I feel like I'll never reach my goal

[miangr 11]

7 months out, stalled for about almost 3 (not counting the 10lbs I lost when I was sick) altogether down 72lbs. But considering I've been stalled for so long idek if I'll ever reach onederland and I'm so frustrated and scared of failing after everything .

[Roo101769 742]

I am three months out today and I have been struggling with the mental aspect of this. I have lost 33lbs since surgery, 66lbs overall. During the holidays I slid, a lot. I was bound and determined to get back on track once the new year started, but I find I am still having issues. I am now in a mental battle with myself to do what needs to be done. I look at my scars and get mad that I am wasting this awesome tool that I have. Yet I find myself still reaching for "sliders" and eating with abandon. I am trying, it isn't like every meal every day is junk. (which has been my only saving grace not to gain) Yet I know if I followed my plan better and exercised like I should I would be much further ahead than I am. I think yesterday I recognized one thing that might be holding me back, mentally speaking. I dawned on me I cannot imagine, at all, myself thin. My current weight of 250lbs is the lowest I have been in probably 13+ years. I cannot really remember what it felt like to be in "onederland". I still feel like a fat chick because, quite honestly, I am. I get compliments and kudos for the weight I have lost. And while I don't sneeze at the fact I HAVE lost 66lbs, I have a lot of fear I won't ever get lower. ( Which may be another reason for my self sabotage) I need a LOT of reflection and determination to get the train back on track. I am not giving up, I refuse to do that. I just need to dig deep and figure out why I am allowing food to ruin a good chance at health. I need to get back the drive and fire I had when I was going into this. I need to remember how bad I really wanted this and take it home... I never want to give up, and I hope you don't either.

[chefcoll 53]

Roo - i think the mere fact that you posted this tells us and YOURSELF, you have the drive. Now get into the drivers seat and take charge! YOU CAN DO IT!

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

7 months out, stalled for about almost 3 (not counting the 10lbs I lost when I was sick) altogether down 72lbs. But considering I've been stalled for so long idek if I'll ever reach onederland and I'm so frustrated and scared of failing after everything .

It's frustrating. I have slowed down a lot too. But I keep asking myself if I'm doing all I can or need to do and if I'm being honest, the answer is no. I'm not exercising as much as I should. I'm blaming it on the cold weather, but old habits die hard. I was cycling until the weather got too cold, but there are other things I can do. I'm also not tracking as well as I was, I really believe this is a huge factor for me. I'm not a big snacker, but not monitoring as closely, I have no real way to tell what combination of foods slow me down. Carbs never were and never will be my friend. If I expect my sleeve to do its job, then I need to do mine. We can do it! GOAL OR BUST!!!

[Terri Lynn1383837796 139]

Anyone who believes that this was an easy way out for us needs their heads examined!! I struggle EVERY day with my food demons. They are still there...I fight to keep them at bay. I certainly understand the drug addict or the alcoholic...except we still have to eat!!

[miangr 11]

I am three months out today and I have been struggling with the mental aspect of this. I have lost 33lbs since surgery, 66lbs overall. During the holidays I slid, a lot. I was bound and determined to get back on track once the new year started, but I find I am still having issues. I am now in a mental battle with myself to do what needs to be done. I look at my scars and get mad that I am wasting this awesome tool that I have. Yet I find myself still reaching for "sliders" and eating with abandon. I am trying, it isn't like every meal every day is junk. (which has been my only saving grace not to gain) Yet I know if I followed my plan better and exercised like I should I would be much further ahead than I am. I think yesterday I recognized one thing that might be holding me back, mentally speaking. I dawned on me I cannot imagine, at all, myself thin. My current weight of 250lbs is the lowest I have been in probably 13+ years. I cannot really remember what it felt like to be in "onederland". I still feel like a fat chick because, quite honestly, I am. I get compliments and kudos for the weight I have lost. And while I don't sneeze at the fact I HAVE lost 66lbs, I have a lot of fear I won't ever get lower. ( Which may be another reason for my self sabotage) I need a LOT of reflection and determination to get the train back on track. I am not giving up, I refuse to do that. I just need to dig deep and figure out why I am allowing food to ruin a good chance at health. I need to get back the drive and fire I had when I was going into this. I need to remember how bad I really wanted this and take it home... I never want to give up, and I hope you don't either.

You couldn't have said it better. The fact that I'm not losing is making me fall into bad habits again and just losing hope in myself. I've been overweight ever since I was a child so yes the compliments on the weight loss is nice, however, I'm not nearly where I want or need to be. Wearing a size 6/8 has never been in the picture for me and even with the weight I've loss this far, I can't see me getting any smaller, especially after this stall. It's extremely frustrating. I don't know wht to do. Standing weight right now is betwwn 238 and 240

[Roo101769 742]

Ok..I may have found something that will reignite my passion for the sleeve and working it to the fullest. Last night I was watching "My 600 lbs Life". In the first episode the lady was over 600 lbs and she wanted to lose weight more than anything. It was hard, but she did it. She had the sleeve and, after a year, weighed 248lbs!! It was amazing because she kept fighting. It wasn't easy for her, but it was possible. Then the second episode I watched made me MAD as h-e-double hockey sticks! I couldn't believe I felt so strongly, but I did. A Maryland woman who was in her 40s, married, and mother of a young son weighed 530lbs when the show began. She was bed ridden and her husband could not work, so they had to live off her disability benefits. ( I am sorry but that sort of bothers me too..but that is another topic entirely.) Anyway they begged and borrowed from family and friends and got money to travel to Texas for her to get WLS. First they admitted her for a month to do a medically supervised diet to ensure she could lose weight. She did. After a month she was down 40 lbs and was ready to have the surgery. ( sleeve) After surgery she did NOTHING!! She refused to even try to get up and walk. She complained non stop yet did nothing to help herself. She had her husband sneak things into her at the hospital. ( he was slightly overweight and a total enabler) They kept her in patient for 4 months because of her non compliance and during that time she lost NOTHING!!! They finally released her because she wasn't progressing there, and she went home. ( to an apartment they had rented in TX) Over the next three months she failed to go to any post op appointments. You watched as she started eating and eating, everything we are NOT supposed to eat! She claimed she was never told about any special diet or anything before surgery. So the doctor sent over a nutritionist. But the lady refused to cooperate with her. They sent a therapist to try to get her up and moving for exercise, but she refused to do it and made excuse after excuse. The surgeon finally had her readmitted to check her out and she had GAINED 5 lbs! Anyway, she continued to refuse to do anything to help herself. They followed her for a year and she lived in complete denial the entire time. Ate with abandon, anything and everything. She even tried to say they must have misweighed her initially because she KNEW she had lost weight, the scales were wrong. It was sad and pitiful and made me MAD!!! She was given such a powerful tool and she wasted it. She is the embodiment of the stereotype people think of who are negative for WLS. I would hope it would serve to show you HAVE to work on weight loss after surgery too, it isn't a quick fix. But I thought it would just make people feel the opposite, she was fat and lazy and made excuses. I think it made me realize I want to fight harder and not be like that. I don't want to fail and then lie and make up ridiculous reasons as to why I failed. I want to succeed. I want to be the example of a WLS victor. To tell everyone it IS still hard work that gets you there, that the sleeve is just a tool in the fight. IDK...it just seemed to put a little fire back into me.

[chefcoll 53]

You can do it Roo!!!

[Terri Lynn1383837796 139]

Roo...I watch this show as well. I wanted to go kick her butt!! I felt so sorry for her son...he was pitiful. I'm with you...it made me mad, sick and ready to hit the ground running this morning myself.