Question I received Yesterday

[Lady VS 1,147]

Okay so yesterday was President's Day and we had a workshop to attend. So my meeting was with other fourth and fifth grade teachers. So I ran into one of my old coworkers that used to work at my school. She hadn't seen me since I had my surgery over three years ago. She: "Wow! You've lost a lot of weight." Me: "Yes I did. 90 pounds." She: "What did you do?" Me: "I had surgery." (all excited and smiling) She: "You needed surgery for that?????" Okay so I felt like crap then said, "Yes, I had too much fat around my heart. It was a life or death situation. My doctor asked me if I want to live or die. So I decided to live." Then, I walked away politely by saying excuse me. This is the first time I felt well, I don't know how I feel. Maybe a little hurt. I wasn't expecting that reaction from her. She isn't small herself. I"m just venting here because I am still annoyed by it. I know I shouldn't be, but I am nonetheless.

[catfish87 3,471]

......So I decided to live." Then, I walked away politely......

Keep on living the good life now! Walk away politely.... Some people will just never understand....

Congrats on your success....never let anyone take that away from you.

JOB WELL DONE!!

[Steph W-O 75]

Forget about it.....and LIVE just like you said!!!

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

Maybe she was asking for more information in her way and she didn't know how, if she is a big girl her self , and when you told her your Doctor asked you , you want to live or die , then maybe she got scared and ran to phone or a computer to find out about wls lol just saying , remember some people don't under stand if they really haven't done any research so we need to educate them a bit if they ask and let them know we tried every diet in the world , but our tool helps us to know when to really say when, ,maybe she, was just surprised and didn't mean to hurt your feelings, so that's why she didn't ask more, I know for me the people that know me know not to ask me anything I don't want to share so unless I bring it up they don't ask lol.

Edited February 18, 2014 by Debbie3sons

[lisacaron 5,075]

Your a beautiful woman, and you have worked hard to be where you are! Shame on those who make others feel that they are somehow less. Don't let it rob you of your happiness, it has been hard earned and we all know it!

[SandyM 1,956]

Take it with a grain of salt. I've had people that looked at me funny as they backed away, but came back later to ask questions. To some, its just a very uncomfortable conversation. They can compliment you, but they really don't know how to handle the details.

[Lady VS 1,147]

Take it with a grain of salt. I've had people that looked at me funny as they backed away, but came back later to ask questions. To some, its just a very uncomfortable conversation. They can compliment you, but they really don't know how to handle the details.

Hmm, interesting observation, never thought of it like that. Thanks

[Lady VS 1,147]

Maybe she was asking for more information in her way and she didn't know how, if she is a big girl her self , and when you told her your Doctor asked you , you want to live or die , then maybe she got scared and ran to phone or a computer to find out about wls lol just saying , remember some people don't under stand if they really haven't done any research so we need to educate them a bit if they ask and let them know we tried every diet in the world , but our tool helps us to know when to really say when, ,maybe she, was just surprised and didn't mean to hurt your feelings, so that's why she didn't ask more, I know for me the people that know me know not to ask me anything I don't want to share so unless I bring it up they don't ask lol.

Maybe she didn't mean to hurt my feelings but I wish you could have heard the way she asked like having surgery is a disease or something.

[Bandista 7,466]

People can be very clumsy and they are nearly always self-absorbed. She was probably thinking about herself at that moment and her own issues. I think your comeback was perfect. Oh, and lucky lucky 4th/5th graders to have you as a teacher!

[mrsto 2,925]

Yes, I LOVE the come back. Perfect

When people ask how I've lost so much weight, I simply say "eat less, exercise more". End of story. And the reality is, that's exactly what we're doing, right? Aside from the small handful of people in my world who know, I keep it to myself. I don't really care what they think, but I don't have the time or patience to educate the ignorant. For many, even if they're obese, think that surgery is beyond drastic. Well, like you said.......you chose LIFE, and that's all there is to it.

Bravo to you on your success! WELL done

[Lady VS 1,147]

People can be very clumsy and they are nearly always self-absorbed. She was probably thinking about herself at that moment and her own issues. I think your comeback was perfect. Oh, and lucky lucky 4th/5th graders to have you as a teacher!

thank you

[garfield461 25]

It is hard not to feel angry or hurt by thoughless comments, no matter how long it's been. I have heard "so you took the easy way out" a few times and "why couldn't you just do it on your own, without surgery" for another. It has been six years now since I was banded and don't think I will run into anyone else who has not seen me since, but if I did and they said something similar it would still be hurtful. You have done great and it is not easy to just dimsiss these comments, but you know how successful you have been at this journey and fo every one of those thoughtless people, I am sure there have been many others who cheered you on.

[Lady VS 1,147]

It is hard not to feel angry or hurt by thoughless comments, no matter how long it's been. I have heard "so you took the easy way out" a few times and "why couldn't you just do it on your own, without surgery" for another. It has been six years now since I was banded and don't think I will run into anyone else who has not seen me since, but if I did and they said something similar it would still be hurtful. You have done great and it is not easy to just dimsiss these comments, but you know how successful you have been at this journey and fo every one of those thoughtless people, I am sure there have been many others who cheered you on.

Most definitely!!! Thank you for understanding. It's still very hard maintaining. It is not easy. food is a daily struggle for me. If I didn't have this band, I know I would be dead right now. I couldn't have made it this far without it.

[jerbear 17]

I understand how you feel. I get to a point I don't want to tell people I had WLS. I remember one day a friend of mine that lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers. We were together and someone made a comment about how much we had lost. She told them "she had surgery. I did it the hard way." I just explained that the band is tool and if I don't follow the rules I gain the weight back and I hurt inside :-(

[valarie kk 103]

This saddens me , not because I'm surprised by people and their remarks but because it upset you. You are always so supportive of everyone here and your goodness just shines through. Even though I have not personally met you just know you inspire me. So for every negative person out there just remember your a beacon of light for me and I'm sure many others