Stranded and P.O'd.

[Devana 0]

I am seriously ranting tonight.

We had a school spring arts performance at a local church known for it's good acoustics. The parents of the kids in my son's class were in charge of refreshments, and I was the one organizing it. Consequently, I was the last to leave the church, along with the teacher who locked up. I was rearranging stuff in my car and ended up alone in the parking lot.

My battery was dead. I put up the hood, got out my jumper cables and stood on the sidewalk, kind of waving them around, hoping someone would see me and stop.

After a few minutes, I was delighted when a man drove into the parking lot. However, rather than stopping by me, he drove on over to the church office doors. I went over and asked him if he could give me a jump. He said no and then asked if there was anyone coming to get me. When I said no he said that he couldn't help me, walked into the office and locked the door behind him. I knocked but to no avail.

I had to walk half a mile down a dark road to the nearest gas station to use the phone to call my husband who had already gone home with our son. When I got back, the fellow was gone. I believe he was the pastor.

I don't understand why he didn't offer to let me use the phone.

Ahh, writing about it has stopped me cussing, however.

[Victoriana 10]

Im glad you are ok, now, and if that was the pastor, he will get his and more some. I know however that a lot of people have keys to churches, just about all lay leaders and maintence people, and of course the music folks that practice at off times.

However, anyone who sees a stranded person in a church parking lot should definately help. That was not only rude but he put you in the path of real danger. I wonder how he would feel if something really bad had happened to you.

I would suggest that a call to the church office might just help the next person in your shoes. What a sad, sad, man that is to do that to you. I wish to say Im sorry for his behavior, as a Christian it puts a damper on all of us.

[Jachut 487]

You just never know - I remember the friend of a father stopped at the traffic lights and some girl came hysterically screaming up to the car window that her friend was being raped. Of course he got out and ran to help and was beaten and robbed by a gang of them waiting round the corner.

You cant be too careful. He may not have helped because he was concerned for his safety - I dont think it necessarily has anything to do with Christian spirit. If someone knocked on my door begging to be let in to use the phone, I'd leave the doors locked to be honest, and not let them in. Of course, i'd sit in side frantic that the person was genuine, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Its awful to be stranded like that, its happened to me before too but it was before the advent of mobile phones.

[Carlene 12]

If that was the pastor, I sure wouldn't be joining his church. What a jerk.

I understand the safety issue and all, but he could at least have offered to make a phone call for you.

[musicalmomma 1]

I gotta agree...even with the safety issue...he should have at the VERY least offered to call someone for you.

I would call or even write a courteous letter to the pastor of that church and tell of your experience. As Victoria said, many churches give a key to anyone in charge of a ministry at the church. But if you send a letter and it wasn't the pastor, he/she can find out who it was and deal with it and maybe even apoligize to you. I'm really sorry...that must have been a scary and frustrating experience!

[dezbus1 0]

Ok, this really gets my goat. If any one has a key to a church, I would think that they belong there and that they are members, very few church are going to give keys out to people who do not attend that chruch, I wounder did he have a bumper sticker on the back of his car or a key chain that had WWJD ? I see this all the time and these pepole do not do what they have been taught to do. For goodness sake it was a lady in the parking lot with the hood up and holding cables, not like she was going to tie any one up with them. This just frustrates me to no end. I guess this why I do not belong to any organized relgion.

[musicalmomma 1]

I see this all the time and these pepole do not do what they have been taught to do.

"these people"? I have to object. I do what I was taught to do. I would have helped if it were me and I have a key to my church. Most of the people in my congregation would have helped. You can't lump all churches and all Christians into one catagory of "these people". That's just as insulting as if I were mugged by a black man, saying "that's why I hate these people, they're all criminals". I doubt you meant to lump us all together, but just a word of caution not to lump us all together. We're not all two faced

[Carlene 12]

"these people"? I have to object. I do what I was taught to do. I would have helped if it were me and I have a key to my church. Most of the people in my congregation would have helped. You can't lump all churches and all Christians into one catagory of "these people". That's just as insulting as if I were mugged by a black man, saying "that's why I hate these people, they're all criminals". I doubt you meant to lump us all together, but just a word of caution not to lump us all together. We're not all two faced

I agree. We used to leave our church sanctuary open all day and until 6 or 8 in the evening, so people could come inside and pray, until a woman came in and shot herself on the altar. But I don't know anyone, period, who would not have come to your rescue. A true Christian certainly would not have left you stranded like that. The good Samaritan is not dead.....I hope.

[Devana 0]

Thank you all for tolerating my venting. I feel much better now, in the light of day. I wasn't angry at Christians or members of that church, just him. And I guess I was surprised that it would happen there of all places.

This is a good opportunity for me to practice what I preach: I can choose how to react to this. Last night I saw the situation in the worst possible light. The guy was a jerk and that was all there was to it.

However, today I'm doing what I've always taught my son to do when he encounters behaviour he doesn't like or can't understand: explore all the possible reasons for that behaviour. Maybe this fellow had an emergency that made a dead battery seem trivial and unimportant. Maybe, like Jachut suggested, he had a bad experience with helping someone and is now frightened.

In any case, I'm no longer angry.

[lisah25 3]

You just never know - I remember the friend of a father stopped at the traffic lights and some girl came hysterically screaming up to the car window that her friend was being raped. Of course he got out and ran to help and was beaten and robbed by a gang of them waiting round the corner.

You cant be too careful. He may not have helped because he was concerned for his safety - I dont think it necessarily has anything to do with Christian spirit. If someone knocked on my door begging to be let in to use the phone, I'd leave the doors locked to be honest, and not let them in. Of course, i'd sit in side frantic that the person was genuine, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Its awful to be stranded like that, its happened to me before too but it was before the advent of mobile phones.

I agree with the safety issue, but I would have sat inside and at least called someone to come help the person outside!

[juliegeraci 7]

Devana, what a jerk. I can't believe he did that to you.

[Daffodil 0]

Regardless of whether he was scared...he could have easily called the police for you. That man was inconsiderate and self-centered. How would he feel if this happened to HIS wife? Inexcusable, but unfortunately, not surprising in this "me" centered culture.

[juliegeraci 7]

I agree with Daffodil. I can't believe he left you stranded!

[Kat817 19]

Leatha, I live next door to some of the snobbiest people in town---they actually looked over the fence once, and ask me if my lawn mower was down---I told her no I was! They hire theirs done---I was single, and doing a lawn 4 times the size! She even ask me one day not to hang any laundry out on the line, that they were having a get together in the back yard, and it was embarassing! I was much easier to walk all over back in those days---she doesn't do that now!!

As for your experience Devana---that is horrible! Most churches have a pastor/parishoners committee or something similar. A quick call to the church secretary would be the way to find out. I would not do it in anger, but I would sit down, type out a detailed letter about what happen. How the man did not even call the police to help you! Explain to them, how that made you feel in regards to their christian attitude as a whole church---by the one persons actions. Then send it, not just to the church, but to the committee. Then they can sort it out, discuss how to handle things in the future. My Dad is part of a similar group, and they have talked about some of these issues. A local AA group meets at our church, and they occasionally have had a problem. As people have pointed out, it could have been any one coming in with a key, but they need to have the problem pointed out to them. As it is now, the only one in the church that knows about it, is the man who was such a jerk---I would make sure it was something they at least knew about as a church! Glad you made it safely home!!!

Kat

[lisah25 3]

Chivalry is definitely dead and ladies, I think it's our own fault. (Well, not mine, I prefer to be a woman.)

Me too!

I'm lucky, it's still alive in my neighborhood, even with a hubby. We have a wonderful neighbor who helps with the few things we can't do, and more then once he's come over to help me if he sees me come home with bags of groceries. Another neighbor is as helpful, and he always opens the car door for his wife then they leave to go somewhere.