Need Talking Off the Ledge

[krps0930 125]

I think we have all felt the way you are feeling.. at 67 years of age I wondered what I was thinking when I decided to get a lapband. but, after a year and losing 60 lbs I am so happy I went through with it.. the night before my surgery I really thought about backing out.. my best friend came to be with me and she said what will you do if you don't have this surgery? She reminded me of all the diets and gimmicks I had tried through the years and how my health was steadily declining. You will have some days of thinking "why did I do this" but after you start losing those pounds and feeling so much better it will be worth it.. I promise you. We are all here to help you .

Thank you Sharpie...you are such an inspiration and I truly appreciate you sharing your story

[krps0930 125]

Everyone has said such great things on this thread. All so true! The other day I was talking about my lapband to someone who asked me why I just didn't eat smaller amounts...like I do with the lapband...without the surgery? And I told him that it just wasn't realistic for me to do so, because of the HUNGER.

I think this is WLS's strongest line of defense. When you dim the appetite, you greatly reduce the chances of food abuse. (Let's set aside eating for reasons other than appetite in this discussion.) I was a volume eater, not an emotional one, so the lapband has helped me in ways a traditional diet never could longterm.

Everything you are feeling right now as a pre-op most of us have felt. I did a lot of blog writing up to the date of my surgery, and one of the posts I wrote talks about how I refused to give in to my urge to do Weight Watchers "just one more time." I'd done WW a billion times, with always the same (failing) endgame. So to delay my surgery to see if I could go the non-surgical route "just one more time?" So glad I didn't chicken out. I'm already regretting I didn't do WLS earlier...I can only imagine if I had delayed this a year more or so...yikes. I'd surely be fatter than ever right now, instead of down 53 pounds since last March. (I'm a slow loser compared with many on here but I'm fine with that.)

Oh parisshel, the wonderful weight watchers journies...like you, I have thrown away money and everything else, but the weight, to WW...The constant failure of every diet is one of the reasons I am the biggest I have ever been - it wasn't the diet that was the main problem, it was the failure...I am an emotional eater and every time I fell off the Wagon of the next best diet, I would eat like I was never going to get fed again...Thank you for your words..it is so helpful to know that all of the wonderful people on here can relate to what I am feeling. So grateful!

[krps0930 125]

My surgey date is 2/19/14. I couldn't be more excited about the procedure for this tool. The biggest factor in this is ME making the decision to take control.

I too am 5'10". I weigh 289. I used to weigh 266. 156.etc.. You back out of this you'll be 289! This isn't about OTHER people and what they think. They aren't you!

Do YOU and get to happy!

God Bless!

Starfish n coffee

Thanks Starfish! Our surgeries are five days apart and I look forward to hearing about your journey. I love your attitude and strength about this...I am going to do my best to do ME! :-)

[krps0930 125]

....you are very attractive right this moment and i know that the person is a scared female whose past dieting attempts has made her doubt herself......i know as that was me also 19 months ago....

This just made me cry...Thank you for your kind words - I can remember I used to think I was attractive...The sad part is that I look the same except for the weight - it has morphed me into this negative person who doesn't want to go in public....you pegged my feelings perfectly and I truly appreciate how you related to my situation...I can't thank you enough.

[krps0930 125]

I think many of us had the same fear; will this work, or be yet another failed attempt to lose weight? Only with surgery, the stakes are much higher because it is a drastic step to take. But at 10 months out, and 63 pounds lost, it is the best decision I have ever made. That, and marrying my wonderful husband

My best advice, from my own experience is.....continually work on your head while you move through the pre and post op diets, and during the time it takes to get the proper band adjustment. I would venture to say that all of us here have failed hundreds of diet attempts. If we were good at it, we wouldn't have resorted to WLS. I felt the same as you.....what if I fail? And months out, I have done some mindless eating, and paused my weight loss for a few weeks. But the band (I have plication too), jumps in and helps me stop before I go off on a binge like I used to be able to do. The band isn't our obstacle; it's our brain. Even with the band, you still have to fight the fight. But it's a heck of a lot easier!! I'm so thankful for this tool......wish I'd done it sooner. But we do things when we're truly ready, and 10 months later, I'm only 12 pounds from my goal. Even with some slips here & there. With the band, it's so much easier to get back on track. THAT was the missing piece for me before surgery.

Take a deep breath - you will be fine. I can't wait to hear more about your progress. Please keep posting

Great advice, Thank you! Congratulations on your weight loss...how inspiring! I considered plication also, but thought I should start with the band and then go from there. Thanks again!

[krps0930 125]

What you're feeling is totally normal. You've gotten some great responses here!

The night before my surgery, I didn't sleep a wink wondering what the hell I was doing!! When I got to the hospital, I even told my husband I changed my mind. I just didn't have any faith in myself that I could actually make this work! I've failed how many times before, why would this be any different?? Well, here I am just a few days from being one year out, and I'm down a total of 136lbs! I reached my '2 year' goal in just 9 months. It sounds unreal to even say that! The band has really, truly changed my life. Unlike other 'diet's, the band is with us forever, constantly reminding us of our destination. We can't just take it off, or cancel our membership...it's here to stay!

I guess if there's one piece of advice to give you, it's to just believe in yourself. Tell yourself you can, and you will do this!! You know it's not going to be easy, it's going to take effort, and you can't expect to come out of surgery and magically be thin (darn, that would be nice, though! haha)! Just take the journey one day at a time. Be proud of every ounce you lose, and Celebrate every non scale victory, no mater how small it may seem!

In the words of Jillian Michaels... "Fear will go away, but regret is forever". You can do this!!

You are such an inspiration! I think I may just print your post out and tape it to my mirror for a reminder of what I can accomplish! A big congratulations to you on your loss, that is awesome!

[krps0930 125]

You sound like I did and if you weren't experiencing these feelings, it wouldn't be normal. This journey is as much a mental effort as it is physical. There are stages in this process that you have to process in your own way, on your own time and you are now in the "second thought" stage, which coincides with the "fear of complications" stage. I must tell you that the fear of complications stage will not go away until after you're on the other side. There will always be something to make you wonder if you're doing the right thing, I know it was a constant nagging thought for me. Now that I'm banded and am successful with it, I only regret that I didn't do it sooner and that I allowed fear to consume me as much as it had. You will be successful. Know how I know? You are asking questions now and getting advice from people who have been where you are. Keep a positive outlook, your life will change for the better in so many ways once you start shedding those unhealthy pounds.

Thank you so much! Everyone on here is making me realize that I am human and it is okay to have some doubt...I am beyond grateful for this forum.

[krps0930 125]

All of the above posts have pretty much said it all.

Nerves are normal...this is a huge decision that is going to be life long.

I was banded (w/plication) on 9/19 and I am feeling wonderful both physically and mentally. food no longer controls me (although it still gets the best of me on occasion...i am only human after all) One thing I remind myself of daily is that this is not a quick fix to being overweight for my entire life. This is a day to day process with some ups and downs along the way.

I'm enjoying my life and Im enjoying my life not always focused on whats going into my mouth next. I have found success by NOT depriving myself of anything as long as it does not upset my band...and so far the only thing I can say is uncomfortable are Triscuit crackers. This is a lifestyle and NOT a diet anymore. I choose to make better food choices and sometimes I will treat myself with a bite of something "special"...and Im okay with that...In the past it would have been the whole darn thing.

Well, my one big piece of advice is too hang in there...after the surgery I had several days of "buyers remorse" and cried and cried about "what did i do to myself". With a super supportive hubby I got past those days...part of it was fear and part was feeling crappy after surgery. But every day that passed I felt better and better...and as the weeks passed I learned what i was supposed to do...there is a big learning curve here so be sure to cut yourself some slack...you will NOT be perfect...I dont believe anyone is...I surely am not.

But it has been the best decision I have ever made and I just purchased my first pair of size 16 skinny jeans (actually 4 of them...lol)....probably havent had a pair of jeans since college....and am happy to be throwing out my stretch pants.

This forum is amazing and you will find some truly SPECTACULAR AND GENUINE AND KIND people here....find those that support you and follow them.

We are ALL in this together....and noone truly knows how all this feels unless you have gone through it yourself.

Wishing you all the success in the world...keep us posted on all that is happening....good luck!

Wow, every post I read from amazing people like yourself makes me want to cry! I feel uplifted and ready for my life to change for the better. Thank you so much!

[krps0930 125]

I think the doubt is a normal part of this process. What you are about to do is a BIG step & I think evaluating & re-evaluting is a prudent thing to do.

I have to admit, I did have a little bit of a breakdown a few days after surgery as well, questioning what I had done to myself.

I am 2 years out now, down nearly 100 lbs & I can tell you it was the BEST decision I ever made.

Just be realistic - the band is a tool and not a magic wand. As soon as you internalize this & accept that the band alone will not be enough, you have to do your part.. the better off you'll be. Follow the guidelines & the lbs will come off!

Thanks Steph and congratulations on your loss!

[krps0930 125]

I am sure that we all felt that way. You have to realize that yes you can fail but that should make you determined not to. It's not easy by far and you have to work at it. Just think about all the harm your body is going through not doing it. Think about how nice it will be to wear regular clothes and walk with your head held high. Think about how you won't fail instead of failing. You are getting the house now you will be responsible for the interior decorating. You will realize all the good healthy food you missed while filling your body with poison. I think if all of us can do it then so can you. Get out of the pity party and get excited about your new life you will have about a year from now.

Cheryl, in all the posts I read from you, I am so appreciative of your straight forward way of communicating. It makes me feel challenged and ready for this journey, so thank you very much for your feedback!

[krps0930 125]

krps0930,

I just want to echo something that carolinagirl said. Looking at your profile picture you are an attractive woman and have a lot to look forward to. I know it's hard looking in the mirror sometimes, I struggled with that and said negative things about myself, but you need to focus on the positive and appreciate yourself and the good things you are doing for yourself. I hated looking at myself in pictures, but when we took family pictures for Christmas I had lost about 50 pounds and was finally starting to like what I saw again. I am sure you will have a similar experience as you take this journey.

Again, thank you Brant...such kind words...I do hope to be like you and like what I see looking back at me...I do believe there is a beautiful person trapped under all of this weight...Thank you again - everyone on here inspires me to take this journey one day at a time and enjoy what I hope to be a new lease on life!

[Bandista 7,466]

So glad to have stumbled on this thread tonight! You are reminding me how powerful it is to choose ourselves first, to make this decision for a happy, healthy future. I feel like I am showing up for my life in a new way now. It's not just this initial weight loss (I am almost three months out) but the increase in self esteem I feel as a result of having the band. I think I was very worn down by the nemesis of an unrelenting appetite and the negative feelings of no self control. Shame and despair. All those failed attempts were weighing me down and I felt a hopelessness that has lifted. I am still sorting out the nuances of banded life. It can take a little while post-surgery before getting to the green zone, but having done this I have the confidence that it is all working. I am changing my lifestyle and that is going to take a bit of time and retraining. Having the band makes that possible. Sending you very best wishes!

[mrsto 2,925]

So glad to have stumbled on this thread tonight! You are reminding me how powerful it is to choose ourselves first, to make this decision for a happy, healthy future. I feel like I am showing up for my life in a new way now. It's not just this initial weight loss (I am almost three months out) but the increase in self esteem I feel as a result of having the band. I think I was very worn down by the nemesis of an unrelenting appetite and the negative feelings of no self control. Shame and despair. All those failed attempts were weighing me down and I felt a hopelessness that has lifted. I am still sorting out the nuances of banded life. It can take a little while post-surgery before getting to the green zone, but having done this I have the confidence that it is all working. I am changing my lifestyle and that is going to take a bit of time and retraining. Having the band makes that possible. Sending you very best wishes!

Bandista - exactly.....EVERYthing you said!

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

Krps I just want to make a suggestion what you do with it is your choice , but before you go if you do I would ask my Doc. if you can do the plication after being banded , or if it would be better to do it when he/she does the band , also I for one don't have gerd or hearburn or acid reflux anymore since my Doc. also did my hiatal hernia , so these are just suggestions , like I said if I would have known about the plication I would have looked into that more but I am happy just being banded, and you can click on our pics and see the diffrences , it also took a long while for e to notice that I was looking smaller, I just didn't see what everybody else was commenting on or seeing, so again good luck on your decision, weather you do or do not go through with .