Wistful

[Nona913 0]

:help: Hi all,

I've been reading the postings on this website for a few months now. I've really been on the fence about the lapband. Today, I weigh 268. I've been fat ALL of my life. so why am I hesitant??? This is what I've identified so far:

1) Fear of the process: This is what I found on another website--"The band is connected by tubing to a reservoir, which is placed well under the skin during surgery." What does that mean???? I'm going to the seminar on Tuesday. I'm sure that the seminar will clear up a lot of misconceptions that I have.

2) Fear of success: How do I live slim...or at least slimmer? No food crutches?! food has certainly been a friend/lover/soother/source of entertainment all my life. How do I make the adjustment?? On the occassions that I have lost a noticable amount of weight, I became self-conscious and sabatoged myself. I didn't know how to deal with the attention and the expectations of going all the way and losing down to my goal. I went back to food. It was easier.

3) What do I say to people? Do I really want their support or do I keep this to myself, perhaps just telling a core group of family members and friends?

4) Cost: I really doubt that my insurance will pay for this, so this will be out of pocket. I don't really care about the cost though. I would sacrifice and pay for it. Just need to be emotionally prepared.

Any suggestions? Did anyone seek personal counseling first?

Thanks!

[Kat817 19]

1) Fear of the process: This is what I found on another website--"The band is connected by tubing to a reservoir, which is placed well under the skin during surgery." What does that mean???? I'm going to the seminar on Tuesday. I'm sure that the seminar will clear up a lot of misconceptions that I have.

The reservoir is known as a port. It is stitched into a muscle---and it is what is pentrated with the needle when saline is added to the band to increase restriction. Some people can feel their port from the outside, especially after losing significant weight. I can not feel mine, I never have been able to.

2) Fear of success: How do I live slim...or at least slimmer? No food crutches?! food has certainly been a friend/lover/soother/source of entertainment all my life. How do I make the adjustment?? On the occassions that I have lost a noticable amount of weight, I became self-conscious and sabatoged myself. I didn't know how to deal with the attention and the expectations of going all the way and losing down to my goal. I went back to food. It was easier.

This comment/question leads me to believe that Yes, you may want to seek someone to talk to about the concerns you have prior to the surgery. I say that because with the band you CAN eat around it. If you have sabotaged yourself before it IS something that could be done with the band---so it is an issue to take care of before hand.

3) What do I say to people? Do I really want their support or do I keep this to myself, perhaps just telling a core group of family members and friends?

This too is a very personal decision, and on this board you will find both schools of thought. There are even some who don't tell their spouse til it is a done deal!!! In my case, I told everyone. I am not good at lying---and trying to remember who knows, and who doesn't, and all was just too much. So I tell anyone who will listen. I also feel if it helps one person regain some hope, then it is worth me telling. Being obese left me feeling hopeless...this surgery when I heard of it was like a light at the end of a tunnel.

4) Cost: I really doubt that my insurance will pay for this, so this will be out of pocket. I don't really care about the cost though. I would sacrifice and pay for it. Just need to be emotionally prepared.

My insurance was difficult, and in the end I self paid. I went to Mexico. I researched the surgery, and my Dr. well before making that decision. If a foreign country is not something you are comfortable with, there are now some Dr.s in the US doing them for comparable prices, and getting very good comments here on the boards.

I understand the fears---it is a big step. But in my opinion, it was one of the very best things I ever did for myself. I love my band! I neveer thought I could survive eating small amounts of food---I LIKED to eat. I enjoyed everything about it, the smell, the texture, the taste---it was pleasurable! But when I went for my 2nd fill, it took me to a good level of restriction, I am only able to eat small amounts of food, but I am never hungry. So a few bites takes care of the need for taste. I have discovered after the first couple of bites, the food just kind of becomes boring. I am able to eat most anything, I just eat so much less of it! But I eat with my family, I eat out with friends, and it has not been an issue.

I am also exercising now! Something I NEVER did! I even enjoy it! I began after about the first 40 pounds or so---and it makes me feel so good. I am proud of myself for doing healthy things for my body. I have lost weight, and inches, and gained confidence, and self esteem.

I believe it is a good option for WLS, but in your case, knowing you tend to sabotage yourself, I think you are very wise considering counseling prior to doing that to yourself. Knowing it is something you may do---and admitting it---seems like a good part of the battle is won already, you recognized the problem!

Keep us posted with what you decide to do!

Welcome to LBT---there are some very helpful, very educated people here that are so willing to help you along the way. This support group has made having my band just that much better!!!

Stick around, tell us about yourself, study up, and make an educated choice!!!

Kat

[Lap_dancer 8]

Greetings and welcome!

The first thing I would tell you is my own personal soapbox issue. Hope you are not offended by the word FAT but that is what I call myself. In my opinion fat people are one of the most taken- advantage- of segment of the population. Everyone has a remedy, pill, machine, DVD that will magically melt away the pounds. I cannot count how much money I have spent on hope for success at losing the weight. I only lost and gained which brought me to where I am at.

I encourage you to do what you believe is right for you. Do exactly what you are doing, ask questions. Don't buy into what worked for one person or everyone but a few on this site. You read, learn, ask questions and then don't feel guilty if you decide it just isn't for you. Embrace yourself and trust what you believe to be the right direction. If you glean ONE item on this site that leads you to something that eventually you lose the weight with, it's worth it.

now for your questions:

1) Fear of the process: This is what I found on another website--"The band is connected by tubing to a reservoir, which is placed well under the skin during surgery." What does that mean???? I'm going to the seminar on Tuesday. I'm sure that the seminar will clear up a lot of misconceptions that I have.

You will see pictures at the seminar. Best way I can describe it is ..well, it looks like a used condom to me, rolled up. Hey, that's the best visual I can give to it. When they place the device into your stomach they create a small pouch which is still your stomach but it is much smaller and you will hopefully feel full faster. The procedure is done Laparoscopically (Lap) which means no big surgical scar but five or six small itty bitty entry points for the scope to view the inside of your tummy.

2) Fear of success: How do I live slim...or at least slimmer? No food crutches?! food has certainly been a friend/lover/soother/source of entertainment all my life. How do I make the adjustment?? On the occassions that I have lost a noticable amount of weight, I became self-conscious and sabatoged myself. I didn't know how to deal with the attention and the expectations of going all the way and losing down to my goal. I went back to food. It was easier.

I have seen a therapist for my eating problems. I eat for comfort, I eat because I don't feel FULL. Emotional eating is something most of us have dealt with. I do recommend counseling because the mindset of your old eating style and life needs to adjust with your banding.

3) What do I say to people? Do I really want their support or do I keep this to myself, perhaps just telling a core group of family members and friends?

You say nothing. If you don't feel you need to, don't. My therapist told me to say "I decided to make healthier choices in my life and go in a new direction."

4) Cost: I really doubt that my insurance will pay for this, so this will be out of pocket. I don't really care about the cost though. I would sacrifice and pay for it. Just need to be emotionally prepared.

So assume they won't pay for it, and then go for it. what's the worst thing that can happen? They say NO? NO No no no no no no no...I've heard that word all my life. How about, "can you climb that hill with us, there is a beautiful view up there?" (No) "Mom will you go to the mall with me" (No, I can't walk long enough) "Baby do you feel sexy> (No..hell, no) So I picked Yes to the band.

Any suggestions? Did anyone seek personal counseling first?

Hope this helps. PM me if you like.

[Nona913 0]

Kat817 & Lap Dancer!

Thanks so much for your responses! I really didn't think anyone would answer so quickly. Thanks for reaching out to me. You have both given me insight and I really appreciate it. This forum is great!