Keeping it a secret?

[green 6]

@Liz1531, Doddie63 is right. We will be your support group and your bandster family. Getting banded is not taking the easy way out; it is taking advantage of a modern medical technique and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Obesity is a medical problem, and not simply an issue of laziness or moral weakness. There are many people, most of them of normal weight, who still don't understand this.

Yo-yo dieting is much more destructive for both your body and your feelings of self-worth. Having the band installed is a simple day surgery for most of us. The long term effects of obesity can lead to high blood pressure, the need for knee replacements, diabetes, high cholesterol, depression..... Try to ignore your family's negativity and focus on other things. I know that this will be difficult but we are here for you.

[christine yng 0]

I told everyone I'm getting the lap-band. It did cross my mind keeping it a secret, but I thought it over and, you know what? The hell with it, I'm not going to care what others think, it's my life, my body and my health. So what if people know? The only one that lives inside me is ME! (sorry, got a little excited). You go liz, do it for YOU and don't give a rats beeeehind of what others think or say. OXOXOXOX Becoming a lap-bandida on the 24th!!!!!!!!!

[Carlene 12]

I told everyone I'm getting the lap-band. It did cross my mind keeping it a secret, but I thought it over and, you know what? The hell with it, I'm not going to care what others think, it's my life, my body and my health. So what if people know? The only one that lives inside me is ME! (sorry, got a little excited). You go liz, do it for YOU and don't give a rats beeeehind of what others think or say. OXOXOXOX Becoming a lap-bandida on the 24th!!!!!!!!!

I'm with you, Christine. I tell all and let the chips fall where they may. Just last week, someone asked me for advice on how to win the weight loss pot at their work. Everyone chips in $25 and the one who loses the most after 6 months gets all the money. I said, "Have Lap Band surgery....that's what I did." And you know what? She replied, "That's what I heard, but I wasn't sure." So remember, if you tell one person, it's not a secret.

[rosemarcia 0]

I am just going through the preliminaries and have yet to see the surgeon who would do the LB procedure. I have tried to contact a few women who have had this done, but have not had the chance to actually ask them if they are glad they did it. Tell me how you managed with the slow weight loss in the beginning and who you felt after surgery and anything else about this journey. My questions are mainly about how people do the first few months after, physically and mentally....

[Doddie63 6]

No problem the first few months it is after that ones old habits start to creep in. Having the LB is a tool to be used wisely with dietary changes, mental exercises and physical exercise. I am a binge/grazer and now into my 5th month. I have chosen to go slowly in the weight loss and change my eating habits and exercise habits. I know the weight will come off eventually. Others chose the rapid weight loss road and do just as well. The critical part is to remember the LB is a tool and it is to be used wisely. Doddie

[kariz845 0]

I was with Jenny Craig this year for about 6 to 7 months, but I honestly got tired of going further into debt by paying them money for food every week that I stopped going. I lost about 18 lbs. with them and have gained about 5 lbs. back. My problem with weight is Portion Control and I can be an emotional eater. I have tried everything for the past 6 years, programs like Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach Diet, and Nutri-System, just to name a few. I was dedicated to all of the programs between one and two years, losing weight, but not being able to keep it off. I felt like I had tried all that I could and nothing was working for me and I needed a little extra help - a better tool.

My husband and I have been together for two years, and married for one - our anniversary is today. He asked me, out of the blue (he says he was thinking about it for a while), how am I managing my weight? I hadn't discussed with him my plan for the Lap-Band because I know how he feels about surgery. I told him that I was thinking about having the Lap-Band done, that I had did my research, spoke to doctors, and feel comfortable with the surgery. He says he doesn't feel that I need and that I should try something else - have more willpower and dedication. He said that he doesn't think that I have tried hard enough. WHAT?! I instantly grew angry. You see I was going to talk to him about the surgery, but knew that this was going to be the reaction. I, for one, would have thought that my husband would be the most supportive even if he didn't agree with it. I have been dealing with my weight since I was 16 and I am 32 now. You see, someone looking at me from the outside would never think that I am the weight that I am on the inside, but I feel it. It is an emotional struggle and a physical one. I have gone to the gym. I have given it my all and who is anyone to say that I haven't tried if they haven't seen it for themselves. Right now, we are both upset at eachother because he wants me to listen to what he has to say and I would like him to not judge because it's surgery and to read the material about the pros outweighing the cons.

I really do not know what else to do. I still want to have the procedure done.:help:

[green 6]

If your problem is Portion Control then the band will work well for you. I don't know how to advise you with regard to your husband's attitude. Perhaps you could explain that you have been dieting and exercising for a very, very long time now and it has gotten you to your current weight, a weight which you are very unhappy with. Tell him that if diet and exercise were the answer then there would be no large people. Nobody enjoys being overweight in this looks-obsessed society. Obesity is also a medical issue and the band is a medical technique which is designed to combat obesity. Maybe telling him this stuff will help, maybe you have already told him. Good luck, grrl.

[kariz845 0]

Thank you Green. After he saw how upset I was. He came and sat down and asked me more questions and listened instead of judging. He read the material from the LB website and is being very supportive. I am pretty sure he still has his reservations as he referred to it in the beginning as "taking the easy way out". He says that he didn't marry me because of my size and doesn't care how big I get. He just wants me to be healthy. A lot of men (husbands) say that, but I think they just do it to appease their wives. I explained to him that it's not about him - it is about me. I have made the decision to go forward and I am very excited. He is being supportive, whether he agrees with it or not - that's what's important to me.

Portion Control is a huge problem for me. I can eat and still feel full, but still eat until my stomach hurts. It's an unsettling feeling that I eat the way I do and I get upset with myself afterwards.

Have you told anyone when you were going to do it?

[green 6]

Thank you Green. After he saw how upset I was. He came and sat down and asked me more questions and listened instead of judging. He read the material from the LB website and is being very supportive. I am pretty sure he still has his reservations as he referred to it in the beginning as "taking the easy way out". He says that he didn't marry me because of my size and doesn't care how big I get. He just wants me to be healthy. A lot of men (husbands) say that, but I think they just do it to appease their wives. I explained to him that it's not about him - it is about me. I have made the decision to go forward and I am very excited. He is being supportive, whether he agrees with it or not - that's what's important to me.

Portion Control is a huge problem for me. I can eat and still feel full, but still eat until my stomach hurts. It's an unsettling feeling that I eat the way I do and I get upset with myself afterwards.

Have you told anyone when you were going to do it?

kariz, I had my lapband surgery last September. My problem was/is portion control. I love to pig out and then I always feel like a piece of sh!! afterwards.

The band has changed this. I now have a healthy BMI - 23.9 - and I can wear a size 12P pant which is down from a size 18W. The band really is a wonderful tool for limiting your food intake but you must do your share of the work by paying attention to the types of food that you do eat. I am trying to stick to fresh vegies and meats, eggs, and tuna, etc. I am trying to avoid carbs and fats which are my two favourite food groups! :think

The way the band works is that it doesn't allow you to eat anywhere near as much food and that helps people like us; eating the right foods and taking small bites and chew, chew, chewing is all part of the technique of working with the lapband. You will get it, I am sure, but you need the band. This is the hardware which physically stops you from pigging out and from feeling hungry in that old pre-band way. I still find it weird to leave food on my plate....

My husband was kind of weirded out when I told him that I had arranged for the lapband operation but he is a very nice and tolerant man and he is used to me doing things which he finds weird. He always puts up with my stunts and he is astonished by the amount of weight I have lost since I got banded.

[MMS 0]

I have this same question rambling around in my head....

Here's another perspective. I know a lady who had RNY and she can't STOP talking about it. It drives me mental. I have to hear about how her creepy husband chases her around now. I REALLY don't want to know. She is in really poor health too. She looks like a refugee. She refuses to admit it is from the procedure and the fact she is malnourished. It's really sad.

While reading this I realized that I can think of other people I know who MUST have had the band done. There is no way they could have lost the weight on their own at the rate they did. I have known them for years and know the issues and it all makes sense now. There is a few other things that are becoming clear too about their behavior too. I know that the change in my eating habits is going to send up a lot of red flags with family members I don't want to tell.

[justbeingme 1]

I was very private in my telling of people. I told my sister, and of course my parents know because they paid for it. My mom also told her close friend. She had gastric bypass and wanted to see how this went compared to her bypass. I wanna tell my best friends, but I don't feel they would understand. I think we are too young.

[chefschoon 0]

I told everyone. I think I was so happy to get this done, plus, because I work so much, I needed all of the support I could get. Now that I am really losing weight, everyone talks to me about how well I am doing and how good I look. I wouldn't change whom I told at all.

[Dakota1984 0]

When I first started discussing the idea of the lap-band with my husband, he was a bit reserved about the idea. Not from the standpoint of him wanting me to lose weight, but because of the dangers involved with the surgery. He had a friend who had his stomach stapled in the late 70's and died within a couple of years. He always thought the surgery and death were related. (I have absolutely no idea if they were or not). The great part was he was willing to go through the material I had gathered to research the lap-band and he spent a lot of time of this website and eventually became very supportive of the idea.

He had watched me battle my weight for 16 years of marriage and I truly believe that when he said he wanted me to lose the weight for my health he meant it. He always said that he thought I was beautiful. The craziness of it was that I had a hard time believing him. As with most of us and our weight - it is a matter of our heart (spiritual well being). I really didn't love myself - so why should he.

We had initially scheduled surgery for Feb. 26, 2007 with Dr. Ortiz in Tijiuana. My sweet husband was killed in a car accident in early Feb. Another driver crossed over the center line and he was killed instantly.

Obviously - I immediately cancelled the surgery. I couldn't begin to deal with anything more than I already was dealing with.

Several months afterward I began to realize that my husband would still want me to be healthy. I have an adult disabled daughter to care for and I knew I needed to be around for her as long as possible. So - on June 8th I had the lap-band with a local Dr. here in Colorado.

Today I weigh 46 pounds less than I did the day of my husbands accident. I lost around 14 pounds presurgery and have lost 32 pounds since surgery.

I am not losing weight for any other reason than I want to be healthy, active and I want to live every single minute of the rest of my life with enthusiasm. The main thing that has changed about me isn't my weight, however. What has changed is that I do believe my husband now, I am beautiful and I was extrodinarliy blessed to have had him for the years that I did.

So - I said all that to say this girls. When your man says he loves you and he finds you beautiful. Give him a break and believe him.

Michelle

[Vikki 2]

Thank you Green. After he saw how upset I was. He came and sat down and asked me more questions and listened instead of judging. He read the material from the LB website and is being very supportive. I am pretty sure he still has his reservations as he referred to it in the beginning as "taking the easy way out". He says that he didn't marry me because of my size and doesn't care how big I get. He just wants me to be healthy. A lot of men (husbands) say that, but I think they just do it to appease their wives. I explained to him that it's not about him - it is about me. I have made the decision to go forward and I am very excited. He is being supportive, whether he agrees with it or not - that's what's important to me.

Portion Control is a huge problem for me. I can eat and still feel full, but still eat until my stomach hurts. It's an unsettling feeling that I eat the way I do and I get upset with myself afterwards.

Have you told anyone when you were going to do it?

Wow you sound like where I was a little over a year ago. My husband did not like the idea. I could not get it approved here in the US because they said I wasn't heavy enough for insurance approval so I found a great Dr. in Mexico for half the price here. My girlfriend was his patient coordinator and she helped get it all set up for me and it took me a long time to get my husband to be okay with my decision. I look a lot less than I weight because I am tall and big boned so people don't realize how heavy I am. I also have a huge appitite that controled me every day!! The overeating and the guilt that went along with it was making completely mad at myself and I had a war going on in my head of dissapointment that no one knew about. I knew that getting the band would help me loose the weight and help me get control of myself pysically and emotionally. I must tell you that I am almost at my year anniversary and I am still so proud that I did it. I just had my third fill last Sat. and I am pretty tight. Haven't been able to eat much at all but that is exactly why I got it. You only need a very small amount to live on and we live in a society that gives us four times the amount of servings that we really need. I am down 46 pounds and have lost a lot more inches than weight looks wise. I am still going towards my goal and can't tell you how happy I am with my band. It was so easy to get and so easy to recover from. I was back to work three days after my surgery. Only a handful of people know about my band because it is none of their business. If any of you read this and would like to chat just sent me a message and I am happy to discuss my experience. My husband is happy that I am happier with myself and that I have been so good about exercise and just eating the right things. You can only eat very small amounts with the right fills so you have to make good choices to what you put in your body. No more big mac for lunch and no more garlic bread with dinner. The band has changed my life and I recommend it to anyone that is struggling with loosing weight because of no portion control. You can eat and eat with out the band then kick yourself all the way home. But with the band you can try to eat and eat and end up in the bathroom throwing it up or in a lot of pain. You change your mind real quick after that happens a couple times and your brain adapts to read you body of when to stop and put your fork down. Good luck to you guys and I know the frustrated place you are at!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lvnmylife 0]

My family is big on secrets (a shame thing from long ago, I think) and my mother was slightly horrified that I would tell my friends (They all weigh 115 to 125 lbs) I told her they are the ones who will moral support and if they are true friends they will back me up. I also told her the cycle needed to be broken. My mom has always pushed her weight issues on my which, for a time, did a number on my self esteem.

I have told the family, friends and co-workers. I have not had one negative comment from anyone I've told. Most comments are things like, good for you, I'm so proud of you, etc. Telling people has actually been a very freeing experience and I am very lucky that my BF, family, friends, co-workers are all extremely supportive.

My BF and I just started dating in July and I was a little reluctant to tell him (He is 125 lbs and has about 0.5% body fat...the man cannot gain weight!!) He has turned out to be the most supportive of all! He tells me he can already see a difference, comforts me thru the pain, commiserates when I have a really bad craving and right after surgery made sure I followed Drs instructions.