February 2014 post op losers

[PrincessErin 64]

Hi, Oh Sokoyoko you poor poor thing. What a terrible and frightening time you are having. You must be feeling so miserable and worried, as well as being in major recovery mode. No wonder you feel tired and weak, I still feel that way 5 weeks down the line and I haven't had any of your problems. How can you think that you are a failure tough? Look at what you have been, and are going, through. You are truly amazing, to keep on your track to have the body you want, and deserve, despite all the set backs. As you say the fact that it was diagnosed so quickly is the only piece of positivity in all this. You will get there, but feeling so miserable must be normal, considering how bad you must feel. You will get support on here and we are all here for you. Just keep telling us how you feel and we will try to help in any way we can. I think feeling angry and resentful is part of it. It is easy for other people to say the wrong thing to me and I am normally a calm person. I haven't had anyone saying that it is easy option, I don't think that they would live to see another day if they did! However just concentrating on how much I have lost when there is a major bereavement process going on here is not good either. Making assumptions about how I might feel and assuming that everything must be fine if I am not having post op recovery problems are other annoying things. Feeling irritable and angry must be par for the course then, so that is something else that must be normal for us. I suppose I do feel that I was eating as healthily as possible and was already doing all the right things and denying myself things I like, and it just isn't fair that I have had to put myself through this too. So nobody else has the right to think this must be a good thing and they wouldn't find it too difficult. They should try it themselves! food might have been a friend, but it was a toxic friend. Like all toxic friends it gave us something that we thought that we needed, but it wasn't wanting our best interests and was making us feel worse about ourselves as a result of it being our friend. So it was no friend at all really. However, it was a highly sociable thing to know and it allowed us to be sociable with others and to fit in with what other people are doing and was fun and entertaining. We miss what it enabled us to do, but not how it made us feel. We are now starting to make new friends, who perhaps are not quite so much fun, but they allow us to be sociable too. They are things like gluten free multigrain crackers, and they are our friends and nobody else's. Other people have other friends, but these are the only friends that we can go out with so it really isn't fair when people want to go out with them too. No wonder we are angry, why can't people just let us have our own friends at least, because we can't mix with old friends who were not really friends at all. These friends will make us enjoy life more and will maybe become better friends over time, but we still miss our old friends. That is my interpretation at least! So we have a right to miss our old friends who were different types of food, and want to be back out with them. We also have a right to feel angry and resentful about people who mix with these old friends, and try to take our new ones.. However, toxic friends are not good and they lower our self esteem and confidence and make us less than we could be, we don't need them but we need to adapt to life without them. It is all a bit of a bereavement process - disbelief, denial, anger, resentment and finally acceptance. We will get there, we have new friends in food, but more importantly we also have other new friends, who are actual people, who understand how we feel and help us through bad days. A lot of them are on here, on this forum, and we certainly couldn't do without them. We can get through this together, being honest about how we feel stops us feeling lonely and isolated. Long may this honesty continue and we will then be able to support each other. Thinking of you sokoyoko, I hope you feel a little stronger every day. Carry on getting better Dreaming. Take care Claire

You're so right. We just need to be patient with ourselves on this journey.

I'm glad we have each other.

[PrincessErin 64]

Omg Erin are we the same person?! I have been extremely bratty lately. Everything gets on my nerves, I can go from happy to extremely annoyed or bitchy in like 2 secs or some days I just wake up angry and resentful and am like that all day. It's awful cause I have a 2 1/2 year old son and he loves to push my buttons and lately I'm just not for it. I seem to throw as many fits as he does lately. I know he he doesn't understand and won't remember mommy being so emotional and crazy but it still makes me feel horrible. Also the territorial thing over food, yes yes yes! I even cleaned out a cabinet and part of the fridge and freezer for "my stuff". I bought this pulled pork stuff the other night and made it for myself while everyone else had steak and It was delicious and granted it would have taken me 3 or 4 days to eat it all but I woke up the next day and it was gone and I flipped out. What the hell, everyone ate a huge steak and loaded baked potato and you STILL have to eat my healthy food which doesn't taste quite as good good as half the stuff in the cabinets or fridge! I guess that's a lot of jealousy and resentment towards others eating. I mean if we can't have what they are eating then NO they can't have what we are eating. That also seems kinda bratty but hey whatever!

I have a cabinet with stuff for "me" in it but it's a free for all at my house lol. Teenagers. 9 year olds. A boyfriend who is...a special man.

It's going to take time and ultimately, life needs to continue like normal. I just have to get over it!

[clairec 44]

Hi,

Welcome Mr&Mrs B, and yes I have had yogurt since the day after surgery but all our regimes seem to be so different. It took me another couple of weeks to cope with it again though! It sounds like you have had a really rough ride getting to this stage.

Dreamingbig I really don't think that you will not be losing just because you have moved on to solid food. I think we can get rather twitchy abut what the scales say and read into it things that are not true. I had 2 days when I didn't lose anything and thought maybe it was what I was eating. Then I thought it really can't be that because if that is the case I can't eat anything... ever! So I tried not to worry and today I lost a pound again. I think sometimes your body can have too little and go into starvation mode and having been on fluids only your body is probably just trying to hang on to everything, but you will lose, you can't fail to on so little. Otherwise none of us would be losing either.

I hope you are coping with everything Sokoyoko, I am thinking of you.

Claire

[PrincessErin 64]

So I'm needing a little weigh in/support I don't know...just my peeps I guess... I started eating cottage cheese, yogurt and mashed potatoes yesterday. 1-2 tsp/"meal" everything went fine!! And I loved the food. But now...yesterday and today...the scale didn't move at all. This makes me not want to eat anything at all as when I was on liquids it was dropping... What the heck??

Hey! Plateauing will happen!! Look at the big picture of your weight loss and not the daily weigh ins.

You know logically that a tsp of mashed potatoes won't stop weight loss.

Ya probably gotta go doo-doo!

Stop weighing yourself everyday, dreamy dreamer!!!

[sarahgirrl 12]

So I'm needing a little weigh in/support I don't know...just my peeps I guess... I started eating cottage cheese, yogurt and mashed potatoes yesterday. 1-2 tsp/"meal" everything went fine!! And I loved the food. But now...yesterday and today...the scale didn't move at all. This makes me not want to eat anything at all as when I was on liquids it was dropping... What the heck??

I've decided I'm not going to weigh myself outside of my dr and nutritionist appts. I'm hoping it will help me keep focus on my eating plan without getting discouraged. Even before my surgery my weight would easily vary a few lbs day to day, and even from morning to night. It might be worth a shot for you to try.

[hmjdreamingbig 93]

You guys are right..I shouldn't weigh every day. I guess I'm a lil obsessed. Man I gotta find some healthy habits...and Erin..ya I do..need to dodo!!! Damn it my tummy hurts

[Mr&MrsB 5]

So I just got a call from the NUT telling me that even though I called last Friday and asked if I could have yogurt that she does not want me to eat yogurt. She said she consulted another NUT and they told her she had given incorrect info. I haven't had a shake since Friday because I was eating yogurt. I have a hard time choking these shakes down. And I feel like I am starving!! I am so bitchy and weak and have like no brain power. I went to the store and forgot all my bags at the check out because I am in a constant fog. My second pre op with my surgeon is Thursday and then I can do soft foods which sounds like heaven. My husband is having his bypass on April 25th and he is eating pizza and mcdonald's and I have to smell it and it makes me want to cry!!! This is my 3rd WLS and it's been the hardest!! My husband has no idea what he is in for!! I did Water aerobics last night a whole hour but barely made it through because I feel weak. I am so discouraged and feel really depressed about having to try to get shakes down. My NUT did say I could put in a tbsp of yogurt in and I did that but it still is just gross to me. What about like sf candy to suck on has anyone been approved to do that?

[zomgjj 29]

I had a major non scale victory today.

I took my 2 year old to the park today and instead of walking around and just keeping an eye on him I was able to slide on the slide with him! He couldn't stop laughing and was ecstatic and I seriously almost cried that I could do these things now and because I can he enjoyed himself that much more.

Oh what a good day. I can't wipe the smile off my face. I haven't been able to fit on a slide in years!

[kimr 37]

Mr&MrsB, have you tried all diff kinds of Protein Shakes? They are not all alike!

GREAT nsv Zom! What a wonderful feeling.

I'm continuing to struggle to get in more softer foods. I'm tired of throwing it all back up. I'm still getting stuck on vitamins/meds too (and I do take chewable where I can). Going for my 6 week post op tomorrow and will be discussing it all then. I'm down 35lbs in 6 weeks, so happy about that.

[ljgh73 21]

I had a major non scale victory today. <br><br> I took my 2 year old to the park today and instead of walking around and just keeping an eye on him I was able to slide on the slide with him! He couldn't stop laughing and was ecstatic and I seriously almost cried that I could do these things now and because I can he enjoyed himself that much more.<br><br><br> Oh what a good day. I can't wipe the smile off my face. I haven't been able to fit on a slide in years!

Congratulations!!! I hope that smile lasts for days. Just imagine all those "little" things you will be able to do with your little guy. Not to mention you will really want to do!

[PrincessErin 64]

Congrats on that NSV!!!!! Keep them coming. I love to hear of the successes.

[clairec 44]

Hi,

Great news Zom. Way to go! Kim I hope you get some answers at your appointment, so sorry you are trowing up all the time, I really couldn't cope with that.

Mr&MrsB all the regimes seem so different and it doesn't seem as if there is any evidence based reason why this is the case. it seems to be just the personal views of those who give advice. The general principles are the same: keep your Protein levels up (but views vary about whether this is through Protein Drinks or not), listen to your body and gradually introduce new foods starting with Soups, yogurts and then soft foods and moving on to more normal foods. However the speed of this progression and what is advised depends on the practitioners involved. In my mind I want to know what is bad for my pouch, what could cause dumping and what is just healthy eating advice, but as separate entities so I can make up my own mind in terms of how to manage things, because we are all different and we will respond differently.

All very confusing!

Claire

[PrincessErin 64]

I've been able to keep down a little over 1/4 cup of food down for two days straight.

[kimr 37]

Nice Erin! What are you doing different?

My doc wants to do an upper GI on me next week to check the pouch and make sure it hasn't narrowed (like from scar tissue).

[zomgjj 29]

I've been able to eat 2 to 3 oz of meat and like 1/4 of something with it. I think I may be eating more than everyone else especially for 5 weeks.

I know your not supposed to compare to others but it freaks me out. I'm so scared to stretch out my pouch.