16 days Post-Op, Sad & full of regret

[LoveNKindness 25]

I had the sleeve performed on 1/20. I was on Protein Shakes and clear fluids for two weeks pre op and 2 weeks post op. It's now been three days that I've been able to have purée foods like mashed potatoes, apple sauce yogurt and Soups.

After being on the clear Fluid diet for so long I thought I would be happy to move on. I have felt regret since the moment I woke up from surgery , and despite my hope it would get better when I could eat more it's actually gotten much worse.

I miss so much about life before this surgery. I don't know how I will adjust. I miss taking big gulps of cold Water. I sip and sip and sip, but I am always thirsty. I miss the joy of eating with friends and family and eating good foods. I miss being able to drink while I'm eating and I hate having to wait half an hour before and after eating to drink. Will it always take me half an hour to drink a cup of water? Will the rest of my life be spent feeling thirsty, hungry, counting minutes till I can drink water or constantly tracking my Protein? I chose the sleeve over the bypass so that I would still be able to have a semi-normal life. There's no point regretting something that cannot be undone, but I do.

[volfan82 38]

Things will get better ,Do you have a counselor or someone with your hospital/doctor to talk to ? I am able to gulp several big swigs of Water now and not hurt, I was concerened about just "Sipping" myself but I promise you will be able to. Just give it some more time and keep on keeping on.

[volfan82 38]

Everybody feels regret at some point but you need to start thinking of down the road after your weight loss or something to keep your mind off the present and focus on your goals. Like I said earlier, It WILL get better. I went out to eat last night and looked up menu on line and knew what to order before i got there, Jyust ate slow and enjoyed the conversation more instead of just the food. I had a 6 oz salmon and broccoli and was just fine.

[volfan82 38]

Did not eat all of the dinner, Just about half.

[WombatVSG 56]

Is there a support group available to you through your doctor's? I think we all occasionally have regrets, but I'm worried about the fact that you've been unhappy about the surgery since you got it.

Someone in another thread talked about finding your "new normal." It's true, you won't be able to go back to the life you had before. But there are other things that can fill the void. What limitations did you face that made you want to have this surgery? For me, it was stuff like wanting to play Frisbee, or fly a kite, or go for bike rides. Well, it's too dang cold to do any of those things right now, but when I feel like I've lost something because I don't want an Oreo, remembering the things I'm working towards gives me a positive focus.

You're not alone. There are people who can help you work through this. Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself.

And PS: I miss drinking lots of Water, too! I think it will get better.

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

What you are going thru is perfectly normal. I am 11 months out and i would have to say that the first 2 months are hardest. I am pretty much "normal" now except I eat a lot less at a meal. I can gulp cold water! I also felt in the beginning that I would never be able to drink or eat without awful stuffed feeling. Eating meat just plain hurt. It will gradually get better and then you won't even remember er this difficult stage. I used to burp so much after every bite! I was so tired of burping!

Water has high surface tension so gets stacked up in the sleeve. Drink it more room temperature and tension is lower. You may want to switch for now to diet tea or diluted Gatorade or crystal light. She. Water is mixed with other things the surface tension is lower. I had to switch to diluted diet snapple and diluted Gatorade of I would have been dehydrated. As for food, go slowly on adding thicker food. Try things like thicker Soups and chili first.

Don't get discouraged! The benefits truly are amazing! I don't even notice separating eating and drinking anymore. Only if I drink on purpose to be too full to be tempted by bad food.

It will get better one day at a time. I am down 114lbs in the past year and still losing. And I eat pretty normal. Just less. Whenever you get down just visualize yourself in a couple months. It will be here before you know it!

[Tate777 84]

I feel you. I will be 2 weeks out on Monday and I am a MESS. I am sad and angry much of the time. Depressed. Feel like who gives a sh*t and just want to go to bed and stay there. The support group through my surgeon's office meets once per month. Next meeting is in a few weeks. I might try to go. In the mean time, it is what it is. Can't be undone so I may as well suck it up and deal.

[Tiffany Talbert Corbet 46]

Sweet girl, you need to remember, you are still healing. I know it's been a couple weeks since surgery, but this isn't like getting stitches and you're healed in a couple weeks. Your healing is taking place inside where there is no air to help it "scab" over so it will heal itself, and everything you put into your mouth, is going to your incision. Plus, you are likely still swollen a bit. Give yourself a break. Like everyone else has said, it will get better. I'm 15 months out and I am so used to not drinking anything for 30 min after I eat that it's second nature. I don't even crave anything to drink until then now. You will be able to gulp your fluids once you are completely healed, but honestly, you won't gulp much. I still can't take more than 3 gulps without having to stop and wait a min or 2 before I can drink more.

Like I said, give yourself a break, you're still healing. All will be well, just be patient.

[LoveNKindness 25]

Thanks so much for your kind inspirational words and advice. Knowing I might be able to gulp Water really helps!

It's honestly not at all like me to be so pessimistic or feel sorry for myself. I should be grateful I have had a chance to have this surgery when so many others cannot access it. It has dawned on me that perhaps now that I am starting to notice my clothes not fitting and the weight coming off I might also be grieving out of a feeling of loss.

Is that weird? Grieving the loss of my extra pounds? Anyone else feel that way? Although I'm obese, the rest of my life is bliss. I have two wonderful loving kids, a fantastic husband, a great career, and a cozy little house where we are warm and safe together. My physical appearance has not bothered me as much as the concern I might not be around to see my children grow up if I don't dramatically improve my health.

[LoveNKindness 25]

I feel you. I will be 2 weeks out on Monday and I am a MESS. I am sad and angry much of the time. Depressed. Feel like who gives a sh*t and just want to go to bed and stay there. The support group through my surgeon's office meets once per month. Next meeting is in a few weeks. I might try to go. In the mean time, it is what it is. Can't be undone so I may as well suck it up and deal.

do you have any supports at home?

[mamato2 21]

<p>I feel you. I will be 2 weeks out on Monday and I am a MESS. I am sad and angry much of the time. Depressed. Feel like who gives a sh*t and just want to go to bed and stay there. The support group through my surgeon's office meets once per month. Next meeting is in a few weeks. I might try to go. In the mean time, it is what it is. Can't be undone so I may as well suck it up and deal.</p>

I know how you feel will

I ever want to get out of bed? Can't undue what can't be undone!

[WombatVSG 56]

There are times I feel really fatigued, and don't want to get out of bed, but I've also noticed that when I do get out and move around some, I feel better. So dragging our butts out is another healthy way to fight the blahs.

And I totally get mourning the loss of your fat! It's a cocoon. A lot of my good qualities (empathy, humor, introspection) came from that fat. But you know, all of that fat isn't going away. So yeah, be sad, but focus on what you're trading the fat for. Physical activity, hot monkey sex, walks to scenic overlooks... Whatever brings you joy.

The other thing I wonder about, though I haven't read any research... So my stomach isn't producing the hormone ghrelin any more. Does that mess with my other hormones in some way? Because I won't lie, I've got some crazy-making hormones.

[Tate777 84]

do you have any supports at home?

My husband is the most AMAZING, wonderful, loving, compassionate human being on the planet--- he really is the best. I could not ask for better than him. Honestly I feel guilty for not being more grateful. In addition to being a compulsive overeater, I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober almost 21 months now. Sobriety has been easy-- because if I was upset or stressed, I could always eat. Now I do not have that. I feel just like I did when I got out of rehab-- raw, frightened, overwhelmed. I have joined a 12 step group for eating disorders, but it only meets once per week. I have talked to my AA sponsor some about it-- maybe I need to talk to her more, IDK. All I know is I feel like sh*t.

Edited February 8, 2014 by Tate777

[MichiganChic 3,262]

You are so newly post op, it's hard to see how bright your future is now. I remember those early days/weeks, and i thought maybe something was wrong with me because I just felt so generally awful. Super fatigued, the weight wasn't coming off like I thought it should (I was ridiculous - it was coming off great) and just uncertainty that all would be OK. I would read threads on here about people who felt great 2 days out, blah blah blah. Results "not typical". It was hard not be short-sighted, but the truth is that if you work on making the changes you need to, you will transform your mind and body.

Now, at over a year out, I am so incredibly normal! I can eat anything and everything. I can drink Water to my hearts content. I can eat small but normal portions and feel fine. I look normal. I was wear normal size clothes. I'm normal, normal, normal. That's all I ever wanted to be. I also had/have a great life, so losing the weight, managing my diet, and moving into a healthy life just completed it for me.

[LoveNKindness 25]

Thanks for the support everyone. I do have to remind myself that it's not even been three weeks!

I feel unbelievably better knowing that one day I will be able to do the things I want that I was so worried I would never be able to do again.