Recycled 2,182 Posted March 10, 2014 I think there is more worry and doubt in our minds during the qualifying waiting stage than the actual surgery. Are we gonna be approved? Are we gonna prove we can lose weight before surgery? Are we gonna gain weight? I don't care if I get approved? I've always failed at losing and this is no different. What if I don't change after surgery. I enjoy the food too much and don't want to give it up. I'm fooling myself ! ! I couldn't get my mind into the process and it just didn't seem real to me. I continued to eat as I always had. I even gained a few pounds and made excuses as to why when I went to the monthly PCP appointments. I felt guilty constantly thinking I should be trying to get used to the eating habits or I'd be in big trouble later. But at the same time it felt like I was being asked to kill my best friend and I wanted to cherish whatever time was left. So I ate. Not just normally. I went out of my way to re-visit my favorites to get in a farewell, so to speak. And while savoring those delectable dishes, my mind was reinforcing the thought I would never get used to "rabbit" food. During those moments I reveled in the pleasure of food and the thought of some undesirable WLS was the last thing on my mind. The months passed. I continued going to appointments to keep up appearances of my big deception. And as delays set in and additional tests were required, it just made it more likely that probably nothing was gonna change. I wasn't sure if I cared or not. Either way, why bother to try to adjust to some unnecessary weight loss requirement if the surgery wasn't gonna happen anyway. Hmmm, did I really think that or was I trying to subconsciously sabotage the process. Who knows. Out of the blue, the "call". Your approved......now pick a surgery date! After hanging up the phone, nervous anticipation sets in. It's real and the surgery doesn't even make me flinch. The life style change afterwards does. Can I really do this? I should have been getting used to this for the last 8 months. Damn, this is gonna be 10 times harder now. Two weeks. Are you kidding me. Pre-op diet tomorrow? Cold turkey? This is just too soon. Breathe..........think about the skinny you. Think about not dying from a heart attack. Whatever, just get on board, cause your life changes in two weeks. OK, panic is over. I've been on the pre-op for two weeks and it wasn't so bad. I really can do this. Surgery is tomorrow and I'm anxious to feel the pounds coming off and see me changing. Wow, that was fast. Surgery is over. Not as bad as I was prepared for. The post-op stages seem game-like. Drink this now. Walk. Now you can eat blended stuff. Not bad. Learn about nutrition. Choose the good stuff for the tiny stomach. Easy pesy. And I'm losing. I am doing it and really losing. Alot. It is gonna work and it appears I can adjust. And most importantly, life moves on and I adapt and change. Who would've believed it ? The food choices are fine. The nutrition requirements are fine. I'm satisfied and I don't feel I'm missing any foods from my pre-op life. My mind is set on the future and my goals and whatever doubts I had pre-op are distant memories of a past life. Message: Don't sweat the waiting period! 11 BabySheldon, ladybug's journey, ElyQuint and 8 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen W 8 Posted March 10, 2014 Hi Recycled, Thanks for a great post. I was fortunate to have a quite doable pre-op diet, so not a big problem. And I don't have the "my best friend" relationship with food (except garlic, perhaps, but no reason to end that), so that made it easier. Clear liquids day before and few days after....too numb and swollen to care. Now I am starting week 2 of post-op full liquids. NOW I want real food. I swear to God, I almost put a dog cookie in my mouth, I so bad wanted something to crunch on. That's what I miss most, something to chew, crunch... But not going to blow that now. Though I have another week on liquids, I have my first post-op appointment Thursday. I have a fantasy that doc will give me "time off for good behavior" and ok to go to pureed. Hah. That keeps me going for the moment. If he doesn't, it's only four more days after that of Trader Joe's Tomato Soup and Protein shakes. I don't even much like applesauce and yogurt, but I can't wait. And eventually, I'll be able to crunch again. So looks like we all make it through this (from everything I've read anyway. And it just makes us stronger. Good Luck All!! Karen W in Texas BTW - I am 69, so if there in anyone out there who worries they are too old, just contact me! 3 catnapper, Danni-doinit4me and Recycled reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catnapper 34 Posted March 10, 2014 Love it Bill....u sound like a great guy who got off the path of fear & the unknown onto the road of joy & anticipation! Please write regularly to keep us all updated,ok? The good,bad & the handsome, hehe. 1 Recycled reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MozzaWehsha 58 Posted March 10, 2014 Thanks for that Recycled, I am going through the same emotional pre-appr phase; although I am approved but something was off in one of my tests so we are waiting to Wednesday...and I keep saying good bye to my best friend...so in short...I hope I continue to follow the same pattern/story as you did ) 2 Recycled and ladybug's journey reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladybug's journey 24 Posted March 11, 2014 I totally relate to this....thanks for sharing and helping me understand I'm not the only one! 1 Recycled reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
readyanxiousscared 57 Posted March 11, 2014 I dont know where to begin... This post was beyond mind blowing. To feel understood to the core of the experience and thank you wholeheartedly for that. Its one thing to have support but your post resonates so much deeper because I feel like I'm failing and I haven't even began. I have been sabotaging myself with no clue as to why and as the time goes on I feel like this life saving shit not gonna happen. I need this!!!!! And yet I can't do right. I'm scared 1 Recycled reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MissyLINY 8 Posted March 11, 2014 OMG I so needed to read this! Thank you for sharing 1 Recycled reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mzsweetb 15 Posted April 27, 2015 This is me. Right here this post its like you are in my head!! I am in the begining stage of the 6 month wait. I had to wait a whole year for my job to be qualify under the insurance. If i can wait a year to qualify i can wait six months for this surgery... You are so right Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recycled 2,182 Posted April 27, 2015 This is me. Right here this post its like you are in my head!! I am in the begining stage of the 6 month wait. I had to wait a whole year for my job to be qualify under the insurance. If i can wait a year to qualify i can wait six months for this surgery... You are so right Not only will you be able to handle the wait.....You'll do great with the post-op and the new lifestyle. I did and your're gonna love the new you. The whole thing passes in a flash.......Enjoy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taweedeegirl 68 Posted April 28, 2015 I think there is more worry and doubt in our minds during the qualifying waiting stage than the actual surgery. Are we gonna be approved? Are we gonna prove we can lose weight before surgery? Are we gonna gain weight? I don't care if I get approved? I've always failed at losing and this is no different. What if I don't change after surgery. I enjoy the food too much and don't want to give it up. I'm fooling myself ! ! I couldn't get my mind into the process and it just didn't seem real to me. I continued to eat as I always had. I even gained a few pounds and made excuses as to why when I went to the monthly PCP appointments. I felt guilty constantly thinking I should be trying to get used to the eating habits or I'd be in big trouble later. But at the same time it felt like I was being asked to kill my best friend and I wanted to cherish whatever time was left. So I ate. Not just normally. I went out of my way to re-visit my favorites to get in a farewell, so to speak. And while savoring those delectable dishes, my mind was reinforcing the thought I would never get used to "rabbit" food. During those moments I reveled in the pleasure of food and the thought of some undesirable WLS was the last thing on my mind. The months passed. I continued going to appointments to keep up appearances of my big deception. And as delays set in and additional tests were required, it just made it more likely that probably nothing was gonna change. I wasn't sure if I cared or not. Either way, why bother to try to adjust to some unnecessary weight loss requirement if the surgery wasn't gonna happen anyway. Hmmm, did I really think that or was I trying to subconsciously sabotage the process. Who knows. Out of the blue, the "call". Your approved......now pick a surgery date! After hanging up the phone, nervous anticipation sets in. It's real and the surgery doesn't even make me flinch. The life style change afterwards does. Can I really do this? I should have been getting used to this for the last 8 months. Damn, this is gonna be 10 times harder now. Two weeks. Are you kidding me. Pre-op diet tomorrow? Cold turkey? This is just too soon. Breathe..........think about the skinny you. Think about not dying from a heart attack. Whatever, just get on board, cause your life changes in two weeks. OK, panic is over. I've been on the pre-op for two weeks and it wasn't so bad. I really can do this. Surgery is tomorrow and I'm anxious to feel the pounds coming off and see me changing. Wow, that was fast. Surgery is over. Not as bad as I was prepared for. The post-op stages seem game-like. Drink this now. Walk. Now you can eat blended stuff. Not bad. Learn about nutrition. Choose the good stuff for the tiny stomach. Easy pesy. And I'm losing. I am doing it and really losing. Alot. It is gonna work and it appears I can adjust. And most importantly, life moves on and I adapt and change. Who would've believed it ? The food choices are fine. The nutrition requirements are fine. I'm satisfied and I don't feel I'm missing any foods from my pre-op life. My mind is set on the future and my goals and whatever doubts I had pre-op are distant memories of a past life. Message: Don't sweat the waiting period! THIS HELPED ME SOOOOO MUCH RIGHT NOW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mclorrie 219 Posted April 29, 2015 Thanks for this inspiration Recycled! I'm on month 5 of 6, and this is all I can think about! You're so right about this journey going so quickly! Today is my next appearance, and I have been losing weight, (not a lot) but enough to show that I'm serious about having this surgery done. I'm so looking forward to being where you're currently at - losing weight, and losing it fast!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joanne keeton 14 Posted April 29, 2015 Karen W, I'm 64 and was concerned that I was too far gone health wise. I have all the co-morbidities except heart disease. I am a preschool teacher. I have taught preschool for the last 11 years and before that I taught in public school for 30. I am retiring at the end of May. My knees are hurting so badly. I have been to 3 seminars, had my appointment with the surgeon, counsellor, dietitian, and my exercise person. I have gotten clearance from the cardiologist, internist, and see the pulmonologist Friday. I have had EDG too. I am on a 1200 calorie diet for 3 months. Glad to hear that you did well. I am so excited and nervous that I won't be approved. Glad age wasn't a factor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites