Telling people Im having weight loss surgery.

[green*eyed*girl 170]

I only told my mom, dad, sister and fiance.

I told everybody else that I'm having a gall bladder surgery coz I have over 10 stones - and that is true. So I am just not disclosing the full truth. If a morbidly obese person would ask me how I lost all the weight I would probably tell her/him as I would not want to make that person feel even worst about herself thinking "oh she could do it only with diet why can't I?"

My family? Oh how lucky I am... My mom was the one who asked me if I would consider this surgery so I can live longer and healthier. True love there My dad is not that easy going although supportive he was just sitting there quite and he said he can not wrap his head around that I will lose 85% of a completely healthy organ. There was not much to reply...thank god my Mom has a big influence on my Dad so he is on board.

[Amarie812 11]

I also have been very iffy about telling people im having this surgery only because people are so judgemental. I told my mom and grandma who are like rooting for me bc they know ive been obese all my life so they are all for it. My sister whos a little smaller than me does not support me at all, I dont know if shes afraid for me and surgery or shes jealous. She hasnt quite been too open with me about it..she just says u need to just go to the gym. We recently got into an altercation and the first thing she starts coming at me with is about me being fat and wanting to get surgery and go cry about my weight.. like what the fuck. It hurt me at first but I had to remind myself how I feel and why I am doing this. I guess I cant count on support from her!

My cousin whom I am cery close with knows and she supports me.. wants to know about every appt I have and is willing to go thru this with me. So im very thankful for that. My brother also.. his wife had the bypass and she looks great..so the only thing is that hes trying to tell me to get the bypass instead of sleep but my doctor recommend the sleeve for me and thats what I feel safe with doing.. besides his wife was wayy bigger than I am now.

My only concern is my coworkers finding out. I work direct care taking care of mentally disabled individuals so luckily I work in a residence where there is only 5guys who only 4 of them would notice the change and 5 coworkers. So I dont have to worry about a bunch of people knowing at work. My boss has the lap band.. I havent told him yet but I feel a little more comfortable knowing he went thru wls and telling him but he also has diarrhea of the mouth but I will make sure I tell him that this is confidential even tho I know my coworkers will find out eventually... just been figuring out what kind of surgery im telling them im having instead of saying wls.. help!

[jinvegas 9]

I have only told my immediate family and they have been very supportive. I haven't told friends or extended family because, and I'm assuming, that they will feel I took the easy way out. Now, I know it is not the easy way out by any means. Every time I am reassured that it isn't the easy way out I start getting teary-eyed. I chose not to tell all the people in my life because I feel that I need to focus on my journey more than what people think about what I'm doing with my life.

I'm 10 days post op and have lost 18lbs since the day of surgery. The first week was super hard, mostly because I was an emotional wreck. Today I feel a million times better and love love love seeing the weight melt off. I have a neck people!!!!! I'm excited every time it can see it! But anyways, that's me!!

[Sboulie 90]

I completely understand and have been thinking about this a lot. I am having the sleeve the 24th and my husband is one of those " can't you just not eat?" people. He's not rude. He just doesn't get it. I've had the lap band for 2 years without success so I've been through this before. I am telling as few people as possible because most like to judge. After it's done they can judge my smaller healthy butt all they want!!!! Lol

Amen to that!!!! My hubby is the same way. You're fat??...don't eat.... That's his solution. Of course he's not as callous as that but that's what I hear. I don't have any support for those that I would expect to. My mom and sisters only see the complications not the good. I thank god for this site and other people who just GET what I'm going through!

Edited March 15, 2014 by sboulie77

[AR40 88]

This is so crazy! I agree with everyone's comments but why are we so worried about what others will say?! If someone had cancer no one would say "do you really want to do chemo...?"

[lessstomachmoreme 6]

This is a hard one. I am a mental health professional and an open book.

I've been honest with coworkers who asked me why I am going on surgical leave and I was amused -- and then annoyed -- that so many people think that I was asking for their input. I've learned that when they start, I put up my hand and say, "Oh I was just informing you, I wasn't asking for your opinion or permission." Or I have said: "I don't really want anyone's opinion, I just want support." Or when they are mean, I say, "I just make my haters my motivators." (And it worries me that these are mental health professionals! Get some tact, please!)

I've had some unexpected responses - some of the people who I have felt close to have been somewhat critical, and other people who have just been acquaintances have been very encouraging and supportive - you never know what people are reacting to, but I think most of the time it is really their own issues about weight or food that are getting in the way.

The bottom line: I choose to listen to people who uplift me and avoid people who diminish me. (And ultimately worry most about pleasing myself.) I'm excited to start this journey and the people who care about me are happy for me.

One thing I have found very helpful and empowering is a weekly bariatric support group that I have been going to preop. There are lots of nice people who really want to help others and have lots of great advice and give you lots of support who have gone through exactly what you have and don't judge.

[AR40 88]

I completely understand and have been thinking about this a lot. I am having the sleeve the 24th and my husband is one of those " can't you just not eat?" people. He's not rude. He just doesn't get it. I've had the lap band for 2 years without success so I've been through this before. I am telling as few people as possible because most like to judge. After it's done they can judge my smaller healthy butt all they want!!!! Lol

Amen to that!!!! My hubby is the same way. You're fat??...don't eat.... That's his solution. Of course he's not as callous as that but that's what I hear. I don't have any support for those that I would expect to. My mom and sisters only see the complications not the good. I thank god for this site and other people who just GET what I'm going through!

You can do this ! We all can!!!

[Malsr 49]

Those of you who are not telling people, what do you plan to say when you get asked a million times about how you did it?

I am very choosey about who I tell. My immediate family is in the loop, as well as my best friend, and boss (who currently has a Lap Band like me). I lost about 80 lbs. with my Lap Band and told those who did not know about my little assistant, that I ate less and exercised. All true since I trained for a marathon and was of course eating less because of the band. I'm not going to lie, but I also don't have to discuss my personal medical choices with anyone.

I look at it this way: I'm an addict. Plain and simple. I am addicted to food and use it as a coping mechanism. It is something I will always have to work on even with WLS. I don't have to share how I treat my addiction with anyone. Just like alcoholics don't have to reveal that they go to AA. It's anonymous for a reason. My decision to have surgery and it's necessity does not have to be disclosed just because someone asks.

[GardenLady 9]

I decided to have bariatric surgery because I started having complications from my Type 2 diabetes. I've been very open with my family, friends and co-workers about why I'm having WLS and my experiences to date with it. Several of my co-workers have had a variety of surgeries from band to Roux en Y and my sister had the Roux. I've had nothing but pleasant encounters with all of them with very few exceptions. I've even been approached by a co-worker whose wife had the sleeve and he offered to put her in contact with me for support. In general, they all know that I don't really need their approbation on decisions I've made. I wanted them to know and for the word to get out to those that I don't routinely talk with so that the correct rumor would be out there and people would know that I was okay with discussing it. I would rather they know why instead of speculating I have cancer or something more extreme - they are all good people and some would be crazy with concern if they didn't understand that it was a personal decision I made voluntarily.

[HeatherSchwartz 43]

The things people say!!! I was even told I was going to Hell for being vain. Geezzz

[La Lily 14]

The things people say!!! I was even told I was going to Hell for being vain. Geezzz

Wow. That is terrible. Isn't your body supposed to be a temple and your just trying to take care of it? Don't let them get to you!! You are trying to be healthy. What more can we want?