Just Wanted To Rant

[MouseOnTheMile 186]

So yesterday I was talking with my sister about my surgery and she said something that has been very hurtful to me and try my best, I can't shake it. I thinks it's because I tolerated her negative attitude towards my surgery beforehand. I thought maybe nearly three months out she'd be happy for me. But she appears to be quite bitter about losing her security blanket as "the skinny sister". My sister is not overweight by most standards. She's thick in the thighs and ass and fairly slim everywhere else. Healthy build I'd say. But she's not happy because she is heavier than she was 5 years ago. Alas, most non-dieting or exercising people would be happy with not watching what they eat and barely gaining. But I think she's scared I'm gonna be some stick thin model, making her fat by default. Anyway, what she said was:

"I would never have what you had done. It's just an easy way out. To be miserable with food for the rest of my life and never enjoy another meal. Plus when I get to my goals, I'll be much much more proud of that accomplishment than you will when you get to yours."

Then she got up and walked away.

I always expected I'd have people that felt that way.. But my sister, super close in age to me, hell we are even roommates now as adults, who has seen me struggle with my weight forever, who has seen my panic and dismay whenever I need to dress up for a nice event, who has been through my shopping trip depressions... I thought she'd understand and be the most supportive. Sadly that's not the case.

Sure there are times when eating is a chore and not enjoyable like it used to be but while that can be a challenge depending on the day, it's reassuring. Reassuring that food doesn't control me anymore. I still enjoy something's sometimes and that's what I think healthy eating habits can be. And I'm alright with that.

Is it an easy button? I'm not going to lie like some zealots on here, so far, in the beginning, yes it has been easy. Especially in comparison to the lose and gain of every other attempt at weight loss I've tried. But I'm not deluded. It will not always be this way. It's going to become a battle.

Anyway. I'll stop ranting, it's something we all struggle with. It just frustrated and cut me deep.

Edited February 7, 2014 by MouseOnTheMile

[Tate777 84]

I know she is your sister, so this is going to be very hard advice to take... but it is the truth. While it feels VERY personal, her comments have NOTHING to do with you. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. This is entirely about her insecurity and her issues. When I encounter people in my life like this, I treat them like they are sick-- I have compassion for them, but do not take anything they say to heart-- because they are clearly not in their right mind. It works for me-- and keeps me from taking what they say personally. Keep doing you. Peace.

[Domika03 309]

I'm sorry she's not providing the support you really need. But, Tate777 is right. This has NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with her, and her own insecurities. Unfortunately, it sounds like it might take her a while to get used to your new healthy lifestyle, if she ever gets accustomed to it. I know it's hard, but try to not let it get the best of you. Stay focused, and stay positive.

Best of luck!

[laurivgs 27]

My mom was so against it. i haven't seen her since my surgery. in Dec.. it hurts but we are taking care of us.good luck with ur sis! hope things get better .

[SandeeD 363]

Tate, what you said is so true, THANK YOU:)

[CrazyJaney 775]

I have a sister I'm very close to. I'd be so hurt if she felt that way. But I agree with the others. It's her baggage and crap. Not yours. Remember these words: THE BEST REVENGE IS A LIFE WELL LIVED. Not that you're in the business of revenge but.... Go live your very best life. Seize the day! Find your true you and be HAPPY. She may never find hers. Your transformation is perfect for you. But my heart aches a little for you because those digs sting. No one knows how to push a button like a sister.

[sleevethefatbehind 95]

One word: Jealousy.

That's too bad for her. Try to be compassionate. She's being insecure. But that was a very immature thing for her to say.

[ualaw08 270]

I realized the same thing about my sister this week. We are not close at all as of recent years. She had gastric bypass in 2004 or so. Lost a significant amount of weight. Got down to a size 6 but has regained to about a 10-12. Still significantly smaller than me. And she has held on to that too.

Ever since I went to law school in 2005 our relationship has soured a bit. She became very jealous and resentful of me. She became an alcoholic and drug addict. Her life has been on a downward spiral and she has told many people that us because I was a planned pregnancy and she was not.

All in all I guess she felt like the only thing she had over me was that she was of average size and I was not. A couple of weekends ago I sent a picture of my weight loss progress so far. She never responded and hasn't said a word to me since.

I asked my mom the other day had she heard from her and she said yes. Then she casually mentioned that she kept tellin her she was going on a diet. Then my mom told me that my weight loss was probably pushing her over the edge again.

I'm not worried about her. Everything I have accomplished in my life has been through hard work and dedication, including my weight loss so far. No one is gonna rain on my parade!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'd tell her to suck it. That's just me, though.