It is what it is

[gowalking 10,790]

I know so many of us have become calorie counters, scale watchers, exercise nuts...blah blah blah. You know what I'm talking about. And...we obsess if we don't follow the rules to a T. Well, last night I went to dinner with the family and we shared several items. We do that quite often and I like it because then I don't wind up with most of my entree still on the plate.

So as I sat at the table I decided to have a cocktail rather than a glass of wine...which I knew was more calories but that pineapple margarita was just calling my name. Then even though I only took a little of everything...I had everything. I weigh once a week every Sunday and was not surprised to see a gain of 1/2 lb.

I thought for a moment that if I had not had that meal, I'd have likely seen a loss this week. But I had a wonderful time with my family last night and if it meant a small gain, so what. I'm eating today as I always do, knowing my calorie consumption will be back to normal. I will do the same the rest of the week and the small gain will likely be reversed.

What I'm trying to get at is that we have to live with our bands (hopefully) the rest of our lives and food is always going to be a part of our experiences. I'm determined to enjoy my food when I am enjoying the related socializing. That doesn't mean eating till I'm stuffed...or till I'm sick. But if it means eating a little too much, or eating foods that are a little higher in sodium or fat, then I will. And if it means a small gain well...like my thread says, it is what it is.

As long as the next day I go back to my normal way of eating, I am OK with the occasional splurge. I will not guilt myself into being miserable and I won't promise myself it will never happen again. It will happen again but as long as it doesn't happen day after day after day, I really think I can live with it. And that's the point....living with it day in and day out. I think that's how to succeed at this.

Edited March 9, 2014 by gowalking

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

My husband and I ate at a very "fine dining" restaurant for my BDay this past Friday... Clancy's in New Orleans. We ordered two appetizers and each ordered a lump crab salad. We shared the delicious appetizers. Did not order an entree. They brought us a complimentary dessert for my BDay, and we wach took one bute snd savored it! left the rest on the plate. As we were eating, I was telling him how the French eat wonderful, rich foods, but they savor each bite and the experience of fine dining. Their obesity rate is much lower than that of the U.S. .... We used to be all about processed foods and QUANTITY.... Not quality. With the band, I now focus on quality. I'm enjoying my life and sticking to the basics 90% of the time. The other 10%, I'll be living like the French.... Enjoying the food, the wine, and the dining experience. Good for you. I'd still like to meet you when I go to New York in April.

[Leepers 1,195]

I love this post, gowalking. We do have to enjoy ourselves. And then we get right back on track. It's about learning balance. That will keep us happy and successful long term.

[FruitLoop 86]

???? Thank you for that! Now I don't feel so guilty about eating that yummy garlic cheese biscuit at Red Lobster last night, lol. First piece of bread I have had in 2 1/2 months! That is the key to our success though I do believe , yes we can have that occasional splurge as long as we go back to our designated way of eating ! Yes, It Is What It Is! Thanks again for the reassurance !

[chasingadream 1,311]

So true...and I am learning this more and more everyday....my husbands st. patrick day entemanns cupcakes were calling my name the minute I saw them...you know the GOOD ones with the thick mound of frosting on top. I cut a small piece of it....two bites worth...and said "mmmm" and left the rest of it (3/4) in the box for him. I don't ask him not to bring treats into the house but he is mindful to keep them out of my line of sight or only bring in something small...but i had a taste and now its done.

Great job....thanks for sharing that....

[mrsto 2,925]

Gowalking - I feel exactly the same as you. I'm at a very comfortable place with my band and my weight, and allow myself to enjoy eating and drinking in social situations. At those times I will also enjoy a drink WITH my meal, even though we've been trained otherwise. If I gain a pound, it comes right off in the next couple of days.

We have a friend who lost a lot of weight, and he's become like a religious zealot. They were over on Superbowl Sunday, and he told me that anytime he overeats, it means that much MORE time exercising. My response was "whatever works for you". To me, feeling the need to exercise like crazy because I had an off day, is like a punishment. Like you, when I have an off day, I get right back to my "normal" routine, and any gained weight or bloat comes right off; no need to pound it out on a treadmill, running path, etc.

Thanks for this post..... I love to read from people who have become relaxed in their banded lives, and don't freak out because they ate something "off", or that they saw a pound or two come back on the scale. It's ALL about balance.

Edited March 9, 2014 by mrsto

[kimk1999 450]

This is how I feel too. Had a nice date night with my guy tonight. Had wine and a dessert. The scales will probably reflect it tomorrow but I've learned from lifelong dieting that if I truly deprive myself of something for too long there will be a binge episode if not multiple ones. So sharing a dessert here and there and having wine with dinner isn't so bad. Sure the weight will take a bit longer but I want to enjoy life

[gowalking 10,790]

My husband and I ate at a very "fine dining" restaurant for my BDay this past Friday... Clancy's in New Orleans. We ordered two appetizers and each ordered a lump crab salad. We shared the delicious appetizers. Did not order an entree. They brought us a complimentary dessert for my BDay, and we wach took one bute snd savored it! left the rest on the plate. As we were eating, I was telling him how the French eat wonderful, rich foods, but they savor each bite and the experience of fine dining. Their obesity rate is much lower than that of the U.S. .... We used to be all about processed foods and QUANTITY.... Not quality. With the band, I now focus on quality. I'm enjoying my life and sticking to the basics 90% of the time. The other 10%, I'll be living like the French.... Enjoying the food, the wine, and the dining experience. Good for you. I'd still like to meet you when I go to New York in April.

Happy Birthday! Let me know when you'll be here in NYC and if I can, I'll surely try to meet up with you. PM me with details and we'll go from there. I was in The Big Easy several years ago and must tell you that the food was spectacular. We did Commander's Palace, Brennan's, and some real casual place near Lake Pontchartrain where we ate mounds and mounds of crawfish. We had gumbo and etouffee as well at some hole in the wall in the French Quarter. New Orleans was far and away, one of the best food destinations I've ever been to.

[gowalking 10,790]

So true...and I am learning this more and more everyday....my husbands st. patrick day entemanns cupcakes were calling my name the minute I saw them...you know the GOOD ones with the thick mound of frosting on top. I cut a small piece of it....two bites worth...and said "mmmm" and left the rest of it (3/4) in the box for him. I don't ask him not to bring treats into the house but he is mindful to keep them out of my line of sight or only bring in something small...but i had a taste and now its done.

Great job....thanks for sharing that....

If heaven exists Tracy, it will be filled with Entenmann's and we'll be able to eat as much as we want. My favorites are the chocolate donuts and the soft chocolate chip Cookies. Yum.

[Lady VS 1,147]

Well said gowalking

[MandaMom23 684]

Love this!!

Right now, I'm working on getting rid of 'food guilt'. I'm so afraid of gaining my weight back, I was having a hard not feeling guilty when I'd enjoy a treat. What I've started reminding myself is that I didn't gain all my weight from enjoying a cupcake every now and then, having a handful of chips occasionally, or indulging in a yummy meal at a nice restaurant a couple times a year. I gained, because i was doing these things regularly/daily, and I wasn't being mindful. I simply didn't care. Now, that's totally different...I do care, and I am mindful of everything I eat.

This is life, and food is always and forever going to be a part of it. It's really ok to enjoy it!!

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Manda- that's me! I didn't get the way I did eating an occasional bite of something it was more a binge fest! I am trying to do the same thing / if I really want something I just ask for a bite here and there and I don't actually get it for my meal or eat it by myself. It makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself.

[parisshel 1,892]

Gowalking...you always start the most awesome discussions!

One of my hopes for WLS is that my lapband would allow me to view and eat food like a naturally- thin person. By that I mean someone who is genetically thin, not someone who dieted their way to a normal weight. I live in Paris, where the majority of people here are like this--born thin and stay thin throughout their lives, as HealthyNewMe correctly observes.

And I'm so very grateful that this wish for my lapband has happened for me. With my appetite dimmed, and my stomach capacity so much smaller than without the band, I do look at my food, and eat my food, like a "normal" person. And you know what? A "normal" person has days, occasions, celebrations when they have a special cocktail, or a slice of wedding cake, or something that they don't have on an ordinary day. But instead of this derailing them, they very naturally just start back (at the next meal, or the next day) with their "normal" (for me, that means "banded") way of eating. This is what you are describing, Gowalking, and this, to me, is a huge NSV!

Before my lapband, I was one slice of cake away from falling off the wagon. Seriously. I lost 50 pounds over a two year period, from 2003 to 2005. And at Christmas 2005, I sat down at the table, looked at the holiday meal, and said to myself "just one piece of that dessert" (a yule log, for those interested). And then it was off to the races...gaining everything back and more....and the cycle began again. That one dessert put me back on the road to regain. With my lapband, I do not have this "on program/off program" mentality, so if I have a square of chocolate, or a slice of cake, or a glass of wine, it doesn't make my mind switch into the "I've blown it now so might as well EAT ALL THE FOOD until my next weigh-in, when I'll get back on program."

I know I'll never be a "normal" person in terms of having a natural, born-with-it mindset around eating, but with my lapband, I know that it gives me tremendous help in eating like a normal person.

Great thread and I'm loving everybody's contributions here.

Edited March 10, 2014 by parisshel

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I know so many of us have become calorie counters, scale watchers, exercise nuts...blah blah blah. You know what I'm talking about. And...we obsess if we don't follow the rules to a T. Well, last night I went to dinner with the family and we shared several items. We do that quite often and I like it because then I don't wind up with most of my entree still on the plate.

So as I sat at the table I decided to have a cocktail rather than a glass of wine...which I knew was more calories but that pineapple margarita was just calling my name. Then even though I only took a little of everything...I had everything. I weigh once a week every Sunday and was not surprised to see a gain of 1/2 lb.

I thought for a moment that if I had not had that meal, I'd have likely seen a loss this week. But I had a wonderful time with my family last night and if it meant a small gain, so what. I'm eating today as I always do, knowing my calorie consumption will be back to normal. I will do the same the rest of the week and the small gain will likely be reversed.

What I'm trying to get at is that we have to live with our bands (hopefully) the rest of our lives and food is always going to be a part of our experiences. I'm determined to enjoy my food when I am enjoying the related socializing. That doesn't mean eating till I'm stuffed...or till I'm sick. But if it means eating a little too much, or eating foods that are a little higher in sodium or fat, then I will. And if it means a small gain well...like my thread says, it is what it is.

As long as the next day I go back to my normal way of eating, I am OK with the occasional splurge. I will not guilt myself into being miserable and I won't promise myself it will never happen again. It will happen again but as long as it doesn't happen day after day after day, I really think I can live with it. And that's the point....living with it day in and day out. I think that's how to succeed at this.

lizzie

what a great post/thread....you are absolutely right

eating alittle something every now and again is not a bad thing

it was good...it was delicious and life does go on.....

all of us with a weight problem got that way by eating more calories

than we burned off....i did not wake up one day and boom it was there..

and now that i am losing weight/inches, my eating has def changed...the

WLS i have will only let me so much so i am making better choices..i am

not perfect and i do eat this and i do eat that but i always make sure

to get right back on track....just like you did......ATTA girl..