[Melissa S 1]

Hi all..

Its been a very long time since I've been on...

The past few weeks have been very stressful. DH has been in the VA hospital an hour away for the past 5 weeks...and will prob. be there for another 5 weeks. He is making progress... its slow going... but he is doing better.

As for me... emotionally I've been up and down. Lots of stress..and out of the blue it caught up with my band today. PB'ing on very runny mashed potatoes! Ugh.. And honestly, I'm not even sure where I am as far as weight loss goes.. I havent weighed in over a month. I did however finally find new jeans... size 16 "seven" jeans... which are now too big also :-)

[Macysgranny 1]

So sorry to hear about your husband. I haven't been on in ages either. Can I ask what he is being treated for?

[Melissa S 1]

He is being treated for PTSD. He spent 14 months in Iraq.

[Melissa S 1]

I think I will be making a call to the Dr tomorrow.. I cant get anything down! My last fill was in May! You would think that I'd be way loose by now.. but nope.. somehow, all of a sudden I'm tighter than I've ever been! I havent been able to get anything down all day.

[Mischievous1 6]

I think I will be making a call to the Dr tomorrow.. I cant get anything down! My last fill was in May! You would think that I'd be way loose by now.. but nope.. somehow, all of a sudden I'm tighter than I've ever been! I havent been able to get anything down all day.

Melissa, it's the STRESS (causing the tightness-it happens to me too), please take care of YOU during this very stressful time as it's easy to focus on our loved ones and let our own health decline!

Lotsa love,

Renee

[4RE4ME 1]

This sudden tightness of the band seems to be a common thing after a year or so. Within 6 months of WLS I was filled with 10cc in a 10cc band and finally felt restriction. After about 6 months later I al of a sudden could not tolatate anything. Even Water was a challange. Had 2cc taken out and can live again. That was about 3 months ago, Go back for a slight refill tomorrow. I have been able to maintain weight thru exercise but no loss since unfil. What a balancing act this thing is.

[realmccoy 0]

That's weird........I've been really tight for the past three days. Haven't had a fill in months, not stressed and not that time of the month. I'm hoping it relaxes on it's own- but maybe it's what you are talking about "the common thing around a year"?