newlysleeved 4 Posted February 18, 2014 I know the Dr. And the seminars tells you that you will be emotional and have lots of different feelings. I thought I knew what to expect, but I am much more emotional than I thought I would be. The thing is I knew that I was making the incredible change, but I never thought that this was going to be as hard as it is on my husband. Taking care of me since my surgery has been a struggle for him. And he is so afraid that I am going to eat something that is not recommended for my transition to each phase. He is also afraid that something terrible will go wrong with my sleeve. I am worried to, but he is more so. I am not sure if the reason why he is so worried and frustrated because he has not read enough on the gastric sleeve or maybe I am not educating him well enough. Any thoughts? I wanted to go through this process for a lot of reasons, but one of my main reasons was for him so I can have a healthier life. I have found that we are bickering or arguing a lot more lately and it all comes down to this change. Will these emotions between us go away? All I know is at this point he makes me cry sometimes and I make him frustrated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katieTC 11 Posted February 18, 2014 That's sad that you and your husband are at each other at the moment. That won't be helping your recovery much, you need as little stress as possible. It's a very intense time and you are both going through your own emotional roller coaster. I was having trouble deciding weather to have the band of the sleeve. I was concerned about the extra cost and the sleeve being more extreme but I didn't like all the risk surrounding a band. My husband helped my chose the sleeve over the band by researching and looking on forums he thought it was a better opp as I did and help me make peace with the struggles in my head. Now he's right on side, he asks lots of questions and I tell him exactly how I feel (good or bad), he still looks into things about the sleeve like after care programs and things and he's really positive about the whole program. He lets me take the reins when it comes to my aftercare and just supports me with the things I tell him I need. You are very precious to your husband and this op is a very big deal to some people, I think some people really struggle to get their head around what happens next. Maybe if he reads some of the conversations on the forums and chats to a few people. I take my husband with me when I see my dietician or doctor if he wants to come. It helps him learn hearing things first hand. I'm sure your medical team wouldn't mind chatting over the phone with your husband to set his mind at ease and answer any if his questions. Hopefully the extra information will clear out the grey area for him. He may be feel a little useless and less frustrated. More knowledge of the procedure will help him feel confident when it comes to your aftercare. I hope you both start to see eye to eye soon and both start enjoying your new life together x x x 1 ElyQuint reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lapnicky 39 Posted February 18, 2014 I'm one week post op and going through the same thing. My boyfriend has been taking care if me but with my emotions and anxiety about something going wrong with myself has made extra tension. I'm an emotional roller coaster going through the same thing. I'm also going through some WTF did I do to myself??? I keep hearing this is the hell week and it will get better. 1 ElyQuint reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
danjslick 4 Posted February 18, 2014 I am just 4 weeks out and a emotional mess. Crying and suffering from fear and anxiety that won't be able to cope. Fear that I won't be able to ever eat again without experiencing nausea. I too am frustrated. I keep praying but still suffer from "stinking thinking". Has anyone else gone through this? Please help. 1 ElyQuint reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cangudz 27 Posted February 18, 2014 Its as if u wrote what wad in my heart and mind.....I just had this convo with my hubby last night and he did say..... he wouldn't know what to do without me he just wants me back to normal. He says I'm never Happy anymore I seem depressed and sad since the surgery so he's wondering if I did the right thing. Now I find myself trying to act upbeat around him do he won't feel bad. But I will say some days are better than others. I'm 2 weeks post OP tomorrow! We have to get through this..... it can't always be like this! 1 ElyQuint reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElyQuint 446 Posted February 18, 2014 My boyfriend was terrified that i was going to die. He would freak out, then I would freak out, then he would make pie and I would lose my ever loving mind and he would say that was proof that he was right and this was a bad decision. Then I'd throw him out and he would lose his ever loving mind. It was CRAZY around here. It was fear driven emotional mayhem. I too really didn't know how bad it would be. Six months later I am happy and healthy and he is thankful that I have a sex drive and take pride in my appearance now. We can hike together and I can help with the snow shovelling. Its hard when someone changes your life. Compassion will see you to the other side. It was tough putting my man through that but rather that than congestive heart failure, chemo or dialysis. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LindafromFlorida 1,542 Posted February 18, 2014 If you are acting like (or feeling) you are sick it will worry you and everyone around you. I was out shopping a week after surgery and feeling like a new person. I could not be more happy. Yes I still worry, but before sleeving I was depressed and hardly left the house. I think the winter doldrums might be a causation of some of the emotions felt here. I also read a lot of posts, and a common thread is about exercising any way you can and get that blood pumping. I am 67. I cannot do as much as most of you but I am so excited. BTW I gained my last 30 lbs. being on Prozac for depression, which made me more depressed. Good luck to each and every one of you. Linda Share this post Link to post Share on other sites