Sorry, I have to vent!

[Kimber-lilly 2]

I just had my band placed on 9-2--been home recouping, etx. My mom lives about 7 miles away and kept my 5 year old son while I was in hosp. and lugged him to school, etx. She does that if I need her to about once every three months, but ONLY if I ask.

So, today is beautiful and I asked her if she wanted to go to Walmart, since I needed to pick up some stuff and she said yes--so off we went, my son, me and my mom. All is pleasant and fine, which it usually is...but lately, especially this summer, she has been firing some real zingers at me and at one point I called her on it and she apologized and admitted she was wrong and all was well after that.

So, there we were, meandering the aisles at Wal-dom, and she picks up a pair of industrial strength reinforced panty girdle panty things and sais (this is verbatim) "I want you to start wearing these".

I was so Pissed! I immediately said "what?' I just had surgery and I would appreciate a little time getting my self back together".

I also told her she wouldn't EVER say that to my SIL, whom she adores, and she said "yes I would", and I said "well, you shouldn't!".

She said she did n't know why I was so bent out of shape about it--she is NOT thin, has terrible eating habits and only loses weight for events in her life, not her life.

Would you be peeved? Or am I oversensitive, which she also said I was?

Kimberly

[New Hope 37]

Does she know that you were banded? It sounds like there might be a little jealousy involved there, because you are trying to get healthier. How old is she? Does she have any stress or health problems going on right now? Please try to overlook this. I know that had to hurt, but don't let this put you in a nosedive. You have already begun a journey to an improved, healthier you. You will succeed! In a few months, maybe you can give her your old "too big" clothes, since they'll be too big for you. P. S. A few years ago, my mom mailed the kids some back to school clothes and included a pair of "Big Mama" brand panty hose for me. Grrrrrr. Since that was pre-band, I probably headed for the kitchen and pigged out at that point.

[leatha_g 4]

Actually. Perception is everything. There are some real nice panties out these days that are lycra with a reinforced tummy. I absolutely love them and won't wear anything else. I feel like they keep me 'together'. I have only worn this type of panty for at least the past 10 yrs. Regular nylon or cotton panties leave me feeling as if everything is loose and jiggling. It may be that she was trying to share something with you that she has found to make her feel better? By some, these panties are percieved as a panty girdle type thing, but they're really just a panty with more control. They're a bit more expensive but well worth the price in how you feel in your clothes, and look.

Even if her intent wasn't the best, maybe you could re-frame the situation and try some for yourself. You might actually love them. Then you both win!

Just my 2 cents..

Leatha

[New Hope 37]

Then when they get too big for you, you can give them to her.

[La_madam 20]

My 2 cents

I was very sensitive for about 2 weeks after surgery. I think it was the anasthesia and the lack of food..but I remember it very well. I took everything that was said to me the wrong way. My poor hubby during those 2 weeks...so it could be just all of that..Or as I always tell my kids "its not what you say...it's how you say it". Maybe her intentions were good but it was how she said it that offended you.

[Kimber-lilly 2]

After I posted this, I wondered if she is, indeed a smidge jealous. She is 68, still works full time and wished out loud at least once, that she could have the procedure, too.

I know putting things into perspective is helpful and I appreciate all your comments. I took a step back and decided to let it go for now---i just could not believe her timing and gall! Nothing like saying "hey, you really look like crap, try these!". I do lots of nice things for her--coordinate her wardrobe, bought her a new car, ya know, stuff, and I guess I just expected a little more support than she is able to give up.

Onward and downward!

Kimberly

[New Hope 37]

Well, you're now 13.8 pounds of crap lighter! That's fantastic in a very, very short period of time.

Who knows, you may inspire her to follow in your footsteps!