What do I say?

[shrinkingwillow 7]

Let me start by saying that I'm a very private person. I have only told my husband, mom, and kids about my surgery. My sleeve date is on March 21st. For the last 6-8 months my mother in-law has been planning a big family vacation, which scheduled the week of surgery in Orlando. I don't plan on going because I don't want to use my time up at work. I may need to be out more than normal after surgery. Well everyone is excited and is asking me "are you ready to go" I tell them no, but I don't elaborate.

What should u tell them? My husband and kids know. They are going to go, but my husband is leaving early to be with me for the surgery.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Get your husband to tell his mom. I'd do it for my wife.

But I am not that much of a private person. I am more like "this is my life, my business, understand or buzz off". Family, friends, no difference.

Edited March 13, 2014 by gmanbat

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I am a very private person as well, so I understand your reluctance. But I echo gman's advice to have your husband tell his mom. I think that's the easiest way, plus if you keep things open within your family, your husband is not put in the position of having to conceal things from his mother or even possibly tell her or his other family members untruthful things.

If your mother in law (or other family members) end up wanting to give you unsolicited advice, tell you horror stories, or say rude things about your weight and how you choose to treat it, either ignore them or make some firm-but-final comments such as, "I really appreciate your concern, but my doctors and I have decided that this is the best course of action to treat a medical problem. I would love to have your support but at this point I'm not looking for anything else."

[hrhlaurie 185]

I decided to tell my family and close friends and my boss, who is also a friend, at work because this is a major lifestyle change and I want their support. I understand that some may not be encouraging but if they have concerns it's because they don't understand so it's my job to educate them about the surgery and health benefits. Tell your MIL and let her know you are doing something to help you be healthier and live longer and be a happier and healthier wife and mom. She may wish she could have worked with you on dates so you could enjoy the family time also.

[shrinkingwillow 7]

Thanks for your advice. I decided to tell my mother and sister in-law. It has been a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I know that they would be hurt if I didn't let them know I was having surgery.