Girls: After you lost weight do strangers give you more attention?

Marimaru · April 17, 2007

Walking down the street, I used to get honked at, had nasty things hollared out of windows, nasty looks. Now, I get honked at, whistled at, etc. Not really any more or less than before, just different. What irritates the CRAP out of me is knowing that it's the same people that do both. If someone only honks and waves it still trips me out to see a smile instead of a scowl.

I have noticed that grocery clerks ask if I need anything ALL THE TIME, whereas I couldn't find one to save my life before. Here I thought the stores were teaching there staff better customer service. HA! I do like this kind of attention much better than the guys that hollar when I am walking down the street.

I honestly used to think that I'd love it if someone whistled at me, because it would be flattering, but it honestly just pisses me off because I know it's the same (type of) guy who would have yelled "moo" another time.

BJean · April 17, 2007

Shabby treatment by clerks in stores is what really irritates me. It isn't so bad now that I've lost 40 lbs., but when I go shopping with my petite daughter I may as well be a slab of beef standing there. I'm totally ignored and they are all smiley and sweet to her. I've often wondered if she notices it and is embarrassed by it.

liberty2003 · April 18, 2007

I just recently split up wmy BF (about 3 weeks ago) and now that i am single again i am loving the attention :rolleyes: ..it makes me feel good when i see a guy looking my way. I only have 44.5 lbs to go and then i am getting a Tummy Tuck and maybe a breast life ..I can't wait.

~Kristen

neveragain · April 18, 2007

I just have to say that there are some times that I'm ashamed to be associated with the seemingly brain dead male population. I can't say that I can ever relate to feeling like a piece of meat, per say, but I have been in at least one relationship that ended because of my weight, so I kind of got the other end of the stick, I suppose. I'm not going to sit here and say that every woman I've ever looked at, I was wondering if she wanted to be friends, but I CAN say that I've never rudely whistled or yelled at an unsuspecting woman. It's just useless and tasteless.

Please don't take this as I'm putting myself on a pedestal. I've done stupid things in my life just like everyone else. I'm just agreeing with the girls that say that some guys are neanderthals. I'm just happy I was raised to treat women with respect...

Jachut · April 18, 2007

I think we ALL look at people we think are attractive. That's fine, in fact its kind of nice when you become aware that you've caught someone's eye. Its the whistling and yelling out comments etc that make you feel like a piece of meat - and the assumption that if you're out in public doing something like jogging then you're somehow putting yourself out there to be treated like that.

She Smiles · April 18, 2007

I couldn't agree more with Jacqui. How on earth does jogging down the street dripping with sweat and looking terrible warrant a whistle or horn honk? I'm exercising, so what? Is my exercising really the highlight of some guys day?

kyethra · April 18, 2007

I've noticed that I get less attention now that i have more weight. It hasn't bothered me as before the attention was always annoying. And even if it wasn't bad attention I still wouldn't know what to do with it or whether or not someone was being serious potentially (I'm not good with stuff like that) so I just prefer no attention especially as I am happily married.

Sometimes I have to remind my DH to slow down and walk with me though instead of walking too fast and walking ahead of me-- this is something he tends to do and it really annoys me at times. He is getting better at it as time goes by, but progress could be faster. One time, a couple of years ago, we were on vacation, and he was doing that. And I noticed this other guy was sort of following me. But I thought maybe he just happened to be walking the same way. Then as I was going down a couple of stairs with my hand on the railing he put his hand on top of mine and asked if I would be interested in going up to his room with him or something like that. I wasn't completely listening to tell the truth, I mostly was freaking out. I most emphacatically said no and that was the end of it. Then maybe a minute later DH (well he was my boyfriend at the time) noticed I wasn't with him. He asked if I was talking to that guy. So I told him what happened. LOL! Well that got him to stick right by my side, holding my hand, arm around me, etc.

Marimaru · April 18, 2007

neveragain; There are guys out there who don't do that obnoxious stuff. And, there are women out there that give us women a bad name, so I think all in all we end up even, lol.

Noticing that I've caught someone's eye can be nice, and it IS nice when someone makes a point to say "hi" or something polite like that. The frustrating part is that it happens more, the 'better' we look.

ALTHOUGH; I have to agree with the the idea of putting off a different vibe. When I was at my highest weight and went into a store or whatever, I didn't want people to notice my big ass, or my chins, or whatever, and I probably put off a vibe that said as much. Now that I've lost weight I WANT people to notice that and see it (even if a stranger who wouldn't know me from Jane wouldn't have ever known I was fat)!

HeatherO · June 21, 2008

I think we ALL look at people we think are attractive. That's fine, in fact its kind of nice when you become aware that you've caught someone's eye. Its the whistling and yelling out comments etc that make you feel like a piece of meat - and the assumption that if you're out in public doing something like jogging then you're somehow putting yourself out there to be treated like that.

I agree 100%. I notice people who are attractive and I notice people who are unatractive. I have always been a bit of a people watcher. I think it is just my nature. It happens even more when I am in an airport, foreign countries, etc. It is human nature, and other than being very discreet, I still catch myself doing it.

As far as staring goes, most of us have the courtesy not to do this, or make catcalls or funny statements.

As far as being noticed is concerned,nothing compares to time I spent in Turkey. If I go in a shop, or on the bus, or walk the streets it seems like 8 heads in 10 will turn and stare at me openly. When I mean openly, there is no diverting the eyes if I look back. It is completely disconcerting to be noticed in this way. I was told the reason this happens in smaller cities is because I have red hair, blue eyes and whiter than white skin. They can see I am a foreigner from a mile away.

I get a lot more attention now from everyone. I now blend in as a much more normal sized person. Some of the attention is good, some of it is bad. It bothers me most when I am at the park running or biking and a passing car occasionally has someone yelling something out. I want to say something or do something to get them to have a little respect but in reality I usually blush down to my toes if you know what I mean.

People are friendlier, more open, strangers talk to me more. Men are paying a lot more attention. I am not used to being approached by men I don't know. Even yesterday when I was at blockbuster I noticed a man kept looking at me, finally he came over to me and said "Are you Irish?" I could tell it was just an opening to try and get a conversation going, but instead of feeling flattered by the attention, I just felt irritated and quickly broke away. What kind of come on line is that anyone, are you Irish? That is a new one for me.

Really, I don't even know how to feel about all this attention. In some ways it does irritate me that I had to lose weight for people to make more of a point to try to speak to me. On the other hand, there are definite benefits to invisibility. If I wasn't married, perhaps I would feel more flattered by the male attention but really it just annoys me right now.

Ang1982 · June 27, 2008

I used to be one of those idiots. And when I got married I relized somthing changed. mainly cause I felt I was cheating on my wife by doing this so I stoped, that was 10 yrs ago. I'm still tempted to look But for the most part I have taught myself to look the other way.

I have to say that good on you, but this reminds me of a Klondike Bar commercial.. the one where the guy and his wife are sitting at a table outdoors facing each other and a woman is walking by towards the man (the back of the mans wife) and he keeps looking at his wife and talking to her, then it breaks to the "a beautiful woman walks by and this man didn't even lift his eyes of his wife" or something like that "he deserves a Klondike Bar" -always thought that was cute.

...He asked if I was talking to that guy. So I told him what happened. LOL! Well that got him to stick right by my side, holding my hand, arm around me, etc.

Hahah that's funny - that made me lol at work.

I have to say that I have never really noticed adverse reactions from people or have never had the honks and mean comments made from people in cars. But to that extent maybe because Ive been heavy my entire life I do not know the opposite or what kind of service I am supposed to get.. Will be fun to find out!

ilse72 · June 27, 2008

BJean, I can totally relate! A few years ago, I was shopping for clothes for a cruise. I went in one store and not one salesperson seemed to be available but they sure all rushed to help the size 2 that walked in behind me! After 10 minutes, I was so miffed I left the store, went two doors down to another store and was immediately asked if I needed help. Made that salesgirl's day...spend $1200! Just because we are packing some pounds doesn't mean those pounds don't extend to our wallets! And those pounds do not mean we are unworthy of someone's time, attention or respect.