Mother @*#er!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

And this is exactly why, my mum knows the sum total of bugger all

[dawalsh 919]

Hey, I had lapband surgery and NEVER told my daughter ( more for fear I might fail at WLS). Anyway, she calls me up and says she's having gastric sleeve surgery and the mother in me takes over and ask if she knows what she's doing and yes I break down and tell her I had WLS. Well, I got blasted by my daughter for not telling her and what if something happened to me. Mom's worry about their children and I would never say somebody died from it, however, the concern a mother shows her child is really a form of love I guess.

[Inactive Profile 104]

I had typed a whole thing but canceled it, if you will message me i would like to talk.

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

Have you shown her some statistics on WLS vs death from co-morbidities?
She's worried about you - mom's worry. Some of us a little too much (I'm a helicopter mom myself ...)

Just think, though - this time next year you'll be 100 lighter and she'll see how GOOD a decision this was for you!

[DaddyMarie 291]

<p>Have you shown her some statistics on WLS vs death from co-morbidities?<br> She's worried about you - mom's worry. Some of us a little too much (I'm a helicopter mom myself ...)</p> <p>Just think, though - this time next year you'll be 100 lighter and she'll see how GOOD a decision this was for you! </p>

I have not showed her statistics! But that's a great idea! Do you have any suggestions for web sites?

100 lbs lighter?!? That's hard to imagine! It seems like a dream!

[JEM352 25]

My wife was convinced I would die also. I asked her wat if I drop dead of a heart attack or stroke.

My MD finally convinced me that I was a walking time bomb and I better do something about losing weight.

I did know someone younger then me that passed during gastric bypass surgery and a friend and a cousin both had serious complications also.

I was sleeved in November and am down early 70lbs.

[lynn2win 142]

That's why I am telling my family day before..I don't need the heartache

[DaddyMarie 291]

My wife was convinced I would die also. I asked her wat if I drop dead of a heart attack or stroke.<br> My MD finally convinced me that I was a walking time bomb and I better do something about losing weight.<br> I did know someone younger then me that passed during gastric bypass surgery and a friend and a cousin both had serious complications also.<br> I was sleeved in November and am down early 70lbs.

Ok...... Why did the person you know "pass" during GBS? And what were the "serious" complications your friend and your cousin suffer and why?

[Frank Tardiff 18]

My mom is so crazy.... She keeps telling me "what if you die?" And then today calls me at work just to tell me that her friend told her of her friend who died on the operating table having surgery.... Then proceeds to say, "if you die I will kill myself and haunt you!" Really? Dramatic much? Well it pissed me off so much that I hung up and just started bawling. I cried cause she frustrates me, I cried cause does she think that I have not thought about death and dying? I'm scared Shitless to do this!!! I don't need her being an a*****e and making it worse! The end

Presurgery I was 440 pounds now I'm 210 pounds. Seven days after my surgery I had an upper G.I. bleed and bled out in my sleep, somehow I woke up after losing two units of blood. People still ask me "Frank would you do it all over again I mean you almost died from the surgery"

Yes yes I would in a heartbeat, for three years I confined to the house with leg paralysis due to spinal stenosis. I would've really been dead in a few years, and now I don't even need back surgery, my rheumatologist is baffled at how the Calcium buildup in my spine receded and four years later shows no signs of regrowth. We are all selfish like your mom in some way shape or form, in the end she's your mom, forgive.

[JEM352 25]

My wife was convinced I would die also. I asked her wat if I drop dead of a heart attack or stroke.

My MD finally convinced me that I was a walking time bomb and I better do something about losing weight.

I did know someone younger then me that passed during gastric bypass surgery and a friend and a cousin both had serious complications also.

I was sleeved in November and am down early 70lbs.

Ok...... Why did the person you know "pass" during GBS? And what were the "serious" complications your friend and your cousin suffer and why?

He got an infection while in the hospital went septic and never recovered.Same deal with the other 2, they both got infections has to be readmitted to the hospital but were lucky enough to have the antibiotics work for them.3 different people, 3 different hospitals. It frightened me away from GBS for 10 years.

[gmanbat 5,889]

And then today calls me at work just to tell me that her friend told her of her friend who died on the operating table having surgery.... Then proceeds to say, "if you die I will kill myself and haunt you!"

Ok, a dead person haunting another dead person. I am trying to think of a movie where something that silly was portrayed. "The Frighteners" with Michael J. Fox?. A serial killer ghost was killing people and slicing up other ghosts with a scythe. Of course, they were already dead but became another form of dead...or something. R. Lee Ermey was defending his graveyard with a machine gun until the bad ghost cut him up.

Anyway, hope everything turns out ok for both of you. My mother died before I got my surgery. She was always concerned that I got enough to eat...even when I was 50-100 pounds over weight..

[memebear 44]

I think you love your relatives IN SPITE OF THEMSELVES. We don't choose them. Good luck and wear ear plugs.

[katesuccess 990]

SOunds like maybe your mom is afraid of you changing and the place she imagines she holds in your life being unwelcome. Is she one of those who 'loves you' with food or with constant 'tips' or comments on how you 'look bad'? If you no longer are heavy, then her oh-so-helpful comments will no longer have a target. Some do that 'you won't need me any more' thing, or 'you'll move on without me' nonsense. It's possible she's even cranked up thinking that as long as you're not fully healthy weight-wise, she doesn't have to work on her own problems. Sadly, that's a really common one.

But in all of this sh*t from her, remember its HER crap and not yours! Part of me is just passive-aggressive enough to suggest resonding "Thanks for the TLC mom, I knew you'd come through!" and hang up. It wouldn't help, but good for you hanging up instead of listening to more. Sheesh - so sorry you're having to put up with this! Don't let it get to you though, the real support people in your life want you to be happy and healthy, and respect your choices. Crying is good - it clears the way for what's next instead of bottling it up. Crying here is doubly good since so many people have been where you are and understand that this is a scary thing you're dealing with. I'm trying to think of it as scary all at once, instead of scary every day--which my weight really has been when I see it's effects long term. You're taking a well-informed and reasonable risk to live a longer and healthier life, and there's no growth without risk girl. You can do this!

[KristinaRnY 455]

<p>I think you love your relatives IN SPITE OF THEMSELVES. We don't choose them. Good luck and wear ear plugs.</p>

Yeah granted if they are family or not no one has the right to be disrespectful or tell anyone who is taking a stand for their health and life that they shouldn't. Unfortunately I had to cut some negative family members out of my life because they were just extremely toxic to my well being... Granted a lot more went down then this and idk your whole story with your mother but maybe a little distance would help. Don't let her get a reaction out of you. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people.

[DaddyMarie 291]

I love my mother and she means well, she just has a bad choice of words. We are always bickering. It's the normal.

Now I'm all freaked out about getting an infection and going septic!!!!!!! Thanks!!!!