Should parents be able to smack children in discipline

[Wheetsin 714]

If we hit an adult, it's assault, even if it's a family member, even if it's open-handed, even if it's not with a foreign object.

If I slap you across the face, I can be jailed. Why is it ok to then slap someone even smaller, even more defenseless?

Honest question.

[lizrbit 0]

Smack those heathen children! I would have benifitted from a little more disclipline.

[smatyas 0]

you know I just realized that I voted the way I didn't want to vote... I got mixed up somehow. take one off of yes and put it on no

feel alot better now.

Now this is the way i look at things:

If you deserve (as an adult) to be smacked, then you should be. Example: if someone disrespected my wife in any manner within earshot of me, You can bet your ass I would take care of that situation, and when that happens, my wife knows to step aside and let me go. They WILL stop, and WILL learn not to do whatever it is they did...

If a child is way out of line and there is no hope, give em a little whoopin and tell em why they got it. They WILL stop. and WILL learn.

[Carlene 12]

If we hit an adult, it's assault, even if it's a family member, even if it's open-handed, even if it's not with a foreign object.

If I slap you across the face, I can be jailed. Why is it ok to then slap someone even smaller, even more defenseless?

Honest question.

I think the difference is that society assumes other adults don't need to be disciplined - at least not outside the judicial system. However, we are responsible for the actions of our children, and for training them to be good citizens. If I'm going to be held accountable for someone's actions, I have to be allowed some control over their behavior, don't you think?

And slapping someone - anyone - in the face is NEVER, in my opinion, acceptable.

Honest answer.

[flabuless 18]

smacking/spanking: They are both the same to us us over here...a 'forceful' pat on the backside or a slap on the hand etc. With the new legislation we wont be able to do any of that. I hope this clarifies. The only thing we will be able to do is 'use reasonable force if the child is putting themselves in direct danger...meaning if my child is about you run accross the street with a car coming I am allowed to yank him back wit force...but I am not allowed to physically discipline him afterwards for disobedience. The new law will mean that if anyone sees me smacking/spanking my children they can report me and the children will be taken off me and I would be tried in court for child abuse. hmmm as much as I avoid smacking/spanking I still don't believe that is right.

Thanks everyone for your responces.

Becky

[smatyas 0]

Well..

If you told your child a hundred times to look both ways before crossing the street, would you rather:

1. Pull them out of harms way and spank them, then tell them they could have been run over by THAT car and THATs why I've been telling you this over and over?

2. Let them get hit because they need to get burned so they will stop playing with fire?

[bsubabe 0]

As a child care professional it is my oppinon that there are several meathods of dicipline that does nothing. or in turn can actually enable more undesirerable behaviors. One of these is "smacking a child" By this i mean hauling off and smacking a child. A spank on the rump, one open handed is ok. and does deliver a message if it is needed( btw this is also what MN state law states or something to that effect) Often times children exhibit what can be termed experimental behavior or needs behavior. The thing to remember with this is that ANY time a behavior is shown t here is a reason behind it. Lonly. bored, curious, angry, hurt, ect.. In my oppinon the best way to prevent these behaviors or to correct these is to find an alternate positive behavoir to correct it.

Another thing that i feel doesnt work and there is documetned proof is "Time out" sitting in the corner ect.. When this happens the child sits there and if the7y sit too long the forget why they are sitting there. what did that accomplish.:phanvan what we do in the classroom si a "cool down" if a child is throwing a fit:angry or hurting themselves or others then we tell the child they need to calm down and physically put the child in a corner with pillows, stuffed animals exc.. maybe books, this will help the child to calm down on their own and then when the child is ready to come back to the activity they are free to on their own and nothing more is mentioned.

Please keep in mind that these sugesstions have been used on preschool and under. I have not worked extensivly with older children yet and so i can only give my 2 cents for this age group. I hope i didnt sound preechy i just know what we use in the classroom and it works.

[Jachut 487]

I smack sometimes, I cant help it. Its usually in response to fright or pain. Like when Eliza wont go in her car seat and fights and ends up headbutting me full in the face and almost breaking my nose, I gave her a slap before I could even stop to think about it.

I dont really think its an effective disciplinary method but it sure as eggs diffuses my anger sometimes. I dont like that I do it, but I'm not perfect.

I was smacked as a child, more than I smack my own children, which is hardly ever. I got the belt for things I did. It was just punishment for some of the things I did, in my opinion. I loved (and still do) my mum and my dad, and was never afraid of them. I deserved a spanking sometimes. My relationship with them is still fantastic.

I was smacked on the behind. I was not punched, kicked, or violently hit. There's a big difference.

[Lap_dancer 8]

There is already in place a plan for children who are abused. I don't see why the government needs to interfere even more. That is the part that scares me. If there is a law in place, and a parent has disciplined a child by spanking, that parent may be arrested if there is a law against spanking? I think not!! On the other hand, a parent who is abusive to the point of leaving bruises and calls THAT discipline, needs to be locked up.

[*susan* 1,709]

If we hit an adult, it's assault, even if it's a family member, even if it's open-handed, even if it's not with a foreign object.

If I slap you across the face, I can be jailed. Why is it OK to then slap someone even smaller, even more defenseless?

Honest question.

This was exactly what I was going to point out. My ex-husband, my husband and I all agree on and have never laid a hand on our children. I am firmly against spanking, smacking or whatever you want to call it. I was spanked as a child and my parents "claim it never hurt me". Well, I am dead set against it. To me, all that shows the child is that if you are bigger than someone, you can control what you want them to do by physically hitting them.

If you saw one adult who disagreed with another adult, so they "spanked" them you would be appalled. Like Wheetsin said, the police would probably be called. If someone hit me, I would definitely charge them with assault. So, why is it not OK to hit someone of our same age and size, who can defend themselves, but it is OK to hit a small, defenseless child? Please explain the difference, if you can.

When my children were younger, they were punished with time out. If that did not work, the most effective means we found was taking away something that is important to them for a few days or longer, such as TV, ipods, etc. They are now 14 and 16. Both of my kids are in advanced honors classes in school. They excel in academics, sports and other extra curricular activities. They are kind-hearted, loving, caring well-behaved young adults that I am incredibly proud of. And, all this was achieved without ever laying a hand on them, and I am also very proud of that.

[Kat817 19]

I ran a day care for over 20 years. It was easy to see which homes were run by the parent, and which homes were run by the children.

I popped by own on the bottom a handful of times, enough to get her attention, and then tell her what was going to happen next...and she realized I was serious! If used in a proper manner, I don't disagree with it. The problem arises in the fact that not everyone uses common sense in dealing with kids. Spanking with a belt---repeatedly swatting a child---not mindful of where those swats land---is when the problems begin. It is impossible to regulate how hard you can spank, and in what 10 inch by 6 inch area......so the way to control it, and control parents, who have no control of their own, is to do as they propose and outlaw it in general.

In every way it was easier to control an entire room full of kids, than it was to control one at home! In both settings the only thing I ever found to work was consistency. If you threaten a time out if they don't listen---give it to them....if they do it again on Tuesday, you need to follow suit as well. IF you threaten a spanking for back talk---then swat them on the hiney! You do not have to knock them off their feet, you need to show them you meant what you said! If you tell them you are going to take away the toys they refuse to pick up---then be prepared to get your butt busy picking up toys to take away---I don't care if you just paid $30 bucks for it! They will learn how to get by with it all---if you let them!

In the work setting, I could not touch a child in a punishment fashion, nor could I talk to them like I might my own. You are left with little alternative to a Time Out---or a Cool Off period. We never left a child in there for long. One minute per year....a 3 year old saying bad words sat in Time Out for 3 minutes, then had a talk with the "teacher" before rejoining the class. Sitting with their back to the class is humiliating---it was not used lightly---but effectively.

I'm not sure there is a good answer. I am all for protecting children in all ways. I also hate seeing yet one more thing being regulated by the government.

Kat

[smatyas 0]

Susan... Your awesome for being able to raise your kids the way you did with them turning out as good as they have. I think that is a rarety.

[wavydaby 1]

Me, I loved time out at a kid. Didnt bother me a bit. Sit down at a wall? Bah.

Now if you said you were gonna give me a spankin... I changed in a hurry.

My brother.. he was terrified of the time out, you could spank him and he would laugh.

We each had our own hot buttons and one form of disciplin would have not worked for the other

There is no one right way. Its the parents decision.

[Carlene 12]

I was just thinking about how much times have changed in the last 50 years. Kids didn't have any rights when I was a child. If you went to school with stripes on your legs from a peach tree switch, no one called the police. They just figured you sassed your mom and she switched you, and good for her.

A switch, which is what my mother spanked me with, is a brutal form of punishment, once very popular in the South. A thin, limber switch will leave whelps and may even draw blood. Since I was a quick learner and did not enjoy pain, I only got switched once or twice.

I once asked my mother if she ever got switched when SHE was a little girl. She said the same thing....."once or twice". I think I must come from a long line of very intelligent people. Or at least people who have enough sense not to bring the wrath of a peach tree switch down on themselves more than once or twice in a lifetime.

I can't honestly advocate cutting the blood out of children's legs as punishment, but I can say that the more distasteful the consequences, the more likely you are to think before you misbehave. My DH says we need caning in America. I'm not sure he's right, but I'm not sure he's wrong, either.

[Victoriana 10]

Time out? Sure said one of my sons, I just love being locked up with all my toys and books.

Thats when commando parenting kicked in. This guy had spankings as a toddler and was pretty well behaved. As a first grader he was openly challenging my authority.

That summer his room had only his clothing in there. He is 30 now and he calls it the summer from hell. When his two younger brothers dared to challenge me out loud, he was quick to remind them that they really did not want to do that. He is a happy and well adjusted man and calls me regularly to just chat.

Spanking has its time and effectiveness. When the kids are older you have to find the economy that they will respond to. Now days its this, If I ask them to do something, and it isnt done in a reasonable time, I go unplug the hub. All I have to do now is start fumbling the electirc cords and they hustle. They think I only know enough to be dangerous. Like if loosing thier place in the games they play is a real trajedy.

I would be furious if my freedom to discipline as I saw fit was dictated. Talk about anarchy arising.