Are You Disconnected?

[Louisa Latela 226]

Know this: If you stop and listen to yourself... I mean really listen... you will always know how to act in a way that honors your Highest Good. You will always know the next right thing to do! (Isn’t that coooool? You already have all the answers inside you... It really is exciting if you think about it!)

I believe we are all born these perfect little psychic bundles of love. As infants, if we’re happy we laugh, sad we cry, hungry we eat, full we stop eating. We are our Truth in every moment and have no fear about expressing who we are or how we feel. In fact, we don’t know how not to take care of ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us to not ask, or for that matter demand, that our needs be met.

But soon after our birth, we begin receiving millions of messages that it is not okay or safe to express our Truth, to follow the natural flow of our Soul’s Wisdom, to ask for what we need.

These messages come in the form of statements like—

“Ooohh, stop crying!”

“That didn’t hurt.”

“Big boys don’t cry!”

“Children should be seen but not heard.” “That was a stupid thing to say.”

“I don’t care what you want to do; you need to do what I tell you to do.” “Never let other people know that our family is not perfect”

“You can’t possibly be hungry now.”

Or maybe the messages took on a physical form and you were beaten when you expressed a feeling or spoke out of line, or even for no apparent reason.

Over time after being bombarded with messages like these, even though many of them may have been said with the best of intentions, you stop looking inward for guidance; you learn to silence your sacred voice of wisdom.

Then one day someone comes along and asks you, “What color is the sky?” And you think, “Well, I think it’s blue, but I don’t know if what I think or feel about the sky is right because the other day I heard my parents arguing and I asked Mommy what was wrong and she told me that nothing was wrong, everything was just fine... but it didn’t feel fine to me, it felt like my parents were really angry, like something wasn’t right with them... but Mommy who is the expert about life said everything was “OK”... so something must be wrong with the way I think or perceive things... so maybe the sky is really purple or green... Ahhhh I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do... I think it is blue, but I am not sure if that really is the right answer, or if it is the answer they want...

“I just wish I knew what they wanted me to say.”

This thought process is the beginning of you disconnecting from your inner voice, your Divine Wisdom. This is where you get lost. When you are unable to say your Truth, or live from Source Energy, you will inevitably notice some emotional and/or physical discomfort which typically manifests as anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, nausea, exhaustion, sleeplessness, chronic headaches, joint pain, or intestinal distress. In order to calm down those feelings you may have learned to turn to things outside of yourself for comfort like food, drugs, alcohol, people pleasing, shopping, or compulsive work.

Well, it’s time for you to come home to Yourself!!

Before you can change a behavior you have to be aware that it exists.

Below I have listed signs of "disconnection."

Indications of Disconnection from Your Authentic Self

* You worry about what other people think of you.

* You over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription medications more than you would like to get through a day.

* You are always the peace maker.

* You find it difficult to say “no” to people or set boundaries.

* You are the “life of the party” to your family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed.

* You seemingly “have it all” but still feel an uncomfortable emptiness, like something is just missing from your life.

* You feel disappointed with the way your life has turned out so far.

* You are regretful about things that happened in your past.

* You are afraid to make changes in your life.

* You feel responsible for the happiness of others.

* You spend most of your day tending to the needs of others.

* Your days are so busy that you find yourself being really forgetful and making silly mistakes.

* Your mood is dependent upon the mood or actions of others.

* You worry a lot.

* You gossip.

* You have an underlying feeling of unworthiness.

* You are in an abusive relationship (you may be the abuser or the abused).

* Your self worth is determined by the “things you have”, the money you make, the number on the scale, the position you hold at your job, or the success of your children or spouse

* You avoid disagreements at all costs... or

* You argue all the time.

* You are uncomfortable with silence.

* You feel like you are always “putting out fires” or living in constant chaos.

* You feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around significant people in your life.

* You are afraid to speak up for yourself.

* You often feel anxious, depressed, angry, or sad.

* You have a low tolerance for or feel very judgmental of people who have opinions or values that differ from yours.

* You feel like you always have to defend or explain yourself.

* You have difficulty accepting compliments.

* It is very difficult for you to look in a mirror, directly into your eyes, and say, “I love you! You are the most important person in the world to me and I am going to take good care of you!’”

____ _______________________________________________________

Notice if there is a time this week when you act from a place of disconnection, when you choose to not listen to your Intuition. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to ignore your Inner Voice. Take some time to reflect on how you may have learned to disconnect from your Authentic Self.

Also, notice a specific time this week when you did listen and respond in accordance with your Intuition, when you felt like you were being your True Self.

Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to “Be Your Truth.”

How was your experience different when you acted from a “place of disconnect”

versus when you acted in accordance with your Inner Wisdom or Truth?

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

i saw myself all in this article...

i find i spend my time overly concerned with how i affect people

and if they are upset with me or whatever and in reality, what does it matter? is this because of my low self esteem or insecurity? is it because of my not so great upbringing? or because i was recently a super morbid obese woman and whose opinion of herself was so low it scraped the ground??

all i know, is that as i lose more weight and become more healthy everyday, my inner strength is building....little by little.....i may never have my ole mans WTFreek cares attitude but maybe i can learn to cut myself some slack sometimes......and realize i am not so bad.....

Louisia, another excellent article

[Jim1967 3,569]

Wow, I am so disconnected going by that list. I can say yes that's me to most of those things....

[JOANNE M HOLL 388]

Boy, do I ever relate to this thread! It has inspired me to phone my PCP's nurse and asked her to speak with doc and then recommend a professional counsellor experienced in food disorder. I saw someone after my cancer surgeries but not female & I didn't feel secure to be open & relaxed. I need to find my inner strength to just let it all hang out. . . . just pray I'm on the right path. . . . Jo

[lisacaron 5,075]

As I read the article and I went through the list of things that could be signs that you are disconnected it made me sad. Not because I identify with many of the signs, but because I don't. There were a few, but for the most part I am me.

That in and of itself is not easy. Even as a small child I was very self aware, independent and willful. I spoke up and spoke my mind and I learned in many ways all the lessons that you mention in the beginning of the article. How much people don't like it and will try to stamp it out and get you to stop being your authentic self and to conform to what suits the masses.

Growing up was rocky for me because of this, so it makes me sad as I read through the article because I can identify with it too well and see myself as that little girl again. That square peg being forced to try and fit into a round hole. As my mother used to say walk with two feet in one shoe.

I was never any good at being a fake. I have learned to be a bit more tactful and gracious as I have grown older, (ok maybe just a little bit more) but I was never any good at fitting myself neatly into someone else idea of what or who I should be, and at times that can be very isolating and lonely.

[Dee_1111 317]

Well even the strongest of women, I consider my self one, have a lot of these traits. Its part of being human. As women, its what we do, worry, stress, feel inferior at some point on our lives, gossip (guilty). And at some stages we are disconnected, its a survival / coping mechanism, like the 'fight or flight' response. The spectrum is to large. Every person on the planet has had one or two feelings on this gigantic list. The most brilliant minds of our time, are probably every one of those things on your list and more..I think if you narrowed down the list, to what 'disconnected' actually means, then I could make a educated evaluation. Thanks

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

I have read a lot of things from people and have noticed my self , that when I did go to therapy I would not be judged , but then again I knew why and what I was doing , and of course my or our (banders) dysfunctional families that have had issues so yes I certanally know why food was a comfort for me , some things changed and there are still things I have no control over , but I refuse to let it affect e any more or at least I will give it my hardest to try and not let it get to me.

[ajustice 484]

Hit really close to home for me. I've known bits about something was just off about my life but I've played a lot off as being a nurse and the type to rush and fix it. This was very insightful.

[iamsoworthit 430]

This article hit home. I relate to all except the abusive relationship. How does one get connected and take action?