Telling people Im having weight loss surgery.

[Ndipilato 50]

I understand! I am a RN and even tho my surgery isn't being done at the hospital I work at, I had most of my testing done there! At first I didn't want anyone to know but as I have gotten farther into the process I don't care.

I have lost quite a bit if weight in the 6 month wait plus lost about 30 lbs before I started! I have some supportive people but many if my coworkers are asking me why I am doing it since I have lost so much weight! I know I am not doing it for them, I am doing it for myself and my girls but it is frustrating!

You just need to remember your reasons for doing it and no matter what you do, there will always be difficult or disapproving people! Those are the people you either cut out of your life or politely listen to and move on! It is your life, weight, health, & so on; therefore it is YOUR decision and yours alone!!

[sunny2day 50]

I too have been very open about it from the day I decided to go to a seminar to learn about weight loss surgery. What surprised me I think was the ones closest to me who have seen me struggle my whole adult life with obesity did not understand. They would try and convince me of other means to loose the weight. Or they were skeptical and assumed since I could not loose it the TRADITIONAL way, (exercise and eating habits), then I must be looking for a quick fix. What they don't realize is how exhausting it is to constanty struggle with health issues daily because of your obesity, or how depressing it is emotionally to be considered obese, or how hard you really try to work at it but without the tool, its only a matter of time before you fall of the wagon. What I have learned is that when someone decides to give me a negative opinion or advise, I simply tell them I am choosing to look at the positive side of the process and sure there may be complications or rocks in the road but when your obese you fight these obstacles daily so what have you truly got to loose? Maybe I wont loose any weight or maybe I will loose it all but without trying I'll never know. As far as the risk with weight loss surgery, I took a risk every day that I am obese just getting out of bed and hoping I don't have a heart attack or any severe life threatening issues as a result of my prolonged obesity. Never be ashamed of your decision, this is a decision that only you can make for yourself. Good Luck with your journey.

[La Lily 14]

I completely understand and have been thinking about this a lot. I am having the sleeve the 24th and my husband is one of those " can't you just not eat?" people. He's not rude. He just doesn't get it. I've had the lap band for 2 years without success so I've been through this before. I am telling as few people as possible because most like to judge. After it's done they can judge my smaller healthy butt all they want!!!! Lol

[katesuccess 990]

I've got a really public job, and dread telling anyone outside my husband and adult daughters. I've decided I'm just going to say I'm having surgery to correct a long term gastric problem, and my doctor recommends it now. End of story - if anyone struggling with weight asked, I might tell them - but really it isn't anyone else's business to dig into this and comment - helpful or not! It's going to be hard enough to do this, without the added stress of fighting all those little awkward comments, even if well-meaning.

[beeteroo 166]

I've got a really public job, and dread telling anyone outside my husband and adult daughters. I've decided I'm just going to say I'm having surgery to correct a long term gastric problem, and my doctor recommends it now. End of story - if anyone struggling with weight asked, I might tell them - but really it isn't anyone else's business to dig into this and comment - helpful or not! It's going to be hard enough to do this, without the added stress of fighting all those little awkward comments, even if well-meaning.

That's a great way to describe it! A long term gastric problem. Thanks.....I may use it. I don't want to tell my employer what kind of surgery I'm having. I just want to tell them that I've got to have surgery and need to take a bit of time off. I'm not interested in telling them all the details.

[Bluesea71 698]

I'm a very private person and my Husband and parents are the only people I am telling. I haven't even told my children yet. I hate to admit it, but I have began to set up the scenario now by telling people that I have started attending lifestyle/weight management classes at my hospital and am working closely with a dietitian. This way when the weight starts falling off post-surgery, it wont be a surprise! It IS true... It's just not the whole truth!

[grammyC 1]

I am having my Sleeve surgery March 20th. I have been researching it since last August and finally got up the nerve to take the 90 minute class. I meet with the doctor and the rest and he fast tracked my surgery in 3 weeks due to a large umbilical hernia.

I have told my husband of course and 4 of my closest friends as we get together as couples 2x a month usually for dinner and cards. I have told my grown children but I am telling everyone else that I am having hernia surgery. Most of them know I have this hernia so it won't be a shock. I had two stomach surgeries a year ago October and they could never find out why I was so sick (vomiting, severe pain and diarrhea ) I should have had the WLS then but the surgeon who did my stomach surgeries 2 within 5 days was such a jerk because I was fat that I wouldn't listen to him. Thank God I found a great compassionate surgeon to do this surgery.

The reason I am not telling everyone is because I don't want to hear their negative comments. As I said I have been researching this since August and I think I have read every website out there. This is the right decision for ME and I don't need uninformed opinions!

I think everyone knows themselves and who they want to tell. So far all my friends have been supportive one had some worries but in a caring and loving way we went over things and she is feeling much better about it. My kids are behind me but I could hear the worry and my husband has been very supportive .

[Smashelle 41]

This is a great topic. I am Struggling with this sooooo much.

I have shared the topic with my sister in-law who has had the lap band. She tells people that she has been successful by using the less in more out method. (less food more exercise) and this appeases them. However our Mother inlaw is awfully harsh and I am not comfortable lying to her or telling her, so I am stuck. I don't want my husband uncomfortable lying to her either.

I bought up the subject with my sister months ago and was cut down, (she is also morbidly obese) so I am unsure weather to share my experience of just go through it privately. I am having a gastric sleeve next Tuesday.

I have told my three closest friends, (which includes my sister inlaw) and my husband. I wish I had the confidence to say it was a hernia operation, I don't even know what that is

[jdillon 355]

I have about 8 people in my store that have had the sleeve or the band. So telling people that I work with was mostly easy. They were all thinking that my bmi would not be high enough to get approved. I am borderline 40 Bmi. Our bookkeeper is 2 wks post op and is really supportive and wanting to share everything with me to help prepare me and help me when I finally get a date for surgery. Telling my family is another story. When would it be the best time if ever to tell them? I know they are going to freak out and try to talk me out of it. Especially my mom. Is it best to wait until after the surgery? I do not know how to handle this at all. I don't want to keep it from them but at the same time I know what will come from telling them. I am leaning towards after surgery.

[DairyFairy42 30]

Ive told mum and two sisters and I only told my sisters in case something goes wrong and they can help my mum and deal with kids. Im single parent, told ex manager and thats it. I am terrible, its not that I cant lie, its I have to tell the truth lol so I will say had medical problems so couldnt eat, hernia op which meant I still couldn't eat and then was so fed up with food lost my appetite. Its not quite the truth but its not quite a lie.

[NMJG 1,266]

Those of you who are not telling people, what do you plan to say when you get asked a million times about how you did it?

Moon, I answered that I was cutting back on carbs and doing exercise, which is all true. Give them a bone like, "bread will really do it to you, I am so addicted to bread" they will start going on about how addicted they are to bread, etc. etc. etc. and you don't have to say another thing lol. They will do all the talking for you

[MissyLINY 8]

Those of you who are not telling people, what do you plan to say when you get asked a million times about how you did it?

I only plan on telling a few people. My husband, mom & the friend who encouraged me to do this are the only ones that know so far. I'm hoping to have the surgery in June & plan to tell the rest of my immediate family, my in-laws, my boss & my BFF then. That's it. Everyone else is being told that I re-joined Weight Watchers & finally started taking the gym seriously. My brother's getting engaged soon, so I'll just tell them his wedding is motivating me lol

[KayleeC14 159]

When I was getting around to telling people I was very choosy on who I told. I told my best friends, and few family members before the surgery date was set. I lost quite a few friends from having the surgery because they were very negative about it and told me I was quote "taking the easy way out" now after the surgery I tell everybody and their brother about it because I am very proud of myself for taking this step to make myself healthier.

[karinbuck 42]

I had a revelation today. Maybe it's the pre op diet talking. Lol. Anyway like I said before, I'm an open book kind of person and I have told everyone about my upcoming surgery. I realized that I don't really care what others think. The people closest to me have been behind my decision, even the ones who don't agree with it. I am also realizing that this surgery is definitely not "the easy way out". As most people would have us believe.

[MelBooks 76]

I had a revelation today. Maybe it's the pre op diet talking. Lol. Anyway like I said before, I'm an open book kind of person and I have told everyone about my upcoming surgery. I realized that I don't really care what others think. The people closest to me have been behind my decision, even the ones who don't agree with it. I am also realizing that this surgery is definitely not "the easy way out". As most people would have us believe.

I've been coming around to this the past few days. I've shared that I will be having surgery with my closest girlfriends and they've been so supportive it made me cry!

But, I have trust issues with my family (They're the kind of people who "joke" about things that are not funny by bringing up old stuff), and I'm not sure what to tell them. I live in a different state and only see them all a few times a year. If I am happy and comfortable with the decision, I feel like I can let any comments roll off my back. My sister will be staying with us to help take care of the kids, so I'll obviously tell her (right now she thinks it's hernia surgery), but again, trust issues make me wary.