Keeping it a secret?

[TimeTraveller 0]

I'm still keeping the surgery a secret from most people in my circle. After 6½ months since my surgery, I finally crossed the 40 pound mark this week. People are definitely starting to notice and ask, and I've tiptoed all around the subject, basically saying the same "eating less, exercising more" routine.

I will admit that while the band gave me a huge jump-start the first month (19 pounds), the rest of the time have been a real struggle. I really don't feel like the band restricts me from eating too much except maybe in the mornings. I'm tighter in the morning and get hiccups really bad no matter what I eat. But by lunch, I can pretty much eat as much as I want and so I have to really pull the reins back.

I'm careful on the types of foods I eat, as certain things will just cause major hiccups and causes a scene at restaurants. But greenbeans, salad, mashed potatoes, etc. go right through with no problem usually. My ownly weakness seems to be chips. Can't seem to do without them at a restaurant meal when the rest of my family's having them, but I don't have much trouble turning down bread these days, which was always a weakness before.

Anyway, over six months and 40 pounds down, my secret's still safe for the most part. Thanksgiving & Christmas will be a major test though -- both in people recognizing my weight loss and whether I can keep my willpower sustained. I'd love to be another 15 pounds lighter by the first of the year which would put me over the half-way mark towards my goal.

[skinnyafatbody 0]

I agree -- there will certainly be no lie in that statement! At work, I was just going to say that I had some minor surgery and hope they won't pry asking me what it is. But if someone does ask, what do I say? I'm not a good liar so I need something ahead of time. Also, it isn't like me not to tell all, unfortunately. Any ideas?

This is what i will say - if it all goes ahead ... "please don't be offended but it is of a very private nature and at the moment i don't feel comfortable discussing it in any detail" ... that way you are not lying, you are being completely truthful and i would hope that statement is enough to make them realise you don't wish to discuss it any further. If they pressure further i would just say ... "i have asked you to respect my privacy, *smile* thank you".

[Chinquapin 0]

Longhorn, some great advice was posted by skinnyafatbody below your comments. The best path is the high one, show your good manners, yet be assertive by smiling and repeating that it is a personal matter.

You have to decide how to handle this situation. If you are comfortable enough, tell people. Be aware though that there are those who may be negative. (You don't need any negative vibes!) Hopefully all your co-workers will be supportive to you if you tell them, but after reading some of the comments posted, you can never be sure.

Look inside yourself, choose your path, and then be committed. Good Luck!

[Chinquapin 0]

I agree -- there will certainly be no lie in that statement! At work, I was just going to say that I had some minor surgery and hope they won't pry asking me what it is. But if someone does ask, what do I say? I'm not a good liar so I need something ahead of time. Also, it isn't like me not to tell all, unfortunately. Any ideas?

Longhorn, I'm new to this, so didn't know how to correctly respond to you directly, but I did post a reply to your question above...

[Longhorn 1]

This is what i will say - if it all goes ahead ... "please don't be offended but it is of a very private nature and at the moment i don't feel comfortable discussing it in any detail" ... that way you are not lying, you are being completely truthful and i would hope that statement is enough to make them realise you don't wish to discuss it any further. If they pressure further i would just say ... "i have asked you to respect my privacy, *smile* thank you".

That's good advice. I just need to say it to myself few times until it comes naturally. Thanks!

[skinnyafatbody 0]

Remember: if you want something to be private, you are entitled to that. Not everyone needs to know everything.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I told people that I was having my gall bladder out. That was just the people at work though. I had to find a reason I was going to be gone from work.

Everyone else that asks me how I have lost the weight I just tell them I work out at the gym nearly every day, and eat smaller portions, which is completely true.

[mscags 0]

I am slowly beginning to tell peaple. I had surgury 5 1/2 Months ago and i think about 5 people is how many i told so far. i am frightful that it will come out over thanksgiving dinner or something. When people ask i tell them i am eating less and exercising.

[Alfie 58]

When I get banded, I'm telling everyone...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

[kathystrick 3]

I am only planning to tell DH, my son, and my parents. I am hoping DH can keep his mouth shut, because I really don't want his family to know. They are very judgemental for the most part and his sister is a huge gossip with ties to DH's ex, who I would just as soon didn't know about my surgery. Maybe I will feel diferent once it is actually done, but while I am still in the planning stages, I want it kept as quiet as possible.

[enterprise01 0]

Last night I had dinner with a business associate whom I hadn't seen in almost a year. He just raved about how good I look and asked me what I've been doing. I usually just tell casual acquaintances that I finally got motivated to stick to my diet, but for some reason I decided to tell this guy the truth. Some people are judgmental about it, so I usually lie, but this business associate is a very good hearted and open minded person, so I told him the truth. And am I ever glad I did. He told me his mother weighs over 350 lbs and he's been very worried about her mental state. He said she just feel helpless and has given up. After our dinner, he called her immediately and told her all about me and the band. He's now trying to get her to come to the U.S. (she's in Pakistan), have the surgery, and stay with him for a few months to recover. By telling the truth, I may have helped this woman reclaim her life.

[Nina_S 1]

Last night I had dinner with a business associate whom I hadn't seen in almost a year. He just raved about how good I look and asked me what I've been doing. I usually just tell casual acquaintances that I finally got motivated to stick to my diet, but for some reason I decided to tell this guy the truth. Some people are judgmental about it, so I usually lie, but this business associate is a very good hearted and open minded person, so I told him the truth. And am I ever glad I did. He told me his mother weighs over 350 lbs and he's been very worried about her mental state. He said she just feel helpless and has given up. After our dinner, he called her immediately and told her all about me and the band. He's now trying to get her to come to the U.S. (she's in Pakistan), have the surgery, and stay with him for a few months to recover. By telling the truth, I may have helped this woman reclaim her life.

Enterprise01,

Isn't that a great feeling!!! That is what makes it so worth it to tell people. In the beginning I was aprehensive about telling people because of the criticism but I noticed that I had more people with questions and looking for answers to their own weight problems.

Nina

[Missdrpepper 0]

I was banded at the very end of may 07. I debated about telling people at my new job, but in the beginning it is so hard to eat out in public. I have been so sick that i just can't hide it anymore. It is difficult to be social and do things with friends if you can't eat anything. I would rather my friends know and understand than be curious. Everybody has been very supportive. I feel better not having to hide it.

[katiep2003 0]

In my everday life, only my husband, mom, brother and sister-in-law know... my online friends know and so does anyone that reads my blog, but thats it.

[FarmerE 0]

When I was first banded, I refused to tell anyone but my parents and two friends. I think it had something to do with the embarrasement of being fat enough to be banded or to go through with this. Recently, I started talking about it to a couple of coworkers and everyone has been so supportive. Kinda helps when I've had a fill, I'm not quite used to it, and then I have to run off and pb. They've also been really curious and no one has judged me. I'm acutally kinda glad now that I've started talking about it.