Sick of Chocolate and Vanlla Shakes, and SO MUCH MORE!

[Carmen1963 27]

It was cold and windy today....so I walked slowly around Kroger/King Soopers for almost 2 hours. I was released from the hospital this Wednesday. Main things I needed were these Protein shots/bullets around 3oz 26g protein, zero carbs. The are not super sweet, fruit flavored, can easily get it in on the go. Kroger has them on sale for $1.88 normally over $2.50. Sometimes I throw it in my 32 oz sipping glass with ice. The shot liquid is clear.

I can't do the choc and vanilla shakes every day. Kind of grosses me out with how sweet they taste, even if I dilute them with skim.

Right now I really like is Unjurys flavor called Naked.

I made myself some meatless and cheese less tortilla Soup. I added a half cup of finely diced onion cooked to clear to 2 bottles of costco chicken stock and diced a bunch of baby carrots to put in and also put in 2 tbls Pace picante medium and 2 heaping tbls fire roasted tomatoes diced, garlic salt.

I let that cook for a little over an hour so some flavor could develop.

Tomorrow I'll add some powders? utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury unflavored protein and blend it.

No cheese on top maybe a few slices of really ripe avocado,or maybe just dream about it. Since I'm not cleared for solids yet. I'll let you know how it tastes.

My bariatric Super Bowl treat.

I hope you all are having a good feeling day!

Are you burnt out on choc and vanilla like I am? :-) Those protein bullets have helped me in the past couple of days.

I am tired tonight. I did laundry, took out the trash, fed the dogs, checked the mail, made beds, did the laundry and got into a fight with my husband. He promised to kick in extra around the house and support me. Really has not happened. He was rude and selfish yesterday.

He said he supported this surgery and would do whatever it took to help me succeed.

I got fed up and called him out on it. Words vs. Actions.

I do not normally lose my temper or call him out on ANYTHING.

(I need to clarify that he had a liver transplant last June, recovered from that with some complications last September.

I have taken care of him daily and willingly since.

In fact I have willingly cared for him through 2 broken hips, a broken shoulder, a broken wrist and a severely fractured leg below the knee. All within the last 5 years.

Yes. Hope that paints the picture without my having to spell it out. I have put his needs before my own.)

That changed inside me when my surgery became a reality.

NOW. IS MY TIME.

I have to take care of myself first. It is my time.

We've only been married since 2009.

I've given everything I have to this marriage, financially, emotionally, my mental health, my physical health and relocated 1700 miles from my family.

Can you say codependent/enabler?

Not any more. IT IS MY TIME. I come first.

Actually, the beginning of change is when I made and met my insurance requirements step by step in the past couple of months and the foundations I've laid along the way in the past two years.

My self confidence has grown with each thing I've added to make sure I'm supported and successful in this bariatric journey.

*Personal counseling started 2 years ago *CODA Meetings *Bariatric support group meetings in person - which are FUN! *Online support *Behavior Modification support group and individual therapy with psychologist who specializes in bariatrics. *Walking. *Family and Friends support, even though they are far away.

I've lost 15 pounds total since 1/25/14.

But I have gained so much more.

My personal boundaries are getting stronger!

My self esteem is getting stronger!

My sense of self is becoming more clear.

Something inside me has clicked.

Really clicked in this process of getting the surgery done.

I can only IMAGINE the future full of my choices and needs, where that road will go.

This the good selfish I've never really known.

IT IS MY TIME....and this is just the beginning.

Sorry for the long rambling post, clearly it started as a personal response to how I feel 5 days out from surgery - and my boredom with chocolate and Vanilla Shakes.

Thanks for listening. Clearly, much much more is going on.

PS- My husband apologized before going to bed. He promised I could lean on him. He promised to do better. He's sorry he's been a selfish jerk the past 2 days. Ad infinitum.

PPS-This woman is going to care for herself bud, first. Get used to it.

Edited February 2, 2014 by Carmen1963

[lynn2win 142]

Good for you...I too proclaim 2014 as the year for good change and a positive outlook...continue on your success

[Danni-doinit4me 140]

Good luck to you!! And yes, take care of yourself first!!!!!!!!

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Claim it girl!!!! Sounds to me this surgery did more than remove 85% of your stomach. Sounds like the doctor must have left some fortitude, self-discipline, self-esteem, and some MOXEY where your stomach used to be. Its admirable that you have done so much for your husband but it sounds like your entire marriage has been one of you being the nurse-maid to him. This is your year to get healthy physically, psychologically and emotionally. Don't let others derail you. Proud of you!!!

[zumbagal 17]

Carmen-your train is on the right track. You are doing you and are focused. Don't let the spousal issues derail your progress. You will see him in your rear view mirror running down the tracks trying to catch up with you and your progress. Stay strong!!!

[shockley2589 4]

Hie Carmen