Family and Recovery

[SparkleCat 521]

I just told my mother that I am planning on getting the Sleeve in April. She had a lot of question and basically went from thinking it way too drastic a step to understanding my reasons for taking having the surgery and supporting me in my decision. I live by myself in Denver (no spouse or sig. other) and my Mom lives in Texas. She wants to drive up to Denver for my surgery and recovery. While I absolutely love her for this...I am concerned that having my Mom try to wait on me is going to get annoying really quickly. I would hate for her to drive all that way only to possibly get her feelings hurt by her cranky post-op daughter.

In the week after surgery did y'all need/ appreciate help from well meaning loved ones or was it an annoyance? What did that do that was super helpful? Basically, if she is coming, I would love to give her an idea of what I will need and appreciate and what will be intrusive?

Edited January 31, 2014 by SparkleCat

[MsK1972 112]

Trust me unless she's just too much you want here there. Your recovery may be flawless but if it's not having someone there to tell you it's going to be alright and support you when you have an anxiety attack, or has pain or vomiting will be priceless. Support is key ...your mind will tell you you want steak & gravy but your body will tell you the opposite and that could make you sad. I was okay with it..I fortunately didn't get depressed but I've heard stories. Just to be on the safe side let her come ..it couldn't hurt.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Your mom's reaction was like my dad's...He just couldn't understand why I would want to do this to myself and was so concerned. Now, 11 weeks after surgery, he is so happy for me and asks questions about my diet and how I'm eating. He will ask me if something didn't agree with me because he can tell I'm uncomfortable - something he wouldn't have noticed before. He now calls it a necessary medical procedure - he didn't think of it that way before.

As far as caregiving - I needed and wanted someone around me the first 4-5 days. Not to wait on me hand and foot, but offer support. While I recovered quickly and had no complications, it was nice to have my husband right by my side - he could make those quick trips to the store to get the different kind of Water or whatever I needed.

If my caregiver was my mom, she would have driven me crazy, but I would have appreciated her there with me.

Good luck!

[scarlet333 386]

The only real help i needed was driving since i was not aloud to drive for the first 10 days or so. No vomiting and very little pain. Best of luck.

[Carlotta1 401]

I did not need anyone post surgery.. However, my daughter checked on me the first couple of days , during the day, till my husband returned from work. You would need someone to drive u back from the hospital . If imy daughter was having surgery I would absolutely want to be there. Think of yourself lucky that u have such a caring mother. btw. My dr did not want me to be alone the first couple of days just in case.

[mickally 95]

I needed the support, just knowing someone was close by was helpful. That being said I did get annoyed and testy at times but my support people understood and took it with a grain of salt.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I would have loved for my mom to have been there...but that is never to be...

but my (now) husband was and he was wonderful... he works at night, so he was there during the day when I needed him most to run errands; like getting meds, food, etc., and he'd get back home as I was falling asleep...

I don't remember being "short" with him at any time, but I may have been... overall I was tired more than anything, and just knowing that someone was there "just in case" really does make you feel better... as long as she understands not to be "in your face" about stuff, it's all good ... you know your relationship best... it sounds like it would be a very good thing for her to be there for you, it is surgery after all!

[SandeeD 363]

While my mom supports my decision and understands why I'm doing this, she is very nervous. I can't and don't really talk much about it around her because again, she supports me, but talking about it makes her uneasy (she has a history of panic attacks). For that reason, she will not be at the hospital when I have the surgery, which I am totally fine with. I don't think I can handle what I'm going to be feeling and at the same time worry about how it's effecting her too. She's wants to know when it's going to happen and when I begin recovery, then she'll want to know all of the gory details (once she knows her baby is ok - her words, not mine! lol). So, my big sister will be there with me and my niece (her daughter). Between the two of them I will be well taken care of for the first week or so, oh - and mom will come and visit too of course!

With that said, I think you should do what will makes you feel comfortable. Whatever you do, just forewarn your caregiver that you will be in pain and your emotions will be all over the place, so don't take it personally.

[SparkleCat 521]

Thank y'all! I am completely thankful that my mother loves me and worries about me (she said she couldn't imagine sitting at home 3 states away while I was in surgery)...and, truth be told, I would love someone to take care of things around my tiny house while I may feel like crap.

I just don't want to worry about entertaining her or keeping her busy or being "nice" all the time. Also, my house is teeny tiny...one bedroom, small living room, small kitchen and bathroom...We will be stepping all over each other.

I am blessed to have a mother and a father who love and support me...so I really should stop worrying and be thankful!

(Oh No!! What if my Dad decides he has to come too???....I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!