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Yesterday, as I was getting dressed for a doctors appointment, I noticed that my favorite comfortable pants (my yoga pants - whole 'nother story - love, love, love yoga pants) were dangerously close to falling off my hips.....which was not the case just last week while stalling. Also, my favorite blouse just felt sloppy.

So, I put something else on, which ALSO felt strangely loose, but was not in danger of causing a social embarrassment. When I went to put my coat on, it very clearly felt like a stranger's coat. So then, I went to my storage closet and pulled out a wool coat that my boyfriend had bought me three years (and 50 extra pounds ago on my already obese body) for my birthday. It was still in the dry cleaner's bag from when I sorrowfully retired it when I could not button it up anymore.

Cautiously I put it on, and buttoned it up - with room to spare! OMG - how could my body change so drastically in one week, when I had just come out of an exasperating stall? This morning, as I am getting ready for another closet flush, I have figured it out.......my body has been changing all along. I just could not see it because of my fatty fathead mindset. This sleeve thing and diligent exercise are doing their work even if the scale tells a different non-parallel story. That heavy 53" belly that was throwing my balance and posture off, is finally shape shifting and shrinking.

Today, my mind is catching up with this amazing transformation that is happening to my earthly container.

Oh yeah, and get this......The aforementioned appointment was at the pain clinic. I have been going there every three months for three years to get lumbar epidural steroid injections for sciatica. Yesterday, as I was getting positioned on the table, as the doctor is going through the patient ID process, he looks at me, and then my paperwork, and asks if they sent in the right paperwork. Have you been here before? They had to make sure, because they can't just give these injections to anyone, right?

What is was, was that they did not recognize me. I explained it was for three reasons.

1. I was a redhead every other time I have been in there, but I am about to go through a drastic Hair loss event and decided to quit keeping up with my birth red, and just embrace the gray of my mature years as the new hair comes back in.

2. It has been 5 months since I have been in because I had weight loss surgery and my discs have behaved a little longer this time.

3. I have lost 46 pounds and my face is way thinner. (When all is said and done, I will have to replaced my drivers license picture)

Needless to say, I am stoked today. The sleeve has been so worth the inconvenience of having to treat my body and life like the precious gifts they are. Deny myself limitless carbs or deny myself inflammation and misery????? The choices are getting easier day by day. What a journey this is!!! It is not just about weight loss. I am discovering a whole new inside me who has been hiding behind a veil of fat and fear of rejection.

Did you see the news story yesterday about the woman who was expecting triplets, and when delivery time came, there was a fourth baby who had totally escaped both x-rays and sonogram? It was hiding behind the other three fetuses in the womb. That's as good an analogy as any, I guess. I suppose a lot of us have just been hiding behind our issues and insecurities and are just now coming into or own as the people we are meant to be. Folks, I am just so happy today. What a revelation and huge step in my progress. :)

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awesome story...CONGRATS!!!!

the mind can play such games with us! :(

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Ain't it just to awesome to be true... :)

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Great post!

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MissMac really 5 months since you have gone in to see your back specialist? This is really encouraging since i go to a specialist for my back as well 3x a wk before surgery. I wondered when I am cleared to go back to have therapy and have disc compression done if my new tummy can take the extra weight they place on you. Just hearing that you disc have been behaving is so exciting to hear!! Congratulations on all the wonderful health changes your going through too.

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