gmanbat 5,889 Posted February 26, 2014 Veterans...why do we do it? Answering the same questions thousands of times, saying "good luck" or "my prayers are with you" to people about to go to surgery, welcoming countless newbies, dealing with people who are easily offended and strike back, trying to give solace to people who are being chewed up by family, coworkers and relatives, ....why? Empathy. The ability to share someone else's feelings. I believe it is the hallmark of mental and emotional maturity. It is.....being human as humans were intended to be. Think about it, with just a few lines or a paragraph we can alleviate the suffering of another human being. Our triumphs become theirs, our knowledge from mistakes made relieves them from falling into the same traps, our battles won becomes the catalyst for their struggles to overcome despair. Who needs grateful feedback? Realizing that our small effort destroys misery is an amazing reward. We are helping people create beautiful lives, helping humans rise from the ashes. Empathy acted upon is love. Love, ...the more you give the more you have ...and the more you want give it. Now there's an addiction worth diving into! 20 Lorie269, EarthyGoalie, frumpynomore and 17 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted February 26, 2014 Well said Gman...I also feel that there is not enough information out there that is helpful to those who are entering this process or have started the process. There is nothing like experience to teach yourself and others how you can get through the difficult times of this journey. They are not a lone and that is so important. It is to me to have been able to find people on this forum that encouraged me to keep going, who gave me strength when it was impossible and even when I didn't like some of the answers I knew where they were coming from...So it was all worth it to me and so therefore I want to give it back....You know " pay it forward. " There are so many views about different issues. you can sift through them to see what applies to you. While others will find other information helpful... I am so indebted to the people who have helped me a long the way. I am the only person I know personally that has had weight loss surgery in my area.... Great post Gman!!!!!!!! 2 ProudGrammy and gmanbat reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ProudGrammy 8,322 Posted February 26, 2014 Empathy acted upon is love. Love, ...the more you give the more you have ...and the more you want give it. Now there's an addiction worth diving into! gmanbat I wish i could add something to your wonderful post you said everything so eloquently (msp?) kathy 2 gmanbat and LilMissDiva Irene reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LilMissDiva Irene 3,282 Posted February 26, 2014 (edited) Well said! I agree! Good job! Etc... that's me feeling empathy. In times when someone gets "snappy" back at me (and it does happen quite often), I just "shine them on". I will either reply around them or ignore it all together. But, no matter what and how long a break I'll take, you will always see me come back. Edited February 26, 2014 by LilMissDiva 2 ProudGrammy and gmanbat reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CowgirlJane 14,260 Posted February 26, 2014 Well said! Staying engaged with newcomers also keeps me focused on my own, on-going journey. My perspective on this is that goal weight is not the end... this isn't a race... this is an ongoing journey and lifestyle I am also reminded of Tiffykins and how much her taking time to share her story influenced ME. She gave me hope when I had very little. Sometimes maybe I can do the same for another...paying it forward so to speak. 3 gmanbat, coops and ProudGrammy reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanbat 5,889 Posted February 26, 2014 How much we can change! I was thinking about when my obese wife came home to her obese and very sick husband and began talking about the gastric sleeve bypass surgery that a coworker of hers got. At first I tuned her out with my wife frequency filter. When she persisted on I moved into arguing and ridicule mode. Yes, I said many of the Jerky things that are posted here that husbands say to wives about the surgery. "Why don't I just hold a gun to your head while you're eating!" "Why can't you just stick to a diet?" "You just need to exercise more!" "This thing could kill you!" Finally she talked me into going to a support group featuring the bariatric surgeon. I agreed out of a secret plan to find things to argue about. I may be stubborn but good science and logic speaks to me. The man presented a great case. In that hour I saw a way out of my impending death. On our way home I let my wife know that not only am I solidly behind her surgery, I shall have one myself. In January of 2010 it started. A year later I was virtually at goal. So was she. Our relationship changed. With the horrendous health problems that came with obesity removed we grew very close with the new energy and freedom from pain. Now I am here trying to help others with you wonderful folks. Happiness loves company. 7 Wags, coops, Oceana and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites