What's Love Got To Do With It?

[Colleen Cook 207]

Happy Valentines Day! From gift cards to candy hearts, boxes of chocolates to tender letters, acts of kindness, and thoughtful expressions surround this mid-winter holiday. For some, reaching out to their valentine it is just an expectation that they grudgingly fulfill. For others,

Happy Valentines Day! From gift cards to candy hearts, boxes of chocolates to tender letters, acts of kindness, and thoughtful expressions surround this mid-winter holiday. For some, reaching out to their valentine it is just an expectation that they grudgingly fulfill. For others, it presents an opportunity to share genuine love and care for a cherished relationship. I am grateful and very blessed that my husband Roger is the latter. He is beyond kind, and always and completely acts out of love. He makes decisions based on what is best for those involved, and spends his days in service to others. An incredible man to be sure.

And, Roger cooks! He is a great cook and loves to prepare wonderful meals. You see preparing good food is how he shows his love for his family. And feeding me, is how he shows his love for me. Hmm, to be honest, sometimes, that is a challenge for me. Meals are one thing, but the homemade cinnamon rolls, baked bread, fudge (and you know about me and fudge) and especially the chocolate mint on my pillow each night are quite another. So kind, so thoughtful, yet so full of calories I simply cannot afford! But I can’t say anything, can I?

Years ago I came across an article by Gayle Andrews, PhD entitled “Intimate Saboteurs” Dr. Andrews included several case studies in which people who loved and cared very much about their WLS patient unknowingly ( though sometimes deliberately) sabotaged their weight loss success. Showing love with food is common. Many of us were raised that way. (See I Love You, Have a Cookie ).

So what’s a person to do? Well, for myself, I sometimes secretly throwing things out. Not always mind you, but more than once, after raving about Roger’s homemade cinnamon rolls, I have taken a bite and thrown the rest down the disposal. Not always, but sometimes the mint on my pillow ends up in the garbage. Or sometimes those extra lovin' spoonfuls go to my dog! You see, it’s just best that way. I could ask him to stop, and I have tried but I have come to realize that it is so very important to him to share his love and talent that way. So, I manage one delicious, caring calorie at a time.

When it comes to our weight management - what's love got to do with it? Well, I believe everything. There are so many people in our lives who love us with food. Each of us must find our own way to deal with "the love" in a way consistent with our commitment to both our beloved supporters and with our Success Habits.