5 Months Post Op and I am so far off path.. I need help. I don't know where to start?

[Heather Meyer 103]

Hey Vets,

So i used to weigh 315 pounds and I am now 5 months post op and lost 84 pounds. My problem: I have been off plan, off track, off everything. I have been very emotional and going through a lot and because of that, it has de-railed me. I am a recovering compulsive binge eater and I do attend OA but I haven't made it to meetings and I have been busy and I have gone off the deep end.

As i was losing weight, I began swimming every day, first to control pain and then to train to become a lifeguard. Once i became a lifeguard, I stopped going swimming , because I hit my goal of getting my lifeguarding certification and so i stopped exercising.

I used to eat really healthy, things like spinach on 1/2 whole wheat tortilla with crumbled goat cheese, Protein Shakes, 3 oz of chicken breast. I could eat pretty much anything without feeling sick. That's where it all went wrong. I realized I could eat things and it would not make me feel sick or give me a stomach ache. I have never once puked from eating too much or eating the wrong foods. I started eating everything. First it was popcorn, then Cookies, then pretzels, then cupcakes and and and...on and on it went. Nothing makes me feel sick...not greasy, not fatty..not sugary..nothing..I was relying on my stomach to make me feel really ill like it made others feel..and it didnt..Then..instead of it becomming about eating everything..it became about eating more...Now i can eat...like..10 cookies in a sitting...I can eat 1/2 bag of pretzels... I can eat 1 cupcake... I know this is way less then what i used to be able to eat..and yes.. eating chicken breast and fish and steak.. i can still only eat 3 oz..but the sliders..and Soup...i can eat lots..so ive been bingeing..to deal with the sadness I feel inside. Its been pissing my husband off. Instead of exercising, im sleeping.. Instead of not eating..im bingeing on 2 slices of pizza and snacking non stop and eating junk all the time...He sees me going back to how i used to be..no longer active..just eating and eating and eating...

I need help.. a lot of help. I don't know what to do? where to start back? I don't know how to get my restriction back? What do i eat? How do i go back to the beginning? How do i start losing weight? How do i stop bingeing? and eating junk?

Today so far... I have drank 1 Protein shake and drank 1 cup of sugar free tea. What else should i do? Do i go back to shakes for just a week? nothing else? do i eat protein like eggs? Help please.

[Jenny12 361]

Everyone has a different opinion about this. I'm 13 months post op now, but when I was about 5 or 6 months out I also found myself eating badly. I did for about a month and then said no more. I didn't know what else to do other than go back to Protein Shakes for two weeks. That's it, just Protein shakes. It was hard but I stuck to it for two weeks and then slowly started to eat protein again. This got me back on track. It got me over that hump and took me to goal and well beyond it actually. So, try that. Maybe it will work for you too. It was HARD though, so you just have to stay strong.

Edited February 17, 2014 by Jenny12

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

to start losing weight go back to basics as you were taught in your classes with the liquids / Protein shakes. Make an appointment with a Therapist that has experience with people and food addictions and especially someone who deals with WLS patients. Then get yourself into therapy, Your body can't be in the game unless your head is in the game. You have already admitted you need help, now go get it. In the mean time the rest of us are here and will be happy to talk out whatever problems you are having. You are not alone, we all have problems and understand how easy it is to turn to food. What is bothering you, what has pushed you so far off track?

[Richard Foor 655]

Unfortunately it is necessary to try to control the foods you eat because the sleeve won't do it for you, it is easy for the first couple months when the healing prevents you from eating to much. But now you have to make a conscious effort, I realize that is not easy especially when you are stressed, but I find that when i'm stressed I look at how much I have accomplished and how much I don't want to go back to the way it used to be. Good Luck.

[Roo101769 742]

Hi Heather...My name is Rhonda. I read your post and I can totally and completely relate to you. I am just shy of four months out and have been in a similar situation lately. I have found I can eat sliders, easily. It has messed with my head more than I think I want to admit. I can't say I was a compulsive overeater, but boy did I eat crap before. And lately I have been pushing the boundries hard. To the point I tell myself no more, but turn around and do it again. How crazy is that? It hurts my heart that I haven't had the control and strength I wish I had. But each day I get up with hope, hope to get back on track. I think I am going to try what the poster above mentioned, two weeks of Protein Shakes. Next week is my four month check up with my surgeon, so I expect to have further motivation. I have continued to drop weight even with my self sabotage, but nothing near what I could have lost had I done what I should have. I wish you the very best of luck in finding the help you need to push past your demons and find the inner peace you need. I hope to find the same..

[FishingNurse 1,210]

I think you know WHAT to do. But you need to figure out why you're sabotaging yourself. I would consider seeing a therapist, and start coming up with ways to self soothe other than eating. I have some similar behaviors but not quite as severe. Get back on track now before regain starts. You can do this!! Good luck and keep us posted.

[Escape_Pod 358]

I too struggle with sugars, carbs, and binge eating, so I feel your pain. I take a multi-pronged approach to getting myself back on track - whip out all the strategies you can come up with, the more the merrier. Here are the ones that help me:

(1) Take some time to really, really focus on why you want to get back on track. Ideally, every day. I find this helps me up my motivation in the face of stress or temptations. I often journal for a few minutes, jotting down all the reasons I want to get back on track, and all the reasons I don't want to eat the foods I shouldn't be eating. But whatever works for you - meditate, have a pep talk with yourself in the mirror in the morning, just take some time to really focus your mind on what you're working on.

(2) Get the sugar and carbs out of your menu. If your husband's frustrated seeing the path you're taking, hopefully that means he'll be supportive in removing the temptations. Get them out of the house. Stock up on good-for you foods. The first few days to a week will be the hardest, face that, and commit to getting through them, whatever it takes. Eat a little more veggies or Protein than usual if you need to, or have an extra Protein shake. You don't want to be combatting the sugar/carb cravings and hunger at the same time, so eat dense protein and veggies, snack on them if you need to. I'd vote for hard boiled eggs, or chicken breast, or something like that over a shake. Don't be afraid of some healthy fats to keep you satisfied.

(3) Have a strategy for combatting the munchies - get up and go for a walk, take three deep breaths, or distract yourself with something. Make yourself a cup of tea, or sugar free cider, or coffee, or whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn't have carbs or sugar. I chew a ridiculous amount of sugar free gum - it's a habit I need to break eventually, but at the moment it's working for me, and it beats the heck out of eating chocolate or cookies!

(4) Find a way to get some accountability. I track my food and exercise on MyFitnessPal, but if I'm eating badly I start to hide, so that doesn't work for me. Tell your husband, or a friend, or someone here what your plan is, and check in with them regularly. Or, join a support group. If OA meetings can't be worked into your schedule, find a group online. I just wrapped up a 6-week online accountability group on Facebook - we had to check in at least once daily, and it was a great group. Cost me $10 to participate, but I was entered in a drawing to win a pot of $$ (don't recall exactly what the pot was, maybe $75 - $90?). I didn't win, but it got me online every day, I got some support, I got to support others, and it helped with that focus thing.

(5) Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Got through snack time without eating bad? Got some exercise today? Made it through a whole day with no sugar? Whatever it is, Celebrate it. Do a little happy dance. Pat yourself on the back. Do a fist pump in the air and tell yourself you ROCK in the mirror. If your husband's the sort who will be supportive, tell him, and let him tell you how awesome you are. This is a really key element of building new habits, and it feels silly, but it really does work. Positive reinforcement is really important, and the scale can be a mean witch, so find another way.

You CAN do this! You've done it already, you just got derailed, but you can do it again.

[Butterflyhigh 504]

I agree with a previous poster who mentioned therapy. You are probably feeling really out-of-control, just the way you did when binging before the sleeve. It is like a total downward spiral in the emotional sense. There are reasons hidden very deep inside of you which causes you to seek out food even when you feel ashamed and disgusted with yourself for doing it. You said your sleeping a lot which sounds like depression. You've learned the sleeve is just a tool, it's not a cure. The "cure" comes from understanding yourself and why you are doing this and changing your inner self. So therapy and probably an anti-depressant will help halt the spiral and then give you the ability to change the direction you are heading.

Good Luck!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

5 months post op - lost 84 pounds. off plan, off track, off everything

Heather

you took a big, brave step by coming back to the board and reaching out for help

good for you

it can/is hard dealing with emotional situations/stress

i sympathize

unfortunately life if full of problems/stress that we all have to deal with

we must continue to follow eating correctly - don't let our emotions get the better of you/me et al

thats how many of us (me) gained weight (stress/problems = eating? )

No more

don't let hubby (or anyone else) get the best of you - don't give in to mean comments, vibes, expressions

you used to exercise, get back to it

you can eat lots of Cookies, pretzels, cupcakes without a problem???

Knock it off!!!

theres an expression on the board - "just because you can, doesn't mean you should"!!!!

wise words to live by in sleeveland

you were doing great - lost 84 lbs

thats terrific, take a bow

you know what to do, and you CAN do it successfully!!!!!

I would immediately go to your pantry ..........

toss "your cookies" LOL - pretzels, all that junk

right now!!!!!

you don't need/want any temptation..

to get a good "jump start" i would do Protein shakes/clear liquids for a week or so

you will lose some weight - and hopefully remember that great feeling of losing weight, and going for your goal of a healthier, happier, longer life

you/me/we were never told this was easy - you know its not

i know you can climb back on that wagon towards success

follow the rules with Protein first, watching your carbs, measuring et al, eating slowly, chewing thoroughly

Water rules are sooooo very important

stop drinking about 1/2 hour before you eat

never drink during meals

don't drink for 45-60 minutes after you eat

drink at LEAST 64 oz of Water a day

got all that??? - there will be a test

i'm sure you will pass with flying colors!!!!

measuring, keeping track of everything you eat and drink (exercise too) helps

ie My Fitness Pal

continue to come to the boards for support

"seeing" others here, discussing WLS is helpful

I know you can do it!!!!!

don't make me into a liar

remember, you've lost 84 lbs so far!!!!

woo hoo

good luck

kathy

congrats

Edited February 18, 2014 by proudgrammy

[swizzly 901]

GO TO YOUR MEETINGS. Period.

Exercise -- move, walk, swim -- do SOMETHING every day. Break out of the sadness through ACTION. Get yourself a Fitbit and make 10,000 steps every single day.

Do not eat ANY carbs whatsoever until you are back into a good head space, and then keep them very low. They are clearly trigger foods for you. Eat as much as you want of Protein, veg, good fats -- these will help you feel satisfied. But seriously, NO carbs at all for now -- you might be an addict and you need to not take your drug at all at least for now if not forever.

That's what I'd do anyhow.

[Jencovi 261]

Reaching out is a really good first step. You need to get in to counseling with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Then you need to go back to shakes. You have already gotten all of this advice. So you need to know why you have fallen back on these behaviors. It was ultimately a choice. Figure that out in counseling and you will be far better equipped to deal with the next tough time that comes your way. I wish you all the good things you deserve!

[Ballermom 803]

I agree you ve got a lot of good advice here. First you have done great so far . I say make another fitness goal since getting your lifeguard certificate help you to stay on track. Continue indoor swimming and or working out. I recently started back on my shakes and I'm working my way back to basics too. So, join me. Keep us posted. I agree reach out to therapy and find other support classes. You can do it. What are your goals, revisit them. At my psych appointment that I had to qualify for the sleeve. She said to me " you are already successful" and I say this too you. " you are already successful" so focus on the positive and go forward. I'm saying this to me first. What I like the most is getting out to games and events in a size 8/10 instead of my previous 22/24. What have you accomplished and what are your goals. Summer is coming too. We got this.

Edited February 18, 2014 by Ballermom

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Couple of things.

You have lost a massive amount of weight already. I personally went through emotional rollercoaster at that time and I think it is largely due to all the hormones being released from the fat into your body. Makes you a little more emotional and all that. Also, fat often serves as a protective layer and as it starts to shed, your emotional angst might be surfacing. Be gentle with yourself, but seek help if you are really feeling out of control.

Also, I am not sure why you had the idea that food "should" make you sick. All of us can eat anything... we have to make choices. Choices about what and even how much to eat. My saying is "just because you can, doesn't mean you should" - and frankly it applies to alot of things in life. I still work very hard to eat to "absence of hunger, not to the point of being full" Early on, I followed the NUT guidelines very closely. When I hit a long term stall at about 8-9 months out, I realized I needed to go lower carb and change things up exercise wise. I suspect guidance from a good nutritionalist would help you too. Not all of them are good by the way but it is worth trying.

food as an addiction is powerful. I used to think it was "all in my head" but i have learned there is a very significant physical component. when I eat "clean" - ie low carb, avoid sugars, no junky food - amazingly I don't crave junky good. for me personally, I would now say that it is 80-90% physical response to what I eat and maybe 10-20% "in my head"

You are in the phase of the journey where you are facing all of that and it isn't always easy - so seek support.

I would also say that your post would be even more responded to in the "post op" forum as the vets forum is really geared to people that are a year or more out and the challenges faced there.

Hang in there, don't give up - you have made amazing progress already and just need to find your way back on course to protect your losses and to continue making progress toward your goals. You can do this.

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

Oh my goodness, I felt like I was reading my own story.
Once I realized I could have things like sugar, rice, and bread it was no-holds-barred!!
I'm returning to the roots of WLS - going back to focusing on Protein and Water. Keeping water next to me at all times and taking sips constantly.
I am also an addict. I think we all are in some ways or another.
Keep us posted on how you're doing! I love the support and encouragement we get here!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Hi Heather, I really appreciate your questions to the Vets, just a note to let you know that this forum is only for Vets issues, by Vets. Under a year may post any questions in the General forum, and Vets will answer there. I am going to move this to the general Forum where you can get focused answers from us all. Congratulations on all the weight you have already lost, and best of luck in losing the rest. Thanks, Kim