Trying to kid myself out of having the surgery

[Noor1969 150]

Hello Everyone,

So, I'm halfway through my third week of the preop diet (I was only supposed to do 2 weeks, but insurance is dragging their feet on my authorization, so my surgeon wants me to stay on it), and so far I've lost 13 pounds. Pretty good, huh? But now some strange thoughts are running through my mind. Because I'm doing so well on the preop diet, I've been fooling myself into thinking that if I just continue with what I've been doing, I won't need to have the surgery in the first place. Never mind that I lost 60 pounds with HCG last year and have gained it all back. Never mind that I have ALWAYS gained my weight back (plus more) whenever I've been on a diet. Never mind that I'm a hardcore compulsive overeater that can eat enough for 3 people. Never mind that I can't live on Protein shakes, green veggies, and egg whites forever. I'm still trying to kid myself into thinking that I can "do it on my own." My insurance has paid for all of the preop tests, so besides a few copays, I wouldn't even be losing any money by not having the surgery.

I KNOW this makes no sense and I'm being completely unrealistic. I KNOW that I am setting myself up for failure as proven by my past "success" with dieting. I KNOW that the sleeve will have numerous benefits for me, both emotionally and physically. But there's still a little voice in the back of my head saying, "What if?"

It's not about being "ready" to have the surgery. I have a great surgeon, have educated myself thoroughly on the procedure, and am comfortable with any risks or complications that I may or may not have. I just hate feeling this way when I know it's just an exercise in futility.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I'm sorry but I found your exercise in what ifs adorable......I think you know yourself very well. I think you know exactly what is best for you..And I think that you will go forward and actually lick this addiction by putting in its place...

One point I would like to mention if you don't mind is that you said you are comfortable with any risks or complications that you may or may not have.......................I beg to differ...NO one is ready for complications or especially extreme complications...I know I have lived with them for over a year so far and a picnic it is not.................

Just pray for an easy sail through this surgery so you can enjoy the journey instead of surviving it...

All the best to you and a great mindset!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BigGirlPanties 957]

Any surgery is scary...especially when you get more time to think about it...

but "what if" you don't get the surgery and continue to gain weight; "what if" from gaining weight you encounter other health problems... you can play the "what if" game forever on both sides... but YOU have to be ready for this, you do have to make changes in your lifestyle... YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

[Allan Cameron 98]

I too what if'd for years, probably put off having this surgery 20 years of more, then I got Kidney Cancer, lost my left Kidney, and now I have Gout on top of High Blood Pressure... Things were starting to pile up, got the surgery done last June, I've lost over 120 lbs (much higher starting weight than you, but hey) and I'm walking everywhere. I feel soo much better, I'm in a good mood almost all of the time (too good of a mood sometimes). Still not doing cafine, but most of my coworkers think I'm drinking double shots of esspresso. Life is fun again, and eating is not a war zone between my head and my gut anymore.

After surgery you will still be on a diet, of sorts. And some foods you used to like, well you will have to see if you still like them, it is all kinda weird for awhile. I ate steak for the first time in seven months this last week. Still seems odd that I can only eat a small portion of a steak when I used to be able to gobble down two or more... You seem to really know yourself, I wasn't happy with myself, my health wasn't happy with me, I had to get the surgery. As you yourself know, you have to answer these questions and make these decissions...we are just here to support you whatever you decide.

[Recycled 2,182]

I sometimes have difficultly with support groups because they can be enabling. I wasn't even gonna comment on your post, cause I'd probably get flamed by a dozen others. Ya know, "if you can't say something good or supportive don't say anything".

But here it is. This surgery is serious. they are removing organs from your body. Complications can happen. And whatever the outcome, it's permanent. All this and it will still demand the most effort from you to be successful in the long term. My opinion means nothing, but I just feel based on your present viewpoint, you're not ready. Everybody is not right for this surgery. Have you been to the shrink yet. Most approvals require it. Maybe that should be your next step. Good luck with your choice.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Recycled

[kathp 81]

Pre-op nerves are normal. I understand where Recycled is coming from in terms of "not everyone being ready" - there's a lot of people who have it, thinking it's the easy way out (despite all the pre-op education) and then are surprised by the outcome. Yes, complications can happen and they're no joke. It's dang permanent to have the majority of your stomach yanked out. But I've lost a lot of weight. I lost almost 60 lbs pre-op, (I had 6 months diet and exercise required by insurance) and really got questioned by everyone. I've been at a standstill for about three months because bad habits are creeping back in - and I'm still less than a year out from surgery. So the surgery was the right decision for me.

And I had "mental" complications, and doubts. And believed I could do it. But if you did your homework, and have a good support system (a big if, and a MAJOR necessity, in my opinion) and plan to follow the rules (do not be planning your next pizza, please), go for it. You will feel better. You can be successful. Obesityhelp reposted a bunch of articles from a therapist on "why weight loss surgery fails" and they were great. If you haven't read them, though, that might be a good idea. The first one talks about the mental piece. And the next one talks about unrealistic expectations. Go to their website and search for the topic. It's a 4 part series, I think. But don't stop your pre-op diet at this point - if you do, your insurance will make you start over! Keep your options open.

Good luck.

[Noor1969 150]

I sometimes have difficultly with support groups because they can be enabling. I wasn't even gonna comment on your post, cause I'd probably get flamed by a dozen others. Ya know, "if you can't say something good or supportive don't say anything".

But here it is. This surgery is serious. they are removing organs from your body. Complications can happen. And whatever the outcome, it's permanent. All this and it will still demand the most effort from you to be successful in the long term. My opinion means nothing, but I just feel based on your present viewpoint, you're not ready. Everybody is not right for this surgery. Have you been to the shrink yet. Most approvals require it. Maybe that should be your next step. Good luck with your choice.

Yes, I realize how serious this is. And I realize complications can happen. I have been to the psych eval and passed with flying colors. I was only stating a concern as to whether or not I would/would not be able to lose weight "on my own." Thanks for your opinion.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

the sleeve is a "tool"...in essence, you still have to lose the weight "on your own"... eating properly and exersize is still important...but it will be easier with the surgery. I had RA, so I couldn't move and my weight escalated; now I can walk without my cane/walker if it's not a LONG walk ....

IMO, I would not have changed a thing, except to have done it sooner. It's all up to you

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

You should be asking yourself these questions. I think you know the answers. You probably can lose the weight you need to if you stay on the diet you are on now. but how long will it last? I can only speak to my experience and that was the question I asked myself. I was a professional dieter. I did lose a considerable amount of weight on my own and gained it back... several times. I had a big appetite and my portions were out of control. That is what I needed the help with. And for me, the sleeve was the answer. I'm not tired or bored with this "diet" and for me, that has been a key element and the one that I believe will make the difference this time around.

I'm physically satisfied with less now. The sleeve cannot stop you from eating junk, so here is where staying focused on diet is huge. It will only limit how much you can eat, and help with hunger (for some, some still feel hunger).

You can certainly try again on your own, ultimately you need to be at peace with your decision.

Good luck going forward!

[CherylMomO4 4]

Thank you so much for posting. I have the same questions. I know the answers are I can't do it on my own I'm just too embarrassed to admit I need to go to such drastic measures to lose the weight and get to the best me possible.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Thank you so much for posting. I have the same questions. I know the answers are I can't do it on my own I'm just too embarrassed to admit I need to go to such drastic measures to lose the weight and get to the best me possible.

Hey Cheryl:

The very best part of this forum for me is that we are among a unique group of people who know exactly how you feel about our struggles with weight. So no need to feel embarrassed here. We get it.

I initially felt that surgery was drastic, but compared to other things I've tried over the years - over the counter pills, juice cleanses, starving myself, etc. I think this was the smartest/safest thing I've done for myself. There are risks that need to be considered carefully but I could not be happier or more confident in my decision to have surgery.

Best of luck!!

[shamps4all 28]

I too what if'd for years, probably put off having this surgery 20 years of more, then I got Kidney Cancer, lost my left Kidney, and now I have Gout on top of High Blood Pressure... Things were starting to pile up, got the surgery done last June, I've lost over 120 lbs (much higher starting weight than you, but hey) and I'm walking everywhere. I feel soo much better, I'm in a good mood almost all of the time (too good of a mood sometimes). Still not doing cafine, but most of my coworkers think I'm drinking double shots of esspresso. Life is fun again, and eating is not a war zone between my head and my gut anymore.

After surgery you will still be on a diet, of sorts. And some foods you used to like, well you will have to see if you still like them, it is all kinda weird for awhile. I ate steak for the first time in seven months this last week. Still seems odd that I can only eat a small portion of a steak when I used to be able to gobble down two or more... You seem to really know yourself, I wasn't happy with myself, my health wasn't happy with me, I had to get the surgery. As you yourself know, you have to answer these questions and make these decissions...we are just here to support you whatever you decide.

Allan Cameron - What you wrote: "Life is fun again, and eating is not a war zone between my head and my gut anymore" absolutely touched my soul today. I am only 10 days post-op and although I've had a few minor emotional up's and downs I am astonished at how much more ALIVE and positive I feel in just this short span of time. Thank you for your post!