I need to vent!

[ladyd728 106]

Be offended, be upset, and you can slap yourself for being ignorant. It may have been harsh but it is the truth. There is nothing wrong with counseling or medication. Just like there was nothing wrong with US having bariatric surgery. Keep dealing with that rude child or fix the problem. Or we could've stayed FAT but we dealt with the problem. Since we didn't deal with it earlier in life. When a person use the word defiant, there is a major problem in the home. I have never used that word before for my son (never). When a child is defiant that child need meds or counseling and maybe both. When I left the hospital my teenage son was a lot of help, that first week you don't need much. All I needed was my pain meds and someone to finish Christmas shopping for me. My mom did assist with that and my fiance. She knew she wasn't going to get any help with him around the house the reason she reached out to her disabled mom...smh

There is a problem here because if there wasn't, this lady wouldn't have wrote her issue on this forum. She didn't have to say a lot but she said enough.

So many people hate the truth and walk on egg shells around their children. Go right ahead and make up all those excuses for your children and act like there isn't a problem. Don't go wondering what's wrong when they get grown and they have problems dealing with conflict.

I wish everyone well during their recovery or maintenance stages of this journey.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Or how about when children grow up to be adults who appear to have little social awareness and are uneccesarily harsh in the delivery of their opinion?

If deploying playground level psycho-babble is the order of the day here, then maybe - and this is just a thought - that those with little social awareness and an apparent inability to tailor their communications to their audience, may, themselves, have required a 'softer, more understanding hand' when they were growing up?

Who knows? It might have cultivated a more measured, inclusive and empathetic attitude?

With a few more hugs and words of gentle encouragement, it could then have prevented the somewhat disproportionately aggressive high-handed judgement and advice intoned on others - no matter how well intentioned - and allow for the fostering of effective and warm relations with all participants? Not, as it appears, for it to have been delivered out of frustrated aggression which has ultimately undermined the core tenets and value of what has been said and affected the social marginalisation of the message bearer?

Now there's a thought...

Right. Time for my smoking jacket, warm fire, Freud compendium and slippers, methinks....

[ladyd728 106]

Oh, now everyone on here must be people pleasers. I should have said... Oh, I'm sooo sorry you are going through what you are going through. It will get better and that child will learn to listen to what he is told. It may not happen now but one day he will. Keep your head up!!!.

This is America, which means I have the right to say whatever I want. It's not my problem it is hers. Enough said moving forward and get a life with that dumb pic.

Edited February 9, 2014 by ladyd728

[ladyd728 106]

Nothing is going to make me change my mind on what I said. They can take the advise or not. The way I was raised was wonderful. I'm excellent on my job 13 years in the medical field. I know how to communicate with people and when to do so but once again this isn't my problem, it is hers and she will have to live with it.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

And..... I rest my case.....

[WildGrits 101]

I am actually sitting here with my mouth agape by the incredibly uncompassionate things being said here.

I cannot imagine what would possess someone to come to a place of support and treat people in such a manner. How shameful.

[HotButterFly 981]

Madam, EXCELLENT comment. I love the way you nuked little-miss-inappropriate ;) but of course it went wayyyy over her MD head (she did said she's a doctor, didn't she?) CLEARLY, BANDits get a lapband around their stomach, not their BRAIN.... Much less their hearts. It's obvious someone SELF MEDICATES.

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

A gentle reminder, before this goes further south, that we can disagree and not make personal attacks on each other. No, we don't have to all be warm and fuzzy and agree with everything that's said. Constructive criticism is welcome (or should be anyway), personal attacks are not.

[ladyd728 106]

I'm so happy that I have gotten everyones attention in this situation. This woman came on here saying the child is VERY...her words...VERY defiant..I didn't say that she did. I have given my opinion and my advise on what she should/could do for him. You all got upset with the counseling and medication and that is fine, but it was advise. When your doctor suggested medication or for you to seek surgery for losing weight did you get upset THEN. Since everyone is so concerned for this woman, you all need to say something encouraging to her and leave me alone. Get on your knees and pray for her, her child, her mom and for God to soften my "heart".

Please say something to this lady because she wanted advise not me. She doesn't have to seek counseling or meds if she didn't think he need it. But I'm sure a big brother program or the boycotts wouldn't hurt either. He is not doing neither one because if he was, he wouldn't be fussing back at the grandmother like he is two. He would know not to talk back and to accept what was being said. Once again we let children run our lives and we blame the adult.

This is your world I'm just passing through.

[HotButterFly 981]

We understand, lady7000, your life and child are so perfect you need to come here and create discourse and spew the same things OVERRRRRRRRR and OVERRRRRRRR and OVERRRRRRR again. You're on the wrong forum. We are all "beneath" you with all you knowledge and your 13 years working as a doctor so just go <~~~~~~ thata way and maybe we can get back to what's important.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Okay, no one stated they were a doctor...

Lets follow SoccerMom's advice, shall we?

Edited February 9, 2014 by Madam Reverie

[krps0930 125]

I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?....sorry, seemed to have some anger building up on here and I thought I'd try to lighten the mood....I may need meds now... :-)

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Again, let's just agree to disagree. I'm not disagreeing with either message, I'm disagreeing with how they are being presented. If you have an issue with each other, either suck it up and get over it, or take off the public boards. This argument is of no value what so ever to the OP. Both sides have had their say, it's time to drop it or at least return it to a more respectful level.

[KristinaRnY 455]

Slap myself for being ignorant? I'm not the one on the internet prescribing medication for people I have never met. So doc what do you prescribe for a defiant child? Some Benadryl? Make em take a nap? :rolls eyes:

[pquinn181 21]

eyoung, hope you recover quickly so you and your son can get back to your routine in your home. Your mom really means well and loves you both, but this situation is difficult for all of you. I'm not going to give you any advice just a sympathetic ear. Hang in there!