elfnow 277 Posted March 18, 2014 You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy. Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology? Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support! This is a forum in cyber space. There is nothing more the original poster can do but apologize. NO! We can do a LOT more! PEOPLE CAN THINK BEFORE THEY SAY THINGS! ISN'T THAT THE EXACT MESSAGE WE'RE TEACHING OUR KIDS WITH ANTI-BULLYING? SAME THING! ADULTHOOD DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT OR CORRECT! Seela, hon, could you hop in your time machine and go back a couple days and not say that thing you said? Oh wait. SlowlybutSurely... I get that this really hurt your feelings personally... And I understand - you don't even know how deeply I understand - that people should not say or do things without fully comprehending all the possible outcomes... But Seela can't take back what she said. She can only apologize, and try to do better in the future. You can choose to ignore her comments in the future, and I'm sure she'd understand, But what you're asking for right here, in all-caps, is impossible. She's already said what she said. There's no taking that back. It's there. The question becomes "how do we move forward?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vogue 310 Posted March 18, 2014 Does anyone mind if I steal the dead horse's tail? My WLS-related Hair loss hadn't fully recuperated and the horse's color matches mine perfectly 3 Healthier2day1227, elfnow and Sarahjane79 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elfnow 277 Posted March 18, 2014 Does anyone mind if I steal the dead horse's tail? My WLS-related Hair loss hadn't fully recuperated and the horse's color matches mine perfectly I LOL'd. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanbat 5,889 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy. Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology? Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support! This is a forum in cyber space. There is nothing more the original poster can do but apologize.NO! We can do a LOT more! PEOPLE CAN THINK BEFORE THEY SAY THINGS! ISN'T THAT THE EXACT MESSAGE WE'RE TEACHING OUR KIDS WITH ANTI-BULLYING? SAME THING! ADULTHOOD DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT OR CORRECT!(Whoops, I didn't think my post through. Removed by the anti-sarcastic side of me). Edited March 18, 2014 by gmanbat 3 Sarahjane79, LipstickLady and elfnow reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madam Reverie 2,958 Posted March 18, 2014 What. In. The. World. No, really. As I'm sick and feeling rather putrid, I shall say but this. Please, everyone, read the definition of the word 'Fear' in a dictionary. Understand what it is. Recognise how it can present itself. Have compassion - on both sides of the fence. I shall now return to my duvet, electric blanket and warmed cup of milk. And before anyone asks; no, there's no bleedin' Protein powder in it 3 Dragonsmate, elfnow and SnohoGal98296 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SnohoGal98296 371 Posted March 18, 2014 Madame Reverie, Lllluuurrrvvv your attitude! Bleedin' LMAO! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted March 19, 2014 What. In. The. World. No, really. As I'm sick and feeling rather putrid, I shall say but this. Please, everyone, read the definition of the word 'Fear' in a dictionary. Understand what it is. Recognise how it can present itself. Have compassion - on both sides of the fence. I shall now return to my duvet, electric blanket and warmed cup of milk. And before anyone asks; no, there's no bleedin' Protein powder in it But is there a shot of whiskey in it? That's all that really matters. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madam Reverie 2,958 Posted March 19, 2014 Cant, chick. I'm on whacking amounts of antibiotics. Boo! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted March 19, 2014 Whisky kills stuff. 1 elfnow reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madam Reverie 2,958 Posted March 19, 2014 Well, it might certainly kill the efficacy of the tablets.. Either that, or it'll kill my stomach and leave me talking down the big white telephone to God! Shame, as a hot whiskey would go down a treat right now! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seela 1,187 Posted March 19, 2014 I've kept quiet but there's something I feel the need to say. First, I come here for support and perspective. I'm not always in a sunshine-y mood when I need this support. I thought this would be a good place to get the perspective I was after and the honest and serious comments from (almost) everybody truly helped me wrap my head around an experience that threw me for a loop. It helped me see things differently, which was exactly what I needed and what I asked for. However. .. to those of you that are SO angry and ready to beat me with a stick all I can say is I'm sorry for you - that you can't see things from someone else's view and have some understanding, even days later. My op truly wasn't meant to hurt anybody, I was hurting from my personal journey and experience and as others have done, they have given their point of view without the nastiness. I sincerely pray that you find enough peace within yourself to get over your grudge for somebody that posted something in an online support forum. I hope that you never inadvertently say something that offends someone else and they act the way you do. I'm not sorry for my post. I do regret some of the words I used and I regret that they hurt people on here in any way. But support isn't always pretty. Sometimes what we need isn't politically correct or polite. Sometimes it hurts. But hurting back is NOT what I teach my children. That's all. Have a nice day 10 vogue, elfnow, jujube and 7 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alajane 17 Posted March 24, 2014 Anyway, I spoke with the Cordinator afterwards and she confirmed that the odds worked that way from what she saw; people who kept coming back to the support group seem to be doing very well in general, and sticking with their program. She did not say much about the people who don't come, exempt by omission, and it left me wondering how easily accessible these support groups are to everyone. Hope so! I think you're right about the support group being very helpful. My surgeon is a 3-hour (one way) drive for me and the support group meetings are in the afternoon. There's no way I can take off from work a day every month to go to a support group meeting--particularly after all the full days I took off last year for every pre-op and post-op appointment! I haven't found any support groups any closer and I do think it would be very helpful. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Photo925 100 Posted March 24, 2014 Just a thought (slightly off topic, but it popped on my head as I was reading this) Do you think that maybe the difference between those that are very successful and those who arent as successful as quickly is research and commitment. It just occurred to me that you don't see too many people on these forums stating that they are losing weight (with the exception of the stalling that everyone experiences). Im in a class right now that is necessary for insurance, but I really feel like I learn more in my own research. We have one of those teachers that is against the surgery and so she tries to push people into natural weight loss techniques as opposed to teaching us what we will need to do after surgery. I worry about some of the people in my class who never check out the forums or do any research because the class is the only learning outlet they have. There were several people in class last week that were legitimately shocked to hear that they couldn't have bacon right after surgery...we have been in class for 19 weeks now!!!! Anyway...I think I began a rant somehow!! Thank you if you are still reading!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted March 24, 2014 Just a thought (slightly off topic, but it popped on my head as I was reading this) Do you think that maybe the difference between those that are very successful and those who arent as successful as quickly is research and commitment. It just occurred to me that you don't see too many people on these forums stating that they are losing weight (with the exception of the stalling that everyone experiences). Im in a class right now that is necessary for insurance, but I really feel like I learn more in my own research. We have one of those teachers that is against the surgery and so she tries to push people into natural weight loss techniques as opposed to teaching us what we will need to do after surgery. I worry about some of the people in my class who never check out the forums or do any research because the class is the only learning outlet they have. There were several people in class last week that were legitimately shocked to hear that they couldn't have bacon right after surgery...we have been in class for 19 weeks now!!!! Anyway...I think I began a rant somehow!! Thank you if you are still reading!! I think you are right in some areas. Research and knowledge is so important. But I also think that dedication to improving your health is the most important.. not 100% because that would mean we were perfect..And we know none of us are. I was one of those that thought I had it all sewed up. I knew what I was getting into and researched it for 2 years. After the surgery I realized I knew nothing at all. Sure I watched a few videos on how the procedure was done. Followed experiences on You Tube. Spent some time on here reading others experiences. Here is information you need to continue and succeed. Fight your way, day to day. Learn to fix your brain by reading how others did it or are doing it. Fight your fears by seeing how others have handled it. And realizing that it is a life time war that you win one fight at a time. I could broad cast my own loss every day on here but that is not the real deal. I lost my weight differently then most people on this forum and lived to tell about it. I never ever thought about stalls, weight gain or loss. I have gone by what I felt like and clothes sizes. We don't have a support group here either and it ticks me off so much because hundreds of people in my area have had WLS and it is like the biggest secret in history. Go where you learn the most and be as prepared as you can. My experience was that I would never have been ready if I looked into that completely..And never could I have looked into it completely anyway..I think you and I need to use every venue available to us. And start making a dent in the spots where there is no support or help for us. There is so much more then losing the pounds. There are the emotional, mental, physical and constant self doubt and not to mention how others treated us and now treat us differently. It is such a merry-go-round it makes my head spin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elfnow 277 Posted March 24, 2014 Just a thought (slightly off topic, but it popped on my head as I was reading this) Do you think that maybe the difference between those that are very successful and those who arent as successful as quickly is research and commitment. It just occurred to me that you don't see too many people on these forums stating that they are losing weight (with the exception of the stalling that everyone experiences). Well except all the people who post they lose weight and are in smaller sizes, posting excitedly about things they can do now they couldn't before... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites