Keeping it a secret?

[JoanieP 2]

Good luck to you! I know you'll do fine. Welcome aboard!!!

[Manda_T 1]

I'm getting banded in March in TJ. I told a few close family members and 1 friend. In truth, I wish I hadn't given the details of TJ to my family....the calls, emails and general freakin out is annoying me.

I'm not telling anyone else or my co-workers....I am going on "vacation" for 10 days.

[GreenChrysalis 1]

Only my husband, a handful of friends and online buddies know. No family. I am the Fat One in the family and I have always felt like I was under a microscope when it came to eating and weight...they were not helpful or supportive. Being fat was shameful and embarrassing and my problem to fix. I already know their views on weight loss surgery. It's a cop out, a quick fix, only done by weak people, cheating. I had no desire to deal with that, so they won't ever know if I can help it. I eat emotionally and out of stress, and I am in therapy to find new coping mechanisms now that food can't be comfort anymore.

I am pretty new at my job, only about five months in. I only took a few days off after the surgery and told my boss that it was surgery, but I didn't tell her what it was. I work with a lot of nosy, gossipy women and I don't care to be gossip fodder for them.

When I start losing weight and it becomes noticeable, I will say that I am eating healthier food and less of it as well as moving more. That won't be a lie.

[Socalbandit 0]

I totally agree with you. I had my surgery on 1-7-08. I have not had a fill yet but have totally changed things about myself. If someone asks me I just say I am limiting my calories to 1000 a day and working out 5 days a week which is totally truthful. Anyone that says this is the easy way out is uninformed. This is the hardest thing I have ever done without the help of the band. I figure if I can be satisfied with this small amount of food without a fill, when I do get a fill it should be a piece of cake.(ooh to have a piece of cake) I have lost 30 lbs. in about 8 weeks. We do not know all the private details of everyone else's life so why should we feel obligated to share everything about ourselves.

[HarleyGirl 1]

I wasn't going to tell anyone.....but then told a few friends...then told a couple of co-workers....then told a few more people...and I have found that I am surrounded with this wonderful support system. Knock wood, but so far, every response has been overwhelmingly positive.

I decided that *not* telling people made me feel like it was a dirty little secret, like I was doing something wrong......and I don't want to feel like that....I am proud of my decision to take steps to change my life and make myself healthier.......and that's not something I want to keep a secret!

I'm sure I will be met with some attitude at some point......but eff 'em.....I know what I'm about.

[Longhorn 1]

When I first decided, only my immediate family knew. Then before surgery, I told my mother, siblings, and extended family. Since surgery, I've started telling people as the issue comes up, but it depends on who it is, too. If someone asks me how I lost weight, I will probably tell him or her. It's amazing how I went from doubt that I could ever have this surgery to pride!

[Socalbandit 0]

In no way do I feel like I am keeping a dirty little secret. I just know the attitude of so many people is that this is the easy way out.......due to their ignorance. I won't lie if someone asks me outright but I also do not feel the need to tell acquaintances all my private business. I have literally been working my ass off without the help of a fill yet so to each his own. My friend felt different and told everyone. I just do not want to be scrutinized by people who don't have a clue what this procedure is all about.

[HarleyGirl 1]

In no way do I feel like I am keeping a dirty little secret. I just know the attitude of so many people is that this is the easy way out.......due to their ignorance. I won't lie if someone asks me outright but I also do not feel the need to tell acquaintances all my private business. I have literally been working my ass off without the help of a fill yet so to each his own. My friend felt different and told everyone. I just do not want to be scrutinized by people who don't have a clue what this procedure is all about.

I didn't mean to imply that it was that way for anyone else......

notice I said that I felt like I was keeping a dirty little secret.....

[JoanieP 2]

30 lbs. in 8 weeks....wow, that's super! Good for you!!! Isn't it great, my life is better in so many ways. I've got about 20-25 lbs more to lose.

I'll see what happens as I get down as far as deciding how low I should go, but already I feel soooo much better. Gotta love the band!!!!

[too much of me 0]

Well I think what ever works for you, I did keep it a secret just telling a few family members. I did tell a friend who was seeking info on the computer for lap band, so I just gave in and swore her to keep it to herself and I could trust her and talked to her about it. She will have lap band next week and she was so grateful that I shared my experience with her.

[Ceradad 10]

***Warning-the opinions stated below are not that of the Moderators or Administrators of this Forum. They are being expressed by an idiot:biggrin:.***

Ok, I'm going to get up on my soapbox for a few minutes and speak my peace. Again. Please, be patient and please, please, please don't take offense to what I say. I will say my peace and leave it at that.

We all know people that are in the same situation we are in or have been in. There are alot of people in this world, this country in particular, that are hurting. Why would you keep such a great device secret? The more you get the word out, the more people can realize there is another choice for them.

Also, I for one would have appreciated more people that have had it being open about their decision and experiences. The more info I would have had, the easier it would have been to make the decision. I had alot of people at the place where I work lose weight suddenly. Or so it seemed to me. This made me feel absolutely awful. Kept thinking, "how can they do that when I can't?". After getting the lb, I've found out almost all of them have either had the lb or the RNY. WTF? Why make it seem like you held a secret to succesful weight loss from others in need? Would you keep a cure to cancer secret? I would hope not. But, alot of you seem to want to basically the same thing as that.

Seems like despite alot of exclamations to the contrary, it seems like alot of you are embarrassed by the lb and having to "resort" to it. By keeping it secret, you are seemingly admitting to yourselves and everyone else that it is wrong to have to have the lapband to lose the weight. I can almost guarantee you that if you have kept it secret and told the half truth that you are only watching what you are eating and exercising, and someone finds out about the lapband, they are going to think you are ashamed of it.

I don't give a darn what others think about what I had to do to lose weight. The only people I care about what they think about me are DW and DD. Otherwise, you are with me or against me. I didn't do this for anyone except myself and my family. And, if you think you work with judgemental people when it comes to how you look/appear, try being an overweight police officer. Most of the men/women I work with are ex military. You want to talk about appearance being important. How do you react when you see a "fat" cop? That was me. I had to deal with the constant razzing from these people for over 7 yrs and take it with a smile.

By keeping it secret, you are merely making it a little easier for people to remain uneducated and ignorant about the benefits of it. You are making it easier for people to continue thinking that it is simply about willpower to lose weight. You are doing an injustice to all obese people out there. You are keeping the "dark ages" about weight issues in the norm.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox and done beating my chest. I had to get that out or I would have choked on it. You may now start to stomp me for my opinions and I will take it w/o too much rebuttal. Unless someone personally attacks me, then I will rebut. Otherwise, thanks for listening to my ranting and raving.

Also, to anyone who has made the decision or is seriously considering: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I hope you all the success in the world with it. You have taken a step in the right direction to take your life back from your stomach. Which is a MAJOR step imo.

[Doddie63 6]

:thumbup:Well said Ceradad. To each his own choice is my motto, but I love it when people speak out that obesity can be erradicated if the tools to help the obese are put out in the public eye.

I tell anyone that asks about my weight loss. Yes I look them in the eye and tell them that there was something missing in the equation to my dieting and exercising. That was keeping it off. With the band that controls my hunger and the amount I can eat at any one time I am successfully meeting my goals. I am not ashamed of what I am doing. I was horribly ashamed of my huge weight as people looked at me with either disgust or pity. My self esteem was low, now I am proud.

I want others in particular medical people to see that there is a way. I recently read a survey, that 1 out of 5 doctors can't look past the weight of the patient as a result many health issues are overlooked.

So if my speaking out helps I am happy. Doddie

[readytolive 0]

I support those that wish to tell and those that wish to keep it a secret. For me, I choose to keep it a secret and only tell those I trust and love.

Believe me, if someone is obese, you can bet they already have looked into gastric bypass or the lapband. They don't need someone who has already had it to consider it.

Of course it's great to give them some advice based on your own personal experience with LB. But there is also other great ways to gain information about it. When I started to seriously consider LB I got online and found this message board, I bought some books, and also found people on youtube who are sharing their experiences.

I think it's ok to keep it a secret and ok to not keep it a secret. It's a personal choice, and I think both are good choices.

[foxychick04 0]

still haven't told anyone and I don't feel guilty.

I lost 70 pounds on a liquid diet a few years ago and I told everyone I could find - I had 6 other friends follow me and try the diet, some with huge success and some that didn't succeed. After a year or two I put on all the weight and more (112 pounds) and everyone else put the weight back on too. It was hard to see everyone hit their goal become so confident and so happy and watch them panic as their dream fell through and they put on weight. I felt guilty for that (rightly or wrongly).

I decided that whatever I did from now on would be my choice and something that was right for me. I am losing weight slowly but noone has asked me how because they have seen me do this time and time again so I suspect they are waiting for me to put it back on again! :thumbup:

I'm not knocking anyone for shouting it from the rooftops but I've done it before and I took on everyone elses weight problems as well.

Maybe I will tell people in the future but right now that's not the right decision for me.

As many people have said it's up to the individual whether they say something or not.

Good luck bandsters!!!

[miss meliss 0]

Here Here Ceradad!

If I wasn't able to talk to a co-worker about their band experience I might not have explored this option. She seemed normal, happy and and much slimmer. It gave me a chance to ask about her experience and I feel much better about it. I was one of those who use to think this was cheating. But then I realized I am losing the race and I need help. This isn't cheating anymore than getting braces for your teeth, duh. I will submit for approval in early April and I don't plan of shouting from the roof tops but if asked I will talk their ear off. I would feel bad telling them I had just decided to eat better and the pound fell-off. If that worked for everyone then I would not need this surgry. I am thankful someone was willing to open up and talk to me about this option. Now, I'm off my soap box! ... Miss Meliss