How do you deal with lack of support?

[BandedBrunette481 310]

Generally speaking, everyone around me has been really supportive of my decision to get a LapBand. But, the farther along in my journey I get, the more I'm realizing a certain member of my family is doing a better job of pointing out the negatives and just generally discouraging me from things I feel excited about than giving me the support I need. So my question is, how do you deal with people who are bringing you down? Especially when it's close family members that aren't exactly open to having honest conversations?

Edited February 16, 2014 by BlissfullyBanded

[gowalking 10,790]

Does this person have weight issues? Often it's jealousy because you are doing something to change yourself while they are not. If it's not about that, you have a couple of options. You can bring this person to your doctor appointments so he/she can feel more comfortable that you are getting the finest care and doing what the doctor instructed. Or...if it's just a case of yanking your chain to upset or sabotage you...tell this person to shut up...that the comments are not appreciated and to stop them.

I know...easier said than done at times but if you can't actually say that, then just think it and try to ignore what is being said. Good luck!!

[B-52 7,113]

Interesting.....many people who tell other people about their surgery, also face those who have a negative view....

As far as your topic question, since no one knew about my surgery, other than 2-3 close family members, I gave always been on my own with no support.....other than my Dr and his staff....

[terrydumont46 1,954]

this person needs to be on the outside of your "of knows:". unless she is doing a lot of research and can back up her negative chatting than she is talking through her a..!! I promise i'm not going to say it. Sometimes we are so excited we expect every one to be there with us but they are not. they are afraid of the unknown and this is something they are not sharing with you. either talk with her and offer her your friendship so she can return hers or move away from her. good luck this is a sore topic with a lot of wls patients.

[Jack 855]

Not everybody WILL be 'supportive'....some will be opposed because they are concerned & truly want 'the best' for you....others because they are losing control of YOUR life and they didn't give you permission to do WLS....while others are either just ignorant or evil, take your pick.

Some can be converted with deep & earnest discussion.

Some can be converted by observing the positive that arises from your actions.

Some are hell-bent to make the absolute worst by invention or outright lies.

Some lack the emotional capacity while others lack the intellectual facilities to understand exactly what you have actually done.

In any case, not one of them actually gets a vote, so what they think isn't all that important.

I made a few conversions in my own group, of a few who really were ill advised about what "Lap Band" was 10 years ago. And a few chose to remain convinced they had all the answers.

Reletively few will be unsupportive unless they or a someone close to them had bad experience with some procedure they confuse with the Band.

If that person is important enough to you, sit down in private and have a personal discussion.

Edited February 16, 2014 by Jack

[mrsto 2,925]

I agree with all posters above......as far as the reasons some people are not supportive. That's exactly why I do not talk about my surgery. The only people who know, is my family and about 3 close friends. My best suggestion for you is, do not discuss the surgery with your sister. Only talk with those who support you. It's so difficult to deal with the negativity, when you yourself are going through a humongous life change.

I'm at a point where I really don't care what people think. I'm so happy with my decision, and my progress. Even though I don't care, I don't discuss it, because I don't have the time or energy to educate the masses. Nor do I have the energy to defend my position. The people who know are very supportive and thrilled with my success. When others acknowledge how much weight I've lost....and ask how I did it, I simply say "eat less, exercise more". End of story.

Edited February 16, 2014 by mrsto