People, please.....

[gowalking 10,790]

I’ve noticed a number of posts lately from bandsters who are non compliant due to stressful situations in their lives. I am very sympathetic to anyone dealing with difficult situations but not so sympathetic with those who deal by eating too much, or eating poorly. I can’t help but think it’s just an excuse to self sabotage. If you were an alcoholic, you would avoid drinking during stressful times. Otherwise, you would be back to drinking uncontrollably again. Same for us foodaholics...and yes, I'm a foodaholic. If stress makes you reach for a cookie or a taco, what makes you think you won’t eat a box of Cookies or a ton of tacos?

We must must must find better outlets for our stress. It’s bad enough when things are not going well, but to risk your success on top of that to me is just completely destructive. I’m not saying I have the answers, I just think this is a topic worth discussing.

[Jim1967 3,569]

Just talking about it can be enough for some so I say great post indeed. If you're having issues reach out on here and talk through it or even PM someone on here your comfortable with if you don't want to post publicly.

[rayanne 283]

yes I totally agree just to backslide because your stressed is undoing all your progress. I too am a stress eater...right now my son is injured and we are going to doctor after doctor to get it fixed...so since I am a stress eater I pack my lunch and ask my family for help in helping me to make the right choices...I know everyone does not have the wonderful support system I have but don t let it mess up your progress

[lisacaron 5,075]

I totally agree with you! I have been having a very stressful couple of weeks....I'm a very lucky gal in many aspects of life and then there are somethings that can just send you spiraling and are out of your control.

If you knew me well you would know that some (like my kids) like to call me a control freak. This is not exactly the case, though I do like a certain order and organization to my life. It helps me to deal with the catastrophes that life throws my way all too often.

That said this weekend, I learned something about myself that has truly amazed me. I have been plugging along since I was banded, following the rules, getting my fills, going to the gym as often as I can. Encouraging those around me who are banded and even those who are not to eat better make better choices, to try and move more and keep motivated. (former cheerleader yeah that's me!)

Problem is that I am very good, too good with my poker face. My private world can be rocking and hanging off the edge of cliff and I will still be doing what needs doing. Professional problem solver yup that's me, and so my inbox is never empty and my desk always has someone at it and my phone always rings and there is always a problem that needs solving.

I love it, it is who I am....but sometimes it gets to me. Sometimes I am sad...and I want to withdraw and hide. I used to hide with some Snacks and eat them to soothe my pain. I found out this weekend that this no longer works for me, but I didn't know until I tried it. All this time since being banded I have not fallen into my "emotional" eating like that. Where I took the goodies and hid myself away to medicate my feelings.

This Monday I did just that and you know...it made me sick to my stomach. Not from guilt but literally sick to my stomach! It didn't do what it used to do for me...and now I felt even worse and wanted to throw up.

It was my husband who intervened my pity party and calmly said to me, why don't you hit the treadmill and walk it out.

I was pissed off at him in that moment, I felt like he was judging me for falling apart. The rock who is so strong for everyone else...there she is in the bottom of a Cheetos bag. but...no he wasn't mocking me or judging me, he was trying to help me and he was right.

I felt better after walking it out, putting on some headphones listening to some relaxing music and just walking till I felt calmer and more at peace with myself again.

I'm still dealing with the affects of this latest catastrophe and there is always lots and lots of work to do...in the paying world and in all other area's of my life, and today I can tell you from experience that I know it's not food that's going to help me decompress any longer.

I need to move, and moving through it is what is helping me...and hey it's helping my body and my health too!

[KAATNS 1,473]

I can totally relate to this, especially right now. Great post Lisa!

Problem is that I am very good, too good with my poker face. My private world can be rocking and hanging off the edge of cliff and I will still be doing what needs doing. Professional problem solver yup that's me, and so my inbox is never empty and my desk always has someone at it and my phone always rings and there is always a problem that needs solving.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Some people can deal with stress better then others. If people don't want to help themselves your just preaching to the choir. You also have to look at their situations. Last year I had a tragedy happen in my life. I would have just as soon died at that moment. I felt like a dog who was kicked while they were down. Just because people are struggling and using food to relieve their stress, in the long run they are the ones that has to pay for it not any of us. If we all lived in a perfect world none of us would have needed weight loss surgery. So what I am saying is how can anyone sabotage their hard work? It's easy when you are in the depths of hell wanting just throw in the towel. It happens no one is perfect. No I did not use food for the stress I was in but I can easily see how it happens.

[JustDoIt130 369]

I have been using food to alleviate stress- even though I know it doesn't really work, I will feel bad (physically and emotionally), should try other things.

Bottom line is, this is a tool and you have to still make choices- and the band isn't around our head or emotions.

So, I backslide, and then I pick myself up, dust myself off and start over- but still from a MUCH better place than where I would have been pre-band.

So, please don't judge. No one is perfect, if I were I wouldn't have needed a band. I still will eat slider foods, I still will go through good times and not good times- but my band will be there to help when I choose to use it (which I do choose more often than not).

And I have found that I don't go as "crazy" as I did pre-band- I can't! The band won't let me.

It's a learning process, a mental process, and a marathon, not a sprint.

I am NOT trying to justify eating poorly, etc- I know it's MY choice, no one is making me eat badly. I know B-52 says he CAN'T eat badly, but I still can- ice cream is my nemisis, and it's a total slider food, though I can't eat nearly what I used to. Perhaps my band isn't tight enough (though I think it is, it's the slider foods that I should be avoiding anyways that will go down even with a tight band).

Each time I backslide, I learn something- one of my favorite LOL movies is "what about Bob" with Bill Murray. I'm baby stepping it

SO I agree in theory with you, but you liken it to being an alcoholic- which I agree with- but unlike alcohol, you can't live with out food, so it's harder to just avoid.

I hope I'm expressing myself here- I guess the point to this post is I'm not perfect, but my band helps me even when I'm not perfect, and as I go on this journey I learn new things all the time and I just- to quote my favorite Disney movie- Keep moving forward.

Nicki

[lisacaron 5,075]

Each time I backslide, I learn something- one of my favorite LOL movies is "what about Bob" with Bill Murray. I'm baby stepping it

Nicki

Your expressing yourself very well Nicki. Baby stepping it is what I do too when I'm not quite sure where I want to go. I don't want to stop moving all together, so instead I'll take those more cautious smaller baby steps and keep it moving.

I am very happy to have my band, it helps me to better understand things in relation to food about myself that I may have been told before but just didn't understand how it applied to me as well as I do today.

[lisacaron 5,075]

So what I am saying is how can anyone sabotage their hard work? It's easy when you are in the depths of hell wanting just throw in the towel. It happens no one is perfect. No I did not use food for the stress I was in but I can easily see how it happens.

Cheryl you are on point here. When you are going through something the last thing you might be doing is thinking about your weight loss or your band. It can and it does happen. We are human and not infallible, but we are able to learn something from everything we do. I think that is more what Gowalking is trying to encourage here, for us to have a place that's safe to share our bit of hell with another and maybe to confess to those who can understand us without judgement when we have transgressed against ourselves.

No one wants to have to learn lessons the hard way, but sometimes that is the only way we learn. I have learned this very poignant lesson not only by making mistakes myself but also by watching my very own hearts (my children) fall and fail and struggle as they become men, not just in the number of their years. While knowing that it is my duty as their mother and someone who loves them unconditionally to let them. No matter how much it might tear my heart apart. To love them is to let them grow...let them learn...let them go...and let them live their lives.

Edited February 5, 2014 by lisacaron

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well I think that we all know what happens when we don't stick with the plan. Its easier to do then people think. Once they get the band they think life is easy and in no way is this process easy. It can be all but frustrating at times. Especially in the maintenance phase when you are at goal. You think it will be easy but its not. I think anyone who is contemplating WLS should have their emotions in check because there will always be hard times that one can't deal with. I focus on my writing the most when I am stressed. When I have no other way to express myself I write. The second year that I was banded I pumped out three books, published them and started on two more. Some people need a way to channel their emotions but we used food for so long that they don't know there are other ways to deal with stress then food.

[gowalking 10,790]

Well I think that we all know what happens when we don't stick with the plan. Its easier to do then people think. Once they get the band they think life is easy and in no way is this process easy. It can be all but frustrating at times. Especially in the maintenance phase when you are at goal. You think it will be easy but its not. I think anyone who is contemplating WLS should have their emotions in check because there will always be hard times that one can't deal with. I focus on my writing the most when I am stressed. When I have no other way to express myself I write. The second year that I was banded I pumped out three books, published them and started on two more. Some people need a way to channel their emotions but we used food for so long that they don't know there are other ways to deal with stress then food.

That's exactly what I'm referring to Cheryl! How do we find other ways to cope with stress that are not destructive to our weight loss/maintenance journeys? What a great outlet you have by being able to write. Maybe I should start another thread with suggestions for handling stress without turning to food as we have done in the past. Any suggestions out there?

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

hey go walking aka taco princess

thanks for posting a wonderful thread

and if you make another thread for suggestions, i hope everyone reads it

Well I think that we all know what happens when we don't stick with the plan. Its easier to do then people think. Once they get the band they think life is easy and in no way is this process easy. It can be all but frustrating at times. Especially in the maintenance phase when you are at goal. You think it will be easy but its not. I think anyone who is contemplating WLS should have their emotions in check because there will always be hard times that one can't deal with. I focus on my writing the most when I am stressed. When I have no other way to express myself I write. The second year that I was banded I pumped out three books, published them and started on two more. Some people need a way to channel their emotions but we used food for so long that they don't know there are other ways to deal with stress then food.

That's exactly what I'm referring to Cheryl! How do we find other ways to cope with stress that are not destructive to our weight loss/maintenance journeys? What a great outlet you have by being able to write. Maybe I should start another thread with suggestions for handling stress without turning to food as we have done in the past. Any suggestions out there?

[Lady VS 1,147]

I too have noticed this as well. I'm just trying to figure out how one can eat so much regardless as to the amount of restriction you have. It's all about mindset. You just have to make yourself stay disciplined. It's not easy but you can get through any stressful situation without overeating. I have noticed that when I'm stressed, I can't eat. Thanks to my band. I can only do liquids. So I can't even imagine eating too much.

[B-52 7,113]

I too have noticed this as well. I'm just trying to figure out how one can eat so much regardless as to the amount of restriction you have. It's all about mindset. You just have to make yourself stay disciplined. It's not easy but you can get through any stressful situation without overeating. I have noticed that when I'm stressed, I can't eat. Thanks to my band. I can only do liquids. So I can't even imagine eating too much.

Same here...the band always saves me from "Backsliding" and "Stress Eating" that after time it is no longer a option....but then, it is adjustable and everyone operates a little differently...

[SpartanPrincess 82]

Great post!