I JUST WANT TO EAT IM DEPRESSED AND STALLED

[tearin taryn 4]

Finally I joined this forum because I need others help I had surgery January 30,2014 I'm three weeks two days out I have lost nearly 30lbs in two weeks ( not sure from where yet lol) but I see my hubby my kids eat and I just want to eat but all I have is Water water water! I need recipes I'm over broth , Soup, and yogurt!! I'm so depressed and already had severe depression and bipolar before surgery! I feel alone and weather doesn't help and I don't want to fail at this I'm tired of failing!!!!! But all I want is to eat, quit crying, and lose even a lb or two but all week stuck at same and I don't eat ugh

[Meintraining 104]

Hello tearin. Congrats on your 30 lb weight loss. I had surgery Jan 28, 2014 and I'm having a hard time too. I feel like I've made a mistake. We just had a death in the family and it has been very hard to sit with family ( most don't know about my surgery) and not eat. A group of us went out to eat and I just sat there. I got invited to girls night tonight to have Mojito's or some kind of mixed drink and I didn't even answer the phone calls. This has effected every aspect of my life. My daily life, my social life. Do you want to hear the worst part of all. Not only does my life that used to be active and full consist of sitting at home as a recluse but the biggest kicker of all is I've only lost 9 lbs. I am devastated. All this no food no nothing and I don't even have a thing to show for it. How my body can sustain itself on a Protein Shake, yogurt, low fat pudding and a cheese stick is beyond me. I'm sorry for not bring uplifting which is what you need right now but sometimes I just gave to be real. Hang in there and feel free to vent. I know it's hard but thank goodness you at least have a payout for all this work.

[tearin taryn 4]

I say every other day I made a mistake but everyone around me or friends who had this to are 10-11yrs out and say hang in there so I am going to try and I'll try to be ur rock and tell u hang in there to guess losing weight better than gaining right?! I'm sorry about the loss in ur family !! I was asked to go out with friends to but make up tons of excuses y I can't , my depression got do bad I missed my sons game over my own self pity but I felt worse missing do haven't since but my social life is also non existent I sure hope urs goes better! I to don't understand how we aren't sticks by not eating lol but hopefully soon we both can be where we want! Let's do this for each other and ourselves!!!

[Meintraining 104]

Tearin sounds good to me. I originally wanted to reply to uplift you and you uplifted me. I just couldn't help being real when I responded because I'm sitting here in the same funk. This too shall pass we have to tell ourselves. If I don't start losing I'm going to just start eating little bits because the pain for me is not worth the results or lack thereof. My friend tells me many people go through this in the early stages. Hopefully we can look back on these posts from a much better place. I can try to be your rock too!!! Thank you :-)

[Sallyawbc 46]

Tearin and Mel, Please go through the other posts, at the top put in search "depression" and you will find toms of people who have or do feel the same way. The depression, mood swings and crying are NORMAL!!!!!!!! Your body is going through tremendous changes even tho you don't see them. Everyone losses at a different rate, give it time. When you do not give your body the usual amount of calories it goes into starvation mode and holds on to everything it can which is which is why you can go without food for 3 weeks before your organs shut down. We did this for a reason, we have dieted and had plateaus, gained instead of lost. Please don't beat yourself, there are tons of people here that have gone thro the same thing you are going thru!!

[tearin taryn 4]

I will definitely be ur rock and u mine we had surgeries so close we r exactly in same spot and I heard ( repeat heard ) that two Protein Shakes a day and crackers will help jump start the plateau we r on so I'm gonna try that tomorrow! My grandma in a month only lost 18 In a month but within a year lost 125 lbs so we WILL DO THIS ( I'll be better once I get happy pills too lol) I did not expect this depression to be so bad did u? I need to head go bed my eyes are heavy and I'm Taryn btw ( like Aaron but with a T) night Hun and chin up and I'll do same and FYI u have helped and please always be real

[tearin taryn 4]

Thank u Sally seems I need to keep reading these instead of dr notes cuz my notes didn't mention all this and thru everything I saw dr 20 min and maybe 5 before surgery so I did most this by reading actual documents but not what others go thru THANK U

[esskay77 785]

For me, setting expectations really help and I have to say that the docs don't set the expectation that we have plateaus at various stages. I'm also at a plateau and called the nut and she just keeps saying you're doing everything right, just keep it up. Not very helpful, though probably true. But once I found this list, I found out that it is completely normal and expected to plateau at this stage and later at other stages. Just like someone else above stated--your body is going into starvation mode and is trying to hang onto everything.

Is there any particular reason you aren't telling any friends/family about your surgery? Not judging, just asking. I was wondering if that would take the pressure off you if they knew. THat way it wouldn't seem odd if you went out to dinner but didn't eat much. Most places have Soup or mashed potatoes or edamame (not that that is so wonderful but it's doable).

I, myself, haven't told everyone about my surgery but I have told some of them. I don't go into a lot of detail with all of them so they don't always understand. I do have to look online at the menu ahead of time to see if there is anything I can eat. My plan has been that if there isn't, I'll still go and just enjoy their company and not eat. Or maybe have an herbal tea. Luckily it hasn't come to that yet.

I think that even though you feel depressed and are crying, you need to just laugh at it because it is NORMAL! lol. Again, if you knew you would go through this stage, you could have dealt with it much better. Again, setting expectations.

This list has been great and glad you reached out. We are all here to support each other and all have a shared experience.

Take care

[music1618 879]

I have good news and bad news news:

Good news - you are 100% normal and right in track

Bad news - it will get worse before it gets better. You have a few more stages to go through and your head is not done torturing you.

Stage :

1 - what the hell did I do

2 - first stall - usually hits around the first month - people usually freak out a little during this stage. No it does not mean you have failed

No it does not mean you are done losing weight

No it does not mean you are a failure

3 - what the hell did I do stage - again

4 - stage 3 is closely followed by raging hormones. You feel like you are a pubescent teenager. Crying at everything and feeling in the mood for a little "fun" ten minutes later. Please be careful during this stage as we become very fertile.

5 - finally hit your groove. Once you survive all those stages in the first 6 weeks you realize you got this and can get through everything! Oh and that's about the time you get to go shopping!

[Meintraining 104]

Taryn thank you for the story of your grandma losing 125. I'm a few days shy (we both are) of the 4th week. I'm at 9 lbs. I think that's what sends me over the edge more than anything. I go on my pity pot and wonder why me? I have to believe I too will eventually lose like she did. Maybe deep down I know that's not going to happen for me so if somehow I can change that thought. Thank you for valuing being "real". Like you said we will get through this!!!!!!!!! The lady at the Vitamin store told me if your eating very little carbs it can throw your mood completely out of whack. So it's not some failure to feel depressed its a real thing as you already know from before. Do you have an appointment soon? Oh I will def start 2 Protein Shakes a day. I'm already soooooo sick of the taste but if it's going to help I'm all in! Today's a new day! Thank you so much.

Edited February 23, 2014 by Meintraining

[Meintraining 104]

@ music. Thank you for sharing the stages. I just hope I get to go shopping at the end of them.

[Meintraining 104]

For me, setting expectations really help and I have to say that the docs don't set the expectation that we have plateaus at various stages. I'm also at a plateau and called the nut and she just keeps saying you're doing everything right, just keep it up. Not very helpful, though probably true. But once I found this list, I found out that it is completely normal and expected to plateau at this stage and later at other stages. Just like someone else above stated--your body is going into starvation mode and is trying to hang onto everything. Is there any particular reason you aren't telling any friends/family about your surgery? Not judging, just asking. I was wondering if that would take the pressure off you if they knew. THat way it wouldn't seem odd if you went out to dinner but didn't eat much. Most places have Soup or mashed potatoes or edamame (not that that is so wonderful but it's doable). I, myself, haven't told everyone about my surgery but I have told some of them. I don't go into a lot of detail with all of them so they don't always understand. I do have to look online at the menu ahead of time to see if there is anything I can eat. My plan has been that if there isn't, I'll still go and just enjoy their company and not eat. Or maybe have an herbal tea. Luckily it hasn't come to that yet. I think that even though you feel depressed and are crying, you need to just laugh at it because it is NORMAL! lol. Again, if you knew you would go through this stage, you could have dealt with it much better. Again, setting expectations. This list has been great and glad you reached out. We are all here to support each other and all have a shared experience. Take care

Thank you esskay :-)

I live in a small town. I've seen others have surgery and comments have been brutal. I'm trying to avoid that especially since losing weight for me is so difficult. I didn't tell a lot of family members because they also would all have something to say. I'd rather have privacy. I had the lap band for 7 years and it took me all 7 years to lose 50 lbs. people would say to me, "didn't you have wls"? As if to say how come your still fat. So imagine having gastric bypass and almost a month out and no noticeable weight loss. Just my nightmare come true. I hear all the time it's normal to have plateaus etc but I don't know anyone that has lost so little weight. Oh well, in due time. Thank you for taking the time to write. It was helpful :-)

[esskay77 785]

I totally understand. I've had those looks that show that people are wondering why I'm not immediately skinny! So I get it. It's one of the reasons that I also am not telling everyone. I don't need the pity looks or the comments. Most of the time I just say I'm on a doctor-prescribed diet to get my health under control--cholesterol, sugar, blood pressure, that sort of thing. People don't get too nosy and it's not a lie exactly. lol But you need to do what is right for you. I grew up in a small town so I get how people talk!

[pookybear 284]

Finally I joined this forum because I need others help I had surgery January 30,2014 I'm three weeks two days out I have lost nearly 30lbs in two weeks ( not sure from where yet lol) but I see my hubby my kids eat and I just want to eat but all I have is Water Water water! I need recipes I'm over broth , Soup, and yogurt!! I'm so depressed and already had severe depression and bipolar before surgery! I feel alone and weather doesn't help and I don't want to fail at this I'm tired of failing!!!!! But all I want is to eat, quit crying, and lose even a lb or two but all week stuck at same and I don't eat ugh

I didn't read all the replies, but I definitely know how you feel. Surgery and recovery were nothing for me. The hardest part was going two weeks without being able to eat any real food, and still having to watch everyone around me eat. I had may days where I cried from frustration. Once or twice, I actually would chew something, then spit it out. Sounds gross, but there were times when the urge to chew something just got the best of me. I know it's not much help, but keep in mind that this period that you're in will last only a short time. You WILL progress, you WILL be able to eat more and more things, and it WILL get better. You made a positive change that will last the rest of your life. No great change comes without struggles. But making it over these hurdles will make you appreciate your efforts and changes that much more.

Edited February 23, 2014 by pookybear

[tearin taryn 4]

Thank u all so so much this forum in less than 24 hours already makes me feel better like I have lots of sisters that to me is great cuz I'm an only child lol and @music thnx for the stages alert I have hit the top 3 but I have tubes tied so fertile don't matter but I don't have sex drive yet some stated would happen but hubby wishes it would lol! I did have a my psychologist who emailed saying found someone to help depression and take my insurance so after my post op Monday which is a few weeks late I have depression dr Friday! Again THANK U ALL I HOPE TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC soon and help those later that r helping me now ! U all are wonderful in every way and I feel I can get past this ( I hope dang there goes my pessimist side lol)