Keeping it a secret?

[comepickmeup 0]

So your surgery's on 1/7? Are you getting excited? Have you started your pre-op diet yet?

Welp, let me fill you on Friday! lol. First of all, I went to dinner with my friend and the timing was PERFECT to tell him. I mean, he even shared a personal issue he had...but I just couldn't do it. :faint: Cause then, I felt like one of those people that's always trying to "one up" the other persons story. Ridiculous, I know! So I just said I had some issues myself, but I was working on getting them sorted out. Then we went to this concert and it came up that my mom was going to be in town. And I said, well..I'm having this little procedure. And he asked, "a surgical procedure?! Are you okay?" And I said, "yes, I will fill you in but I don't want to be screaming it out right here, right now." Yes, I'm an idiot, should've just done it at dinner. So today we spoke and I filled him in on everything. Told him I had PCOS, getting the lapband in 2 weeks. Voila. Done. ha. He didn't have much to say (not that I thought he would) he just said I should've told him so we could've gone out for sushi one last time and partied a little harder. lol.

So that's that. No more worrying how I'm going to deal with eating out with him and all that jazz. Thanks for letting me vent!

As for the surgery! Yes, I'm stoked! I'm starting my pre-op diet today (now that it's 1am!). I have the flu or something so eating hasn't been on my mind at all. It sucks though. I'm going to the doc tomorrow just to make sure things are ok. Don't want to have some sort of infection that could delay the surgery.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better! I had my appendix and an ovarian cyst removed laproscopically back in 2000. I'm trying to remind myself that that first day was miserable (them making you cough, walk) but was bearable afterwards. Just gotta keep my eye on the prize. I can do this!! You'll have to let me know how it goes with the holiday and all. Are you still on mushies? I gotta say, I think I'm dreading that the most...pureed anything sounds disgusting.

Shortgal/TulipStar: I agree with what you guys are saying. I think part of my thing with telling people...and I just came to this realization...is the fact that I can't believe I am so fat that I'm having a surgery to help intervene. I guess it's almost a sense of embarassment. And you are right...people are going to talk regardless, good or bad. But I know I've made the best decision. Screw 'em.

KimInMD: Girl, you looked fabulous in the pic from your daughters wedding!!!! That dress was exsquisite!

Congrats to you all!! Happy Holidays!

[SueSue 0]

I told my co-workers around me. One reason being is that I had to take off from work and knew everyone would be asking why. I was self pay so I was asked a lot of questions about insurance paying and how to pay. It has been okay I guess. I have people watch me eat and ask about my weight loss. I haven't lost as fast as I think they expect but.....all in all it has been okay. My family was very supportive and my husband also.

[TawandaintheHoo 0]

My theory on this is that you can never "untell" someone a secret. I didn't ever want to regret telling someone, so only two people in the whole world know about my surgery (two of my children).

Tawanda

[Kristin1031 0]

I have told all of my family close friends and co workers, I see no reason to hide it....I made a life altering decision and I want to share it. I want others to know how wonderful this can be.

I want insurance companies to know that it makes us healthier and so their claims will go down......I want this so that others who come after me can get approved easier without all the hoop jumping.

I want Dr's to see that the banding is definately an option for the obese and morbidly obese patients. This is important to me. To be able to help others who are feeling the way I felt for years.

I want to shout it from the roof tops. In fact we were given a rubber bracelet.....(like the livestrong) bracelets at my last support group that come from Allergen and it has the LapBand logo on it and it says I'm with the BAND. I love it and I put it on after my surgery and I wear it all the time.

I am not embarrassed I am proud of my decision, for it was not an easy one.

[Kristin1031 0]

When I was going through the pre-op stuff in October, I sat down with my closest friends (who are mostly co-workers) and told them about my decision. Everyone was pretty supportive.

I hadn't planned on telling my boss, but when my surgeon wouldn't bend on wanting me to take 2 weeks off, I had to discuss being off with her and when I danced around disclosing what for, she shared with me that she had had liposuction a couple years before and I felt comfortable enough to tell her. She was very sweet about it, even asking me to have a family member call me after my surgery to let her know that I was alright.

I also hadn't planned on telling family outside of my mom and my younger brother, but that plan went downhill when one of my mom's cousins' girlfriend came across my paperwork at her job working for my surgeon's billing company. She blabbed her mouth about it to family members back in November and I had to report the HIPAA violation and privacy act violation to the surgeon's office and her employer. She and my mother's cousin, her boyfriend, ran their mouths some more and threatened to take me to court to sue me for harassment for complaining to her employer. It didn't go anywhere, obviously, because the lawyer they talked to advised them that they broke federal laws, so they didn't have a leg to stand on. Triflin'.

comepickmeup: I know exactly what you're going through when you talk about your friend. I dated a guy last year for about 10 months and we've remained very close friends. We care a lot for each other, but we're too different which is why the relationship didn't work. He's very blunt and straight-forward with his opinions and that's the reason I chose not to tell him about my surgery. I figure that if it comes up, I'll address it then, but I chose not to make a statement and "come out" about it to him. He'd most likely take it as an opening to give me his opinion about it, and I'm not sure about how he feels about WLS.

As for dating, I was with a guy in a somewhat serious relationship when I started doing the pre-op stuff and I didn't tell him about it. It was a long distance relationship and although I mentioned some of my pre-op stuff, he never asked what it was for. It was a good decision on my part because our break-up was ugly and he threw a lot of things back in my face, so the fact that I didn't give him this as ammo was good.

I work for a large medical group and that would of been grounds for being fired. We cannot divulge anyone's PHI to anyone for any reason without prior patient authorization!!!

She is lucky she still has a job!!

Congrats on reporting it......stupidty like that hurts all of us.

[Doddie63 6]

Hi: When asked, I tell. Although I had a bad experience with telling my sister, I don't regret making my band public. Hopefully, I will give someone else the idea to have a band if they have a weight problem.

One thing I do recommend, is that you wear a medic alert Bracelet. There are some very attactive ones on the market. If you have an emergency, whether it be an accident or a band problem, the medics need to know about the gatric band.

Happy New Year everyone. Doddie

[soozan 0]

Told MIL and FIL as they were with us for the holidays, that I was going to have the LB.

WELL! That information apparently went home with them and has trickled down through our family. I asked them to keep this to ourselves until I feel more oreoared with my responses.

My SIL called and it seemed, reamed me out. I've gained because of what I put in my mouth. I should simply sTOP it. If I can lose weight(and I have, we all have several dozen times). I can do it again.

I told her of a typical pre/post op diet and even some medically supervised diets required by some insurances. She threw it up in my face again. Losing weight on a med sup diet simply proves her point in her opinion.

She drove me to tears.

I don't know if I will be telling anyone else about this decision.

Susan

[Doddie63 6]

soozan. What you should do is point out to that silly sister of yours that "yes it is easy to loose weight" but it is equally easy to put it back on. The band is a tool that prevents you from overeating. Most obese people do not know when they are full, as well as they eat emotionally. The band helps you to keep these problems in check.

My sister also pulled the pout trick on me. Refusing to speak to me etc. When I held my ground, she was the first to backdown.

Most of it is sill resentment that you may be doing something that will give you a normal life. I suspect your sister is comfortable with "fat" you and doesn't want to find you (in her mind) equal or better than her.

So chin up, suck it it and do what is best for YOU. To hell with your sisters opinion. Yours is the only one that counts.

Yours in support Doddie

[gingerbug 3]

Hi: When asked, I tell. Although I had a bad experience with telling my sister, I don't regret making my band public. Hopefully, I will give someone else the idea to have a band if they have a weight problem.

One thing I do recommend, is that you wear a medic alert Bracelet. There are some very attactive ones on the market. If you have an emergency, whether it be an accident or a band problem, the medics need to know about the gatric band.

Happy New Year everyone. Doddie

Really good idea, where does one get one of these and what should it say?

[princesstracey 1]

I told very few people. I didnt want it a big issue. My mom and brother know because I went home to stay with them after the surgery-they have been so sweet. My grandma knows because she helped me with my loan for cash pay. I have 4 friends who know, who have been crazy supportive, and my boss. I like it this way. Tracey

[fat&thrifty 0]

Hi everyone, especially PrincessTracey, hope you are well after your recent surgery. I have hardly told anyone. My employer for the time off, my son and daughter. My husband and I are getting banded the same day, and he has broadcast it to everyone he knows. He's so proud of it.

Different strokes for different folks.

I'm just more cautious and private than him, and would rather people learned later, as the weight was coming off. Throughout the years, I've always had some negative remarks to deal with as I've lost and re-gained weight. So perhaps thats the reason. It's my personal Quest with my husband, not for public knowledge. Except of course, every here at LBT!

Happy 2008, and may we all realize true happiness.

[Doddie63 6]

gingerbug: If you are Canadian, just do a search for medic alert bracelets. You can buy the basic for around $35 and that is the end of it or because I have other health issues, I purchase a year subscription. So if my meds change, they send me a new wallet card, also if I am unable to speak, they have all my medical information including my doctors.

I know the web in the US have some very attactive bracelets as well. I don't find it difficult to wear one. Just like a ring, you get used to it. Doddie

[Doddie63 6]

Gingerbug: Sorry forgot to mention. They take your complete medical history. ON my band I have "gastric band", hypo thryroidism, high blood pressure, diabetes. I was also given a wallet card. The Canadian Medica Alert are in the medical field and very discreet. You have to have passwords, etc. Just tell them a gastric band, they don't ask for more information. Doddie

[gingerbug 3]

Thanks Doddie! Hey, you are almost half way there, btw, way to go!

[Doddie63 6]

Thanks. Like your way of looking at the loss. I am consitantly averaging .85 lbs per week. I keep a loose fill mainly because I tend to gulp my food no matter how hard I try. So I am satisfied with the looser fill as my band is not under so much pressure I cause irritation to the stomach. I take the attitude this is not a race. I just want to loose weight a keep it off and I have the rest of my life to do it. Happy New Year and and great weight loss to you. Doddie