So, should I be 'disappointed', 'flattered' or 'indifferent'?

[bigsleeve56 266]

"Hay you guys" I lost 155 lbs and still look like the sloth but wear smaller cloths whats wrong with that?

[rbtnln 81]

I love your humor! You put into words what I have definitely been feeling. I think for me it's funny when people say, "Oh, did you get your hair cut?" or, "Is that a new outfit?" because they can't quite put their finger on what's different. And no one wants to say anything about your weight because they'd be embarrassed if you said you hadn't lost any. So when people call out a non-descript change in me I just let them go on guessing. I haven't changed that much but enough for people to notice. My huge belly is reduced and that helps a lot. People who know I had the surgery are forever asking me how much I've lost which gets exhausting. And, they want to know what I can or can't eat all the time. Seriously people, you've never been this interested in my eating habits before - why now? It's an interesting journey we're all on and I love that we can share it with each other. I like having a somewhat anonymous forum with people who are a lot like me.

[piercedqt78 658]

I didn't read the entire thread, but maybe you didn't need a Whoa! moment, maybe you have always been beautiful?

[BellaHugz 331]

You mean I'm not going to wake up one morning with Sandra Bullock's body in Gravity? Ah man.

I had to laugh when i read this. I think that moment happed when I was 14 and my body looked good in boyshorts, but I can dream damn it.

[anniemay 150]

Although I noticed the loss and people would say nice things it didn't click with me until just this week - almost 10 months out. I came home and my son comes running down the hallway and suddenly stopped. He just looked at me and said wow you are skinny! Best thing ever - for my almost 7 year old to notice it so spontaneously. I had stalled for two months and just now lost five pounds - but those are the five pounds that pushed my body out of its normal comfort zone - where it has always liked to settle over the last 15-20 years....I could never lose more than that - now I have - and I get it - I feel it - and it is awesome!!!

[gmanbat 5,889]

Your post reminded me of a re-occurring dream:

I have garnered the ability to fly with nothing but the power of my will.

I fly around friends, relatives, and strangers and they just look at me indifferently.

I am screaming in self promotion, "I can fly..I am unique...no one else can do this!"

No dice. Nobody cares. I am swamped by the feeling of frustration.

What I am missing in my dream is the sheer joy of flying. I have risen to a challenge that I had considered impossible. I am doing what I thought I could never do. But I am missing the joy of my new freedom to see the world from new perspectives because I waste my dream trying to get elevated approval from the earth bound.

Back into the conscious world, I have experienced this. My wife got the gastric bypass a short time before I got sleeved. Our weight loss was similar and we reached our goals.

We moved to Florida and met with relatives here. They went absolutely nuts about how great my wife looked...to me they just said, "Good for you." Mrs.Astounding Transformation and her husband, Chopped Liver. If I weren't the mature man that I am I would have been jealous but I was happy for her and didn't let it bother me.

Peoples is peoples.

Grab your joy where you can find it.

Edited February 11, 2014 by gmanbat

[aussiekye 12]

OMG gmanbat u both look absolutely fantastic! U look so much happier and younger!! Well done! It must be amazing for you to have done this journey together . Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

[McButterpants 2,846]

I think this is interesting - I had to lose 50 pounds before anyone said anything about my weight loss. OMG - 50 pounds before I got an "Atta girl" from someone other than the 5 people that know I had weight loss surgery.

I was actually quite upset at my brothers and their families for not saying anything at Christmas time about my weight loss. Then I got to thinking - I'm more than my weight to them. I'm their sister, sister-in-law, crazy aunt, etc. They don't identify me as "The Fat Girl" like I identify myself. It takes me back to a comment my (skinny) brother said about 5 years ago when I told him I'm trying to lose weight...He said, "Why?" I was like, "You've seen me, right?"

I can tell things are changing from an internal perspective - I was on vacation recently and went to a restaurant where you have to maneuver around many tables to get to your seat. 50 pounds ago, I hated that place. Now, I glide in between people to and maneuver around like it's no body's business. I have no qualms about slipping in between chairs and tables. We sat down and my husband looked at me and said, "I like the new you!" I looked at him quizzically. He said, "Your more adventurous and you're happy." WOW.

I also found myself striking up conversations with people I don't know. Wow, that's the old-old me - like from my 20's and about 100 pounds ago!

I kind of like the new me, too!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Your post reminded me of a re-occurring dream:

I have garnered the ability to fly with nothing but the power of my will.

I fly around friends, relatives, and strangers and they just look at me indifferently.

I am screaming in self promotion, "I can fly..I am unique...no one else can do this!"

No dice. Nobody cares. I am swamped by the feeling of frustration.

*******What I am missing in my dream is the sheer joy of flying.******

Amen, Preacher Man. Amen. This is why I luuuuuuuuuuuv you.

Edited February 12, 2014 by LipstickLady

[CrazyJaney 775]

That Whoaaa moment? While I have not seen the total difference quite yet (down 90lbs), I have had friends that...shall we say were a little over supportive. I mean I was 312lbs. at 5'3 3/4". That's big, and by the time I'd lost 15 lbs. I started getting "OMG you look FANTASTIC! You must have dropped at least 2 sizes!!" ?? Really? My weight fluctuated near 10lbs. on a daily basis b****. I was and still am very public about my surgery. The amount of support I have received is amazing, but at the same time Im over it, kind of. I feel like some of it is over dramatized. Every time I walk out of the door right now, I know Im going to be talking to someone about the surgery. And while Im not embarrassed about my surgery, I hate when someone starts talking loudly around complete strangers about it. It just irks me sometimes that people don't think some of those things through. I doubt they would like it if I started loudly talking about their colonoscopy with complete strangers around. I guess I feel like a spokesperson :/ I'm sure given a year a so when I've steadied, in weight, it will slow down with the ridiculous amount of (maybe fake?) compliments and questions. I do talk about the surgery because its new and it's what's going on in my life. That doesn't mean I want to hear how fat I was on a constant public basis. Although, I think I have "inspired" one person to look into WLS for herself. That is awesome to know. Ok, I think Im done whining about my overbearing support now.

You just hit the nail. This is exactly why I'm not fully going "out". I can deflect a certain amount of unsolicited comments, but after a while, it's a distraction and becomes exhausting. When I lost 40 pounds (was only 30 from goal) many years ago I felt like I was under a microscope. I work in a hospital. One of the housekeepers made a comment EVERY SINGLE DAY. She was a bit "simple" and loved to talk. She was one of those people you'd want to avoid in a crowded waiting room. She'd go on and on and on about my weight loss. I didn't even know her name. We weren't even acquaintances. It drove me nuts. Anyway, your posts nailed it. It's about authenticity. I can't wait to have my butterfly moment but I'm still me. Don't make me think less of you because you're a shallow person who only sees my weight loss (or gain). Madame, you are smoking hot regardless of the number on the scale - I think your group probably sees the overall hotness you exude. Just saying.

[CrazyJaney 775]

Your post reminded me of a re-occurring dream: I have garnered the ability to fly with nothing but the power of my will. I fly around friends, relatives, and strangers and they just look at me indifferently. I am screaming in self promotion, "I can fly..I am unique...no one else can do this!" No dice. Nobody cares. I am swamped by the feeling of frustration. What I am missing in my dream is the sheer joy of flying. I have risen to a challenge that I had considered impossible. I am doing what I thought I could never do. But I am missing the joy of my new freedom to see the world from new perspectives because I waste my dream trying to get elevated approval from the earth bound. Back into the conscious world, I have experienced this. My wife got the gastric bypass a short time before I got sleeved. Our weight loss was similar and we reached our goals. We moved to Florida and met with relatives here. They went absolutely nuts about how great my wife looked...to me they just said, "Good for you." Mrs.Astounding Transformation and her husband, Chopped Liver. If I weren't the mature man that I am I would have been jealous but I was happy for her and didn't let it bother me. Peoples is peoples. Grab your joy where you can find it.

GMan - I love your posts. I really do. This is one of my all time favorites!

[Terri Lynn1383837796 139]

I have been feeling the same thing lately at work...I expect someone/anyone to say something...Hey people! I am down 65 pounds!!! But...another day goes by and nothing...zip. I then have to realize I see these people every day...I need to make plans to visit out of town family to get my ego boost!! SOON!!!

[greensleeve 457]

I have noticed that a lot of surgery candidates just don't do anything with their hair, make up or try to wear nice clothes. So they go from wearing t shirts, with blah hair, no make up and a look on their face like "please don't take my picture" to wearing hot clothes, cute jewelry, great stylish hair, great make up, getting teeth whitened, tanning, and smiling hugely. You sound like you already took pains to look polished and hot so you aren't going to have that same difference in the after pics.

Edited February 12, 2014 by Loveit2012

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Rev's..you know my story! When I came home from the hospital and had dropped 90+ lbs. i made my way into the bathroom because that was the first time I had seen myself in over 5 months. No one told me how I looked and no one prepared me for the change that had occurred in me.

I looked in the mirror and could not believe the person that stood there. She was old. Frail. Hairless. Wrinkled and could barely stand up. Needed to use my walker still at this point. Looking back at me was my 80 year old mother. My mother was a striking woman in her younger years but as age happens to us all she changed.

There I was Rev's looking like she did now. It was one of the most painful things I have ever encountered. I had hoped when I did this that it would be so gradual that I would not be different. that it would not make me look old, or my age....

But it did..And i cried about it for weeks and weeks and weeks and wondered if I would ever get over how I looked then....Since then another several lbs. have gone missing and I still see myself as I did in that mirror that day..........I would give anything to not have made a complete transformation...

As I have said it was so dramatic that no one knows me and so therefore I never get the wow factor. And never will because of how it all came out.....

Be glad it was not so dramatic in your mind Rev's. Be glad that you had friends and family that did not notice a huge difference....

Me...I live with the difference every day. I will never see myself different then what I saw in the mirror that day...It has stuck with me like a coat of metal over me.....

I am just trying to make the best of it for all of us..they worry so much about me and my mind set....So i pretend it is all good most of the time!!!!!!!!!

I know it's all about your own perception.. But you're looking pretty bloody fabulous to me, RJ! x

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

my face seemed to be the last ting that would drop in weight every time.

so for the longest time I still looked the same from the neck up never really noticed the difference as I personally don't own a full length mirror lol

to look at myself fully I have to go to my sister.

every now and again I noticed the face but it honestly took over a year and looking back over that year to be like oh that's different!

now that being said I am in total 222lbs smaller to date and I get less attention now than I did at 350lbs or 380lbs 400lbs and 425lbs it was interesting and very very odd.

not shy never have been used to attention when I go out so to be in a group on a night out and completely overlooked the whole time (not that I am looking but you know um hello!) is like what the hell?!?!

I say as a joke but really do mean it "oh I am just another skinny girl now and I don't even have massive boobs any more!"

its drummed into us on all fronts skinny is better/beautiful/what everyone wants/looking for, so when you become "skinny" and your not (or don't feel like one anyway 24/7) a supermodel with everyone saying wow and falling at your feet its like your robbed a little.

don't think I had my butterfly moment either always had sharp features they just got lost when I went over 380lbs.

I hear ya. I don't want people to fall over me.. Just to recognise a difference.. Any difference would be good!