Wondering

[grejoz2593 7]

I was wondering if anyone else out there that's married and only one of you have been sleeved if you have had relationship issues ?

[Carlotta1 401]

My husband was very hesitant for me to have the sleeve surgery. However, he was supportive when I made up my mind that this is what I want. Basically our relationship has not changed. He is happy for my success in losing 40 pounds so far. He never was negative to me when I weighed over 200 pounds.

He wants the best for me ...to be happy, healthy, etc. It is all good.

[Christian Zaccone 243]

Carlotta,, Im happy for u.. I have heard issues from some people. Both sides. One person loses it and and other gets worried and it causes issues as well as the person that has lost the weight wants to go "test the waters" and see if the grass is greener.. Its all about how strong your relationship is. I feel if the man is not supportive of your choice then it probably not going to last anyways. Just my opinion.. The partner should always be supportive.

Chris

[newlysleeved 4]

My husband was not for my sleeve surgery, but on the other hand he was supportive. For the most part he was worried about long term complications and life style that I would have to lead. He has always said that he wants me to be happy and if the surgery was going to make me happy then he would support me. When I came home from the hospital he was amazing. He really stepped up and took care of me. When I started to get better he was uneasy and upset. He was/is worried about everything I put in my mouth. With that said our relationship is strong. You and your husband will have to be understanding of each other and communicate. You and your husband will be fine.

[ms.t 17]

My boyfriend didn't want me to have it because he was afraid that something would happen to me during surgery but I said sweetie I'm dying a slow death now but he came around and he loves the new me. Now my girlfriend had it and her husband was there for her from day one but she changed not him. It went to her head its ashame to because he was good to her.

[grejoz2593 7]

No what I'm trying to say after talking to some of my friends that had the surgery have had just little blips of marriage issues it's gone away but it's nothing I think you can mentally prepare yourself for it.

[Pepper1382 35]

I worry slightly about this, but for a different aspect. My husband and I love each other very much and he has always been super supportive of my decision for WLS since day 1. My issue is that he is also overweight (not morbidly obese like me) and trying to lose weight as well. He is super grumpy when we were dieting and always looked to me to cave in and "allow" us to cheat since I would have no will power and wasn't seeing results anyways. So now, at first there is a lot I can't eat and later I will be losing and will be motivated to stick to the diet. So I fear he will be super grumpy and it will cause a lot of arguments. Whatever comes I am sure we can handle it, we just don't argue much now and I fear that will change. I guess only time will tell!

[NotSoTall 33]

I don't know that I'm dialing into what you mean by the blips as I was thinking a lot like those who responded, but I can imagine there can be issues if one person is changing significantly in their appearance, confidence and such. Jealousy could flare with worry about outside influences or not measuring up anymore.

I have a colleague that had RNY and lost her weight and shortly after hooked up with another coworker and started divorce proceedings from her spouse. Shocked many of us as they'd seemed to have such a great relationship and boom, it was over. When I say great relationship she had beamed when she spoke about hubby, he would visit and dote on her, took on co-parenting her kids, she of his and then boom it was over. He was rocked. I will say her personality did shift to the negative. Let's just say humble left her vocabulary. Dumped lots of old friends too.

Another colleague had the sleeve and he's just angry and snippy all the time. Cannot speak on how he is at home but as someone around him everyday I find it easier to avoid than interact.

Again this might not be the way you intended, but I can see there's a lot of potential for challenges.

My hubby is overweight too, but somehow over the last 25+ years when I lose weight he does too even though he doesn't follow whatever plan i do and we always seem to remain about 60-80 pounds apart (I'm 5ft, he's 6ft). Even now he's lost 10 pounds since my surgery doing is own thing. So somehow we share the journey in our own twisted way.

[yvimac1 21]

I was wondering if anyone else out there that's married and only one of you have been sleeved if you have had relationship issues ?

[abbyabby 11]

I'm curious also. My fiancé hasn't been supportive of my decision either. He's not overweight. I've put on about 100 since having two kids and becoming a stay home mom. In 2013 I finally made the decision that I'm putting myself first for a change. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and all, but haven't taken care of "me" in almost 8 years. Things are changing for the better for me. I won't let myself down or be put last anymore. I'm nervous about what this surgery will do to our relationship. I figure whatever happens, happens. I'm not going to let myself sink any further than I have over the past several years. Getting happier and healthier is the best thing for myself and my kids, even if it means I do it alone. I want to set a better example for my kids!