Telling people about surgery... Advice needed

[takefeline 2]

My surgery is scheduled for March 3rd and one of my biggest stressors is telling people about the surgery. The only people who currently know are my husband and his parents. I have a strained relationship with my family, so I've already decided to not tell them (they all live across the country so this won't be hard).

My issue is that I am a nurse and will be out of work for a month, so I know there will be questions about where I am. I don't want a lot of attention drawn to me and I definitely don't want people talking about me behind my back (working with mostly women!), so I'm not sure what to say.

I also am not sure if I will tell my closest friends. I feel they may be too judging...

Being around other ppl who have had bariatric surgery... People don't always want the best for you and would rather see someone fail!

Any advice on how to handle this?

[sissy13 138]

At 1st I told only my hubby and parents bc I was scared of people judging me but now 3 months out when people ask What are u doing? U look great. I just say I had weight loss surgery. I don't care any more about what people think or may say and believe it or not everyone I have told have been so supportive. I am just excited to be getting healthier and skinnier

[Walt99 7]

I just have told everyone, it will be very hard to hide the rapid weight loss or the fact that suddenly you aren't eating like you used too. Some people say 'good for you', while others think I'm crazy and should lose the weight naturally. But in the end it's my choice!

Good luck!

[re14768 72]

That's my concern also. .only hubby, sisters, mom knows. .I want to keep it private. Not sure how to go about requesting time off. Hope to have wls by early next month. Did I guys take FMLA? I already know I will be talked about by friends and coworkers. Especially working with a bunch of nurses and we get bariatric patients in our department post op all the time..I already know they will say or think I'm not big enough (I weight 240lbs)..mind u they are all almost skinny & they complain all the time how big they are and they need to lose weight. ..smdh

[taylokat 180]

That's my concern also. .only hubby, sisters, mom knows. .I want to keep it private. Not sure how to go about requesting time off. Hope to have wls by early next month. Did I guys take FMLA? I already know I will be talked about by friends and coworkers. Especially working with a bunch of nurses and we get bariatric patients in our department post op all the time..I already know they will say or think I'm not big enough (I weight 240lbs)..mind u they are all almost skinny & they complain all the time how big they are and they need to lose weight. ..smdh

I was in the same situation. I work in the PACU and I hear nasty judgmental comments about the bariatric patients so I chose to keep my mouth shut. I only took one week off (vacation). I had sleeve surgery at a different hospital. I've lost 77 lbs and I am 5 away from goal. Best decision I made was to tell just my husband, kids, brother and one close friend. That's it. I have found people, especially coworkers, will be nice and supportive to your face yet talk nasty behind your back. Screw them all. Now I hear them talk about how jealous they are at my weight loss. They really have no clue. Jokes on them! LOL!

[hopeful2 be slim 121]

I have told all that I was operated for ulcers and so now am on a liquid diet. In India most people are not aware of such surgeries and the need for it and so they gossip more.

Soon I can say I am on a strict weight loss diet as my knees are getting worse.

[SuperFab 689]

I'm not advertising my surgery but if I'm asked I'll be truthful. Someone on here posted "it's not what they call you, it's what you answer to". I couldn't care less what someone gossips about me. At least they're giving someone else a rest by not gossiping about them.

[McButterpants 2,846]

I told 5 people - my husband, son, parents and best friend. Maybe in the future I'll tell other people, but right now, I am not telling anyone else.

I have a very small circle of people close to me - others I consider friends, but not close. I have seen how these people gossip about others and didn't want to give them any fat to chew on. I'm a private person - I don't let people know my business - it's better for me that way.

I'm fortunate in that I telecommute full time, so no one really missed me at work - I took a few vacation days is all.

One thing I have found is if you're going to tell people, you have to be prepared for all kinds of responses - I have heard from people that said they found support in places they didn't expect it and others who were surprised when their friends didn't support them.

Best of luck to you!

[ImLooznit 171]

i kept mine a secret, until I was ready to tell everyone, once I started feeling better and losing, I was happy to tell anyone. I looked at it like this, you may help someone else that is thinking about it. Of course the decision is yours to make. People are going to talk no matter what... if you tell or if you don't. Best of luck to you... DO what is RIGHT FOR YOU!

[gohelpyourself 377]

My surgery is scheduled for March 3rd and one of my biggest stressors is telling people about the surgery. The only people who currently know are my husband and his parents. I have a strained relationship with my family, so I've already decided to not tell them (they all live across the country so this won't be hard).

My issue is that I am a nurse and will be out of work for a month, so I know there will be questions about where I am. I don't want a lot of attention drawn to me and I definitely don't want people talking about me behind my back (working with mostly women!), so I'm not sure what to say.

I also am not sure if I will tell my closest friends. I feel they may be too judging...

Being around other ppl who have had bariatric surgery... People don't always want the best for you and would rather see someone fail!

Any advice on how to handle this?

My advice is... stop caring what other ppl think. I don't and believe me.... it is therapeutic. I too am a nurse. I love when people want me to fail cuz it fuels my fire even more. I can usually sniff those ppl out and do my best to really irritate them with my success. I just got into NP school and a lot of those ppl are even more irritated.... I am going to be skinny AND move up the career ladder. Yea... I love ppl who want to see me fail. I internally thank them for giving me relentless motivation.

[carstanger 346]

Everyone has been very supportive except my sister and brother. They don't ask how I am doing or feel. Amazing to me. Think they might be jealous or I took the easy way out. Oh well! I'm proud and my husband is very supportive!!

[JeanZ_RN 378]

My viewpoint is different from most of the others on this thread.

I'm a nurse, working in an administrative job in a small hospital. Another nurse was hired for a similar position in our hospital, and in the course of conversation he soon volunteered the information that he had the sleeve surgery. I had not heard of it, so I asked some questions, did my research and decided to start the journey. When I scheduled the time off for the surgery it just seemed natural to tell my peers on the management team the purpose of that leave. They have ALL been supportive, which has helped me tremendously. My only family - 2 sisters and 1 brother - all live hours away, and while we do keep in touch by phone and email, it's great to have supportive people whom I see every work day. Now I get to hear several times a week congratulations on how great I look and other congratulatory stuff. I'll TAKE it!

I have no idea what if anything they say behind my back, but I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not getting any vibes to indicate they are anything other than supportive, so I have no reason to think there's any nastiness going on.

[gohelpyourself 377]

My viewpoint is different from most of the others on this thread.

I'm a nurse, working in an administrative job in a small hospital. Another nurse was hired for a similar position in our hospital, and in the course of conversation he soon volunteered the information that he had the sleeve surgery. I had not heard of it, so I asked some questions, did my research and decided to start the journey. When I scheduled the time off for the surgery it just seemed natural to tell my peers on the management team the purpose of that leave. They have ALL been supportive, which has helped me tremendously. My only family - 2 sisters and 1 brother - all live hours away, and while we do keep in touch by phone and email, it's great to have supportive people whom I see every work day. Now I get to hear several times a week congratulations on how great I look and other congratulatory stuff. I'll TAKE it!

I have no idea what if anything they say behind my back, but I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not getting any vibes to indicate they are anything other than supportive, so I have no reason to think there's any nastiness going on.

Everyone at work knows too... I manage a clinic and most ppl are very supportive.

[catered1 22]

When I started this ordeal my husband's only request was that I do tell people. I had a friend that didn't tell and she always seemed to be the topic of discussion. I am only losing 2 1/2 lbs. a week and wish I hadn't told anyone since it is about what I do on a normal diet. I feel there is more that defines me than that women over there that had weight loss surgery. But all in all I think either way this journey makes us dammed if we do tell and dammed if we don't. Good luck.

[takefeline 2]

My surgery is scheduled for March 3rd and one of my biggest stressors is telling people about the surgery. The only people who currently know are my husband and his parents. I have a strained relationship with my family, so I've already decided to not tell them (they all live across the country so this won't be hard).

My issue is that I am a nurse and will be out of work for a month, so I know there will be questions about where I am. I don't want a lot of attention drawn to me and I definitely don't want people talking about me behind my back (working with mostly women!), so I'm not sure what to say.

I also am not sure if I will tell my closest friends. I feel they may be too judging...

Being around other ppl who have had bariatric surgery... People don't always want the best for you and would rather see someone fail!

Any advice on how to handle this?

My advice is... stop caring what other ppl think. I don't and believe me.... it is therapeutic. I too am a nurse. I love when people want me to fail cuz it fuels my fire even more. I can usually sniff those ppl out and do my best to really irritate them with my success. I just got into NP school and a lot of those ppl are even more irritated.... I am going to be skinny AND move up the career ladder. Yea... I love ppl who want to see me fail. I internally thank them for giving me relentless motivation.

Belladonna, I'm also in an NP program and when that came out at work I had to deal with all the negative talk (you know what I mean). Not sure what I will do yet, but I admire your attitude towards this! Will keep it in mind!