May 2007 Banders

[tumonbug 0]

I made the decision to not tell anyone except my husband and kids about my surgery. Well I went out to dinner with a coworker/friend the other night. We have always talked about weight since we were both very thin at one time and needless to say now we are both heavy. Well during dinner she started to tell me that she looked into the band but she could not do it. Insurance would only pay if she had other issues which she doesn't and she did not want to spend the money for self pay. Etc etc....

The long and short of it is.....I sat there and lied to my friends face and I could not hate myself more!!!! I did not know what to do, I know that if I owned up to it, not only would she be upset that I did not tell her, but the news would get out. I also know that it made her feel bad that I ate very healthy and she did not, She kept saying "your being so good and I am not" and believe me I know how that feels having been on the other side many many times.

:lie:

So I just needed to tell someone how horrible I feel! Thanks for listening!

Dont feel bad about your decision, i have a very large family, friend, and co worker circle, but i only had the support of my hubby, two daughters and mom, because i didnt want anyone else to know, my own dad thought i was having gall bladder surgery, thats what everyone thought, i thought i was smooth sailing, in and out of hospital and i would go back to work after a two weeks vacation and no one would know anything, except i was starting a new diet, well, so much for my plan, i got infection at my main port site, bad, and after two weeks off and still going to have to wait another two weeks, finally, i decided to tell all, the infection was due to a four inch disolvable stitch inside me that my body rejected as a foreign object and it didnt surface till the 4th week and i was lucky, my incision was healing from inside out and it pushed it to surface and the doctor finally found it, at first, we just thought i had an simple infection and due to me being diabetic, i was healing very slow, but thank God we got it out and i am recovering now, but , after telling my friends and co workers, i was so relieved, and i couldnt believe the amount of support that i got from everyone, and i think that i should of known all along that everyone would of supported me, but when you are over weight for so long, we tend to forget about support from others, cause i know from my own experience, my support was always from food, so for me, i am glad for my short term struggle with infection, because it made me open up to everyone and now they are there to help me, sorry to ramble on for so long, but just wanted to let you know, you are not alone with your feelings and i think you will find that your friends are gonna understand, take care and God Bless us all, debbie

[Twinfish 0]

I am starting my 2nd month of being banded. I have lost 25 lbs. I just want to state that we can all LOSE weight is the keeping off that's hard!!! The band has motivated me to excercise consistently. I have been to the gym 4xs a week for the last 2 weeks. All my clothes are starting to get big

My goal is to lose 100 lbs. I hope to achieve this within my first anniversary. I have scheduled my first fill at the end of July. I will be heading back to Mexico to do it with Dr. Rodriguez of Monterrey.

Wendy

Banded 5/26

237/212/137

[METALBAND 0]

I am so glad your nightmare is over!!! So sorry you had to go through that ordeal. I bet it feels great to have that support and a sense of relief that you now do not have the big secret! Thanks for sharing.

[sue11 0]

I was "outed" acciedentally, but after really struggling with who to tell and how to tell them, it was almost a relief that I didn't have to make the decision. It is frustrating to have the "food police" watching...some people will always be that way, but I know people were staring & judging when I was overweight. Oh well, I put myself where I'm at so I'll have to deal with it. It is really great to have people around to support. I need to be able to share with the people around me, it was just hard to figure out where to start.

[Wenjea 1]

I too started with the idea of keeping this on the QT but it was so hard trying to remember what I had said and who I had told that I finally just told everyone who noticed and said i looked like I had lost a lot of weight. it gave me the opportunity to share about the band and explain how hard I had to work to make it happen.

I have gotten a lot of support from people who are believers in being healthy and just sort of ignored from those who don't want to deal with their problem eating yet. I'm glad I did it and I like the accountability. Go for it!

[cindyluhu 0]

Wenjea,

I like your attitude about your openness and honesty of telling people. I have told more than I thought I would, but have kind of sidestepped the truth most of the time. I think I still have that "lack of confidence" in myself that just won't let me tell for fear of being, Oh I don't know, frowned upon or getting disapproval. I really should not care what people think, I am getting better about it. I'm so happy for you.

Cindy

[violeteyes37 0]

The only person at work that I have told is my supervisor and I only told her because I wanted to make sure that if I had any complications and couldnt return to work when planned she would already know the situation before hand. Also I was put on STD so she was going to find out anyway. Most people in my immediate family know though I wish now that I hadnt told some of them. I feel now like Im under a microscope and they are watching to see what I eat and keeping track of how much I lose and sadly would like to see me fail at this. They have so much drama in their life that they only feel better when they can find something about someone else to talk about.

[Wenjea 1]

I think the point is that most of the people in your life were probably talking about you anyway. You know, "she is such a pretty girl but she has gained so much weight lately', etc. I'm sure we have heard it all. We probably have been guilty ourselves of being judgemental about people bigger then ourselves. I know I find myself wanting to run up and tell complete strangers about how the band can help them.

My point is that people are going to talk anyway so why not give them something positive to talk about. It might start out as doubt and concern but as you are successful then they might be inspird by it and look into it themselves. I have people ask me all the time if I can eat that. I think they are curious and really want to know for themselves the process or maybe they are thinking of someone else in their life that might benefit from this surgery. I have to think of myself as an educater about the lap band. My family is learning right a long with me and that is okay.

I think we are used to feeling judged by our weight and have built up some defenses and now that people are being more positve and encouraging we don't always trust it. We need people in our life who are our cheerleaders. The more people who know the more cheerleaders you will find to replace the naysayers. Think of all the people you could help by being open about your surgery. We have been kidding ourselves about our weight for a long time but had to face the truth in order to take the step of surgery. Why are we willing to hide back in that secret world again?

[Melissa S 1]

I went for my fill this afternoon... I was SO nervous... I got myself all worked up for NOTHING! Just one small pinch then everything was numb... I did find out I have a 10cm band (4cc's)... Dr filled it with 1cc.... now I'm back to liquids for 2 days.. purred for 1 then back to solids.

Time for this band to get to work!!!

.... and time for me to get back to the gym.... that scale isn't gonna move on its own!!!

[twinmommy 0]

Amen, Wenjea! I told most of our friends and all of our family. I love that I have my cheerleaders. I love that I am accountable to people. I love that I don't have to worry about not being able to eat much in front of them and explain. I love that I will turn 30 tomorrow, and I am in better shape than when I was 25! At my 29th, I promised my thin girlfriends that I would be in better shape on my 30th. I still have the picture from that night and I never want to look that way again.

The scale started moving again! I have now lost 30lbs since May 2nd (pre-op) diet began. I have been to the gym 3 times this week so far and plan to go tomorrow. I do 30 treadmill, 10 min. eliptical, 30 min lifting weights. I feel great. I have had to make myself go a few days, but once I do I am always glad I did.

You all are great and I look forward toreading everyones posts. You all are my band family!

[twinmommy 0]

Can someone tell me what your meals are like after your first fill?

[Wenjea 1]

twinmommy - mine are different all the time and i find that my band can tolerate something one day and not the next, sometimes it seems to shrink between meals. for example, for lunch on Thursday I had a salad on pizza with chunks of chicken and artichoke hears, etc. I ate it slowly, chewed well and it went down without any trouble, one goodsized piece. A few hours later I was snacking on fresh rasberries and everything stuck and I almost PB'd. Today my sister brought over some fresh rasberrie pie and I cut this really small sliver and after three bites the whole thing came right back up. It felt awful for about 20 minutes until it was all out. i'm not sure why the rasberries were sticking cuz I've had them for the last few days and did fine. I'm only getting 60 gr of Protein in a day through shakes and I have a hard time with the Vitamins too but every day I get up and say this is the day I do everything by the book. . . . . . .right!

[twinmommy 0]

Thanks Wenjea! I am trying to get over my old way of thinking. I use to say "well I blew it for lunch, I guess I'll eat whatever now. Since I already messed up." Now I am trying to realize that everything is a choice, and every choice adds up. Very hard to reprogram the mind. I have to admit it is a lot easier though when the scale moves.

[4RE4ME 1]

I told my close friends, family of course, and co-workers. My plan was to tell no one but once I had the surgery I thought why add more stress to my life. I just turned 50 and the one thing that all my friends the same age can agree on is as we get older we really don't care what people think of us. At my age its time to be the man I am, not the man I want to be someday.

My advice, for what its worth is to tell your circle of friends. They sure are going to notice eventually and will most likely find out anyway.

[NimbleBean 2]

This morning I had a small NSV! I got out of the shower and used a regular, standard size bath towel to wrap around myself. There was enough cloth to overlap it in the front! Nothing was gaping (if you know what I mean!) LOL! I guess now I will have to use the beach towels I had been using after showering for... oh I don't know, maybe the beach!!!

I had another NSV last night. I went to Lane Bryant to look for a couple of tops. Well, I thought I would try an 18/20 to see if I could get into it. Surprise surprise, too big!! Had to get a 14/16! Amazing to me that back in August, before I started my 6 month, med.-supervised diet and before my May banding, I was wearing a 26/28 top at LB. And sometimes it was tight in the hips! In any case, I had a little weepy moment in the dressing room. I can't believe how proud I am of myself, and of all of us!

:whoo:

Margaret