Who do you tell? Read this first!

[Bluesea71 698]

Let me share a personal story with you that may have you second guessing if you really need to tell everyone you had weight loss surgery. Back in 2004, a woman who is a friend /mom in my son's playgroup lost a lot of weight. She claimed she was doing Weight Watchers and lost over 100 pounds in a really short amount of time. Now of course I couldn't really tell you the exact time frame of her weight loss, because I was too busy leading my own life and attending to my own family and career to pay attention. This friend has successfully kept over 100 pounds off (sometimes going up/down 15 pounds) over the last 10 years. I have found myself jealous on occasion. How has she been successful when statistically speaking, most people regain their weight over time? Never once did I even consider she had WLS. It wasn't on my radar because WLS wasn't a part of my world.......yet.

Flash forward almost 10 years later. A few months ago I met this friend and a few other moms for a mom's night out. A few days before this, I had attended a WLS orientation at my hospital. Fresh on my mind were the eating habits I would have to implement after WLS - eat Protein first, chew slowley, don't drink while eating, etc. I watched my friend eat her dinner. She ate her chicken breast first and left most of it on her plate. She ate some veggies second and avoided the rice. She didn't take a sip of her drink. Not even once. Could this friend in fact had WLS back in 2004 and chose to only tell a select few? Maybe. I could ask her, but at this point I've decided not to. If she chose not to tell people, I'm going to respect her decision. Not once in the 10 years did it register on my radar that she may have had WLS. Not. Even. Once.

Here's the point I'm trying to make Weight loss surgery and the process is kind of like buying a new car. Once you buy one, you suddenly become more aware of every car on the road that looks like yours. People tend to be egocentric and aren't as focused on what we are doing as we may think.

I am so much more than a woman about to have weight loss surgery. I am a mother. I am a wife. I have built a successful career. I have many hobbies that I enjoy. I am a private person, in general. I don't want my weight loss journey monitored by everyone in all of my social circles. For me, I'm telling close family and that's it. These are the people who live with me day to day and who I really need support from. Who knows, maybe with time (and proven success) I may choose differently. For now, that is a decision that I'm comfortable with. If someone asks about my weight loss and asks how I did it, I plan to answer with a very simple, "I made some lifestyle changes and the weight is falling off" or "With a lot of hard work!"

That's the truth, right?

Trust your intuition and make a decision that's right for you.

Edited March 11, 2014 by Bluesea71

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

I understand what you are saying. I only told one person, that's it. I didn't want to deal with the questions or the "food police". I am 100% secure with my decision. I would never changes thing. Good luck with your upcoming sleeve surgery.

[nona1414 19]

My husband and my parents so far are the only people who know! I have surgery planned on the 29th. I plan on telling nobody.. I don't have many friends as it is so it won't be a problem for me... If people see me afterwards and ask I will tell them it's diet and exercise ( which is the truth) they don't need to know the details... It's non of anybody's business! Good luck to you!

[inittothinit 145]

I had every intention of telling no one but my wife. I was able to keep it like that until about a week after surgery. it was her birthday and we had some close family over. I found that even though it was my intent to keep private, it put my wife in the position to have to "sell" my lie or deception. I decided that it was not fair to ask her to have to do that for people who are so close to us. I also told 2 couples that we are extremely close to. I will continue to not share my experience with casual friends and colleagues and I also think my wife can adhere to that position as it relates to casual friends and extended family......I am at peace with how I am handling it now

[reaching high 19]

I'm glad ya'll feel the same as I do about this. I have been apprehensive about telling people. Right now, a good friend, my husband and my son are the only ones that know. I don't have a date yet, but I should not feel obligated to tell anyone. This is for me and not for anyone else to judge!????

[She's_Sleeved 93]

I have my first visit with my surgeon next week. I am keeping my upcoming WLS pretty much under wraps. I only told a few people who are positive and supportive and can keep a secret. My fiancé, Mom, sister, and best friend. I am not going to post about it on Face Book I don't want to give the playground gossip crew anything new to talk about( We all have nosey FB friends). WLS is not an easy way out it is a tool and maybe after I get to my goal weight I will shout it out from the roof tops!

[BellaHugz 331]

BlueSea, Isnt it amazing when your on the path to WLS that you notice the small things in life. Especailly how others eat their food. I agree with your decision to continue to be private about your upcoming surgery. And even with the knowledge of your friends possible WLS you had the respect to allow her to continue her journey for a healthier life style. No matter what that is something you should be proud of!

When I started WLS journey I knew it is something I feel I want to guard with all my heart. Not because I feel I am weak as a person because all of us have face the unsettling judgement of others during weight gain moments of our life. I just want to protect myself and my journey and not be derailed by others comments. I am doing this for me and my family to have a long and healthy life.

I lost my father to obesity plan and simple he was very young. So for me I have been on this journey to get healthy and happy with the wonderful tool of VSG also I didnt want my daughter to go through the same pain in her young life. And I have a little cheerleader on my side!! So Happy I did this!!

Wishing you the very best!

Edited March 11, 2014 by BellaHugz

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

I agree with all of you. This is a personal journey and one on which we do not want to be judged. I told only my husband, daughter and best friend. I did not tell my parents or any of my siblings so I certainly wasn't going to share it with anyone else. I'm happy with my decision. I have also noticed how other people eat and a lot of naturally thin people eat slowly and choose their Protein and veggies before starches. Why didn't I notice that before. I know when I'm with other people eating lunch they do pay attention to what and how I'm eating. I sometimes put my glass of Water to my lips like Im taking a sip but I don't actually drink it. I'm not ashamed of WLS but I just am not comfortable sharing this process with others. It's just a very difficult place to be... I'm just a month out and I don't see it getting easier.