Size reality?!

[920amy 409]

So I'm 15 months out, and SERIOUSLY struggling with the last 40 lbs...at least it feels like that, I've been averaging 5-7 lbs a month the last 3 months or so, which is still good, but I just want it gone already!! I think my obsession with these final pounds is a bit unfounded, I inherited a large amount of size 10 and 12 jeans which I've been wearing for the most of the winter, I've known for about 2 weeks now that I seriously needed to buy some new jeans, but I didn't really 'think' I was thin enough to fit into a size smaller. I kept telling myself that the 10's and 12's had stretched since I've been wearing them so much. Well, today was my day of honesty. I went to Marshalls and locked myself in a dressing room with 5 pairs of size 8 jeans (so TINY looking!) and 5 pairs of size 6 (for funsies, I told myself)...yup, the size 6's fit!! All of them different brands and styles, all of them fit well! They looked good, flattering...but I don't FEEL like I thought I would feel in a size 6. Does this make sense or am I crazy?! I loved the jeans, but then I lamented on my still poochy and now saggy belly...my sad arms, and baggy thighs...I go to the gym everyday now, and size 6 is CRAZY small! Especially compared to the size 24 that I used to be, but WHY don't I FEEL like I'm CRAZY small?! UGH! Does satisfaction come? At what size?! I know, don't focus on the number, don't focus on the measurement...but for so long I've tied my happiness to a pant size, and now I think I was more happy to fit in those 12's I have so many of than I am to fit in the 6's! Before it was 'Wow, I need to buy one of these, and one of these....' now it's 'I need to buy new clothes...AGAIN!'...just frustrated

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

hmmm, can't wait to have that problem. Just as we had portion distortion to start with.... when people lose weight, there is a certain size distortion. Sometimes large people don't realize how large they are and smaller people don't realize how small they are. The mind is a funny thing. I don't think its the size you are unhappy with but the lose skin.

[Tiny One 223]

So I'm 15 months out, and SERIOUSLY struggling with the last 40 lbs...at least it feels like that, I've been averaging 5-7 lbs a month the last 3 months or so, which is still good, but I just want it gone already!! I think my obsession with these final pounds is a bit unfounded, I inherited a large amount of size 10 and 12 jeans which I've been wearing for the most of the winter, I've known for about 2 weeks now that I seriously needed to buy some new jeans, but I didn't really 'think' I was thin enough to fit into a size smaller. I kept telling myself that the 10's and 12's had stretched since I've been wearing them so much. Well, today was my day of honesty. I went to Marshalls and locked myself in a dressing room with 5 pairs of size 8 jeans (so TINY looking!) and 5 pairs of size 6 (for funsies, I told myself)...yup, the size 6's fit!! All of them different brands and styles, all of them fit well! They looked good, flattering...but I don't FEEL like I thought I would feel in a size 6. Does this make sense or am I crazy?! I loved the jeans, but then I lamented on my still poochy and now saggy belly...my sad arms, and baggy thighs...I go to the gym everyday now, and size 6 is CRAZY small! Especially compared to the size 24 that I used to be, but WHY don't I FEEL like I'm CRAZY small?! UGH! Does satisfaction come? At what size?! I know, don't focus on the number, don't focus on the measurement...but for so long I've tied my happiness to a pant size, and now I think I was more happy to fit in those 12's I have so many of than I am to fit in the 6's! Before it was 'Wow, I need to buy one of these, and one of these....' now it's 'I need to buy new clothes...AGAIN!'...just frustrated

Oh my dear 920amy, satisfaction will come if you let it. I knew I had to buy new clothes, but held off for as long as I could without looking sickly in bagging clothes. Luck for me, my surgery was in the winter time, so I was able to get away with oversized sweaters that covered up my pants that were so big they were falling off. My creative ways to hold my pants up was funny.

I finally bought new pants, size 8 & 10 off the clearance rack because I knew they'd be too big soon. But the doctor to me I'd lose a few more sizes and not by too many clothes. So I held onto those for as long as I could.

I was pleasantly surprised that when I reached my goal weight, I went shopping & couldn't believe I could wear xsmall & small tops along with size 2 & 4 pants. What a revelation. I felt good.

I still feel good & still can't believe how slim & sexy I look & feel. It did take some time to embrace it, but I did & I love the new me.

[Catherine707 253]

920Amy, I am dealing with this same issue. I know I have lost 100 pounds and have dropped a bunch of sizes, but when I look in the mirror, I still feel almost as fat as I was when I started. I am over halfway to my goal, but my head just hasn't caught up yet. I try to not let it get me down each day and I figure that sooner or later it will all balance out and I will feel like I look!

Good luck in losing those last few pounds!

[kj44 215]

920Amy, I am dealing with this same issue. I know I have lost 100 pounds and have dropped a bunch of sizes, but when I look in the mirror, I still feel almost as fat as I was when I started. I am over halfway to my goal, but my head just hasn't caught up yet. I try to not let it get me down each day and I figure that sooner or later it will all balance out and I will feel like I look! Good luck in losing those last few pounds!

I am at my 81 lb lost mark. A little more than halfway to goal my problem is I don't really know what size I actually started at. I wore loose things so they stretched. Now the same jeans I've had for a while size 22 are finally too big. But I can still wear them even if a bit baggy. Bought one new pair about two months ago size 20. These fit but a bit loose. I get discouraged and can't wait for these clothes to actually be too big. I guess I still feel so big I don't acknowledge I've made progress. It's been so slow.

[lsereno 2,525]

Satisfaction comes from within. Anyone can find something to dislike about themselves. Train yourself to think differently. Catch those negative thoughts and stop to find something to praise. It's work, but it's worth it.

As for the rest, It's gonna take time for your mind to catch up to your body. At almost three years out and two years at goal, my clothes look normal to me now. I've learned to walk sit and stand differently. I still have things I don't like about myself, but so does everyone else on the planet.

Yes, I do wish I was young, beautiful, smart, rich and unbelievably kind. But I'm still me, just healthier, skinnier, older, and wiser.

Lynda

[Globetrotter 1,340]

lsereno is 100% correct, and all the above mentions of body dysmorphia are accurate. For the body though, I have found that weight lifting, making my muscles smooth and hard, along with yoga to lengthen and sculpt, helps a LOT with the sad misshapen state of our skins. I am also a firm believer in plastics being a part of our journey, it is reconstructive surgery after major trauma, IMHO.

[Roo101769 742]

I am in the same boat, although my journey is far from over. I have lost 75lbs to date and I have a very hard time adjusting to it. I stayed in my size 26W jeans forever because I didn't feel I was actually changing that much, until they about fell off me! I bought two pair of size 24W jeans not quiet two months ago. I figured they would suffice for a while too, as I have been losing weight at a slower pace.(IMO) Well early last week I actually had to go to the restroom and check what size jeans I had on because I thought I had grabbed the 26Ws by mistake.. Nope- the 24Ws are just getting too big! So I ordered three new pairs of jeans, two size 22W and a pair of 20W. I think my issue is I still see fat (and now sag) when I am naked. It is hard to process how much less fat there is when all I see is rolls. As it was said before, I didn't see the fat when there was 316lbs of it either. Ok- I knew I was fat. But it was hard to "see" it, unless I saw pictures of myself. Easy problem to solve, just didn't take pictures!!! LOL So now I do try to take selfies a little more often. It isn't vanity, it is my way of showing my mind that my body IS changing. For me it is a slow process of change and acceptance.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Thanks to my extra skin, I am still in a size 16 pants that are only a little loose, even though I weigh 165 lbs. Technically I can squeeze into a size 8 trousers but of course it looks simply hideous with the lower moose nose below my belly button :/

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

During my "getting to goal" phase - you know, the last 20-30#, i spent quality time at stores like Ross Dress for Less. i constantly bought clothes that were too big - good thing they were cheap. It was my EX who more than a year ago graced me with his presence on a shopping trip to Marshalls that encouraged me to try on the 8s.... and who knew? They fit! Those same slacks fall off me now, thanks to plastics and continued reshaping by working out... and I am more in 6s (except for a certain store which I need 2-4 which is ridiculous).

Anyway, I encourage you to drop into a store like that every once in a while, be brave, try on some things that might look too small on the hanger. It is a process that takes time, but I even found taking photos of myself in those clothes helped me "believe".

Now, I have a pretty good eye for what fits me. It is funny that some of my friends will say I am tiny when I know that I weigh more then they do and I am in a similar if not bigger size. I currently weigh about 145-148 range and my best friend says I look like I weigh 130 - it is smoke and mirrors and dressing for my shape.

What they are responding to is #1 massive change from where I was (3X/26W) and #2 That I look fit and more or less proportionate. I have come to realize that it isn't about the size of clothes you wear, it is about your overall "look" that makes a difference. Find the shape of clothes that flatters your figure type... we are all different. I learned alot from watching "what not to wear" and then just practicing the ideas.

Let me give you a specific example. My profile pic right now is taken right before heading to work cocktail party. I tried on about 30 dresses and picked one that met the appropriate catagory and that I thought was also flattering. All my girlfriends that were there were all admiring each other (I was too!). One of them said to me "I tried on that same dress and it made my butt look huge!" I immediately said, "oh no, do I look like I have a fat a$$???" They were all like..."no no no, on you, it is just curvy sexy". See, i carry more size on my upper body so something that gives me hips is curvateous where as someone who carried more weight on their lower body would not find it as flattering. I had positive comments from more than my gfriends too so I think I hit the mark on that particular purchase. I used to shy away from things that were "hippy" but they actually flatter me so who cares if it makes me look a little fuller if the overall look is better?

These are the things to learn about the self and really practice with different shapes of clothing to maximize. Even now, I prefer dresses over slacks for work and alot of that is my history of needing to hide that extra belly skin which was much easier to disguise in a dress. Now that I have a flat belly I don't have that excuse, but, pants are still just fussier to fit in my opinion. I tend to like jeggings or skinny jeans and that seems to suit me pretty well. I wear boot cut for horseback riding but for going out and about... skinny jeans with boots is just a better look for me - I have heard this feedback from friends too.

Anyway, dismorphia takes a long time to change, but it does eventually happen.

what took even longer for me was to get over my face dismorphia. i really really really hated how my face looked after weight loss. People told me I was crazy and now... with time... I agree with them. I like how I look just fine. The cause of my face dismorphia is the last time I saw cheekbones I was in my early 20s and i think I was just a tad shocked at finding out that I have a late 40s face under all that fat. Oh well, it is who I am so I am embracing it... just glad to have cheekbones and to be able to actually see my eyes again! All those features were buried in the fat for many years.

[Swimmer 199]

I'm over two years out and been at goal for a year. I now wear I size 2 or 4 and still think I look thick. I think it's just how it's always going to be with me. I even have Drs calling my thin and I simply can't see it. I never dreamed I'd be this size and still swear every time the pants won't fit and yet they do. It's a mind game.

[Catherine707 253]

Thank you Swimmer and CowgirlJane for sharing your experience! I knew I wasn't alone in this struggle, and it is really helpful to hear your thoughts and ideas. That is why this website is so helpful for everyone pre and post surgery!