Pre-Op fear

[***Giselle*** 1]

Hello Everyone! Im 31 yrs old, 5'2 and weigh 370lbs. I am currently pursuing the gastric sleeve and have a surgery date of 4/26/2014. Needless to say I am SCARED out of my mind. I Know that surgery is going to help me, however im at a point where mental im messing with myself. Al sorts of things come to mind such as, Am I too big for general anesthesia? Will I stop breathing during surgery being that I have sleep apnea? Will I regret my decision? Then I start thinking that I can lose the weight on my own. However history tells I can not do it on my own, Im afraid that I will talk myself out of having surgery and remain a prisoner in my own body. Has anyone had these issues? Where your mind start second guessing your wLs decision? Please let me know, Id love some feedback.Thanks in advance!

[chrissybrn 4]

I understand your fears I am planning on the gastric sleeve next month myself. As a recovery nurse I see patients of all sizes go through anesthesia. There can be complications for anyone no matter your weight. You have to remember what risk you face being over weight and not having the surgery and see that your risk are so much higher not having the surgery. In surgery you are monitored by a CRNA or anesthesiologist 100% of the time. They stay right with you and watch the monitors and vitals adjusting meds as need be. Having sleep apnea you should bring your machine and you might take a little longer coming off oxygen but that's no big deal. I send people up to the floor on oxygen daily and they are off by the next day. Bottom line it's scary. I totally agree but the end result is worth it. Hang in there and best of luck to you!

[ByeByefatgirl. 82]

Hello Giselle,

I was suppose to have this surgery last year in february. I kinda chickened out, well I did. My health didn't get any better, in fact i gained about 15 more pounds. So I decided to go ahead with the surgery again this year. I was in a good place with my decision then my daughter calls me and says " I had a dream that you had the surgery and died so whatever you are planning don't do it." Scared the s**t outta me. I look at it this way. If I don't do something I'm gonna die anyway. So I'm continuing on with my journey. I let her know that God has my back and if I go (die) it was his will.

Hello Everyone! Im 31 yrs old, 5'2 and weigh 370lbs. I am currently pursuing the gastric sleeve and have a surgery date of 4/26/2014. Needless to say I am SCARED out of my mind. I Know that surgery is going to help me, however im at a point where mental im messing with myself. Al sorts of things come to mind such as, Am I too big for general anesthesia? Will I stop breathing during surgery being that I have sleep apnea? Will I regret my decision? Then I start thinking that I can lose the weight on my own. However history tells I can not do it on my own, Im afraid that I will talk myself out of having surgery and remain a prisoner in my own body. Has anyone had these issues? Where your mind start second guessing your wLs decision? Please let me know, Id love some feedback.Thanks in advance!

Edited January 17, 2014 by ByeByefatgirl.

[McButterpants 2,846]

I made my decision to have the sleeve on 08/21/13 - I must have waffled 20 times between then and my surgery date of 11/14/13.

I, too, went through the "What am I doing to myself?" "Have I tried hard enough to lose on my own?" "This is so drastic." All those thoughts. I even went as far as to sit down with a piece of paper and write down the pro's and con's.

I think it's normal to waffle back and forth - this is a big decision, correct that, HUGE decision. It is truly a life-changer.

I even had 2nd thoughts in admitting the morning of surgery. I thought to myself, "I can walk out of here and I'll only be out $500." Then I looked at my husband and thought about my mom who has been obese her entire adult life and I CHOSE to go thru with it. I was terrified. My husband was terrified. But, we were armed with the statistics about complications, including death; we knew the odds were in my favor. I carefully chose my doctor with whom I had great confidence.

I had some buyer's remorse the next day or so while recovering, but since then, not a 2nd thought. Other than marrying my husband and having my son, this was the best decision of my life. I've had great days since surgery and I have had crappy days - the good days outnumber the bad.

I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. You will know what the right thing for you is.

[magtart 603]

Just keep thinking you are doing it to save you life.

[shamps4all 28]

Hello Everyone! Im 31 yrs old, 5'2 and weigh 370lbs. I am currently pursuing the gastric sleeve and have a surgery date of 4/26/2014. Needless to say I am SCARED out of my mind. I Know that surgery is going to help me, however im at a point where mental im messing with myself. Al sorts of things come to mind such as, Am I too big for general anesthesia? Will I stop breathing during surgery being that I have sleep apnea? Will I regret my decision? Then I start thinking that I can lose the weight on my own. However history tells I can not do it on my own, Im afraid that I will talk myself out of having surgery and remain a prisoner in my own body. Has anyone had these issues? Where your mind start second guessing your wLs decision? Please let me know, Id love some feedback.Thanks in advance!

Giselle - I think what you're experiencing is completely normal. I'd be willing to bet that everyone who has been sleeved felt the same way in varying degrees at some point in their journey. Look at this as a positive...your mind is forcing you to explore both sides rather than allowing you to be blindfolded and lead to the slaughter (bad analogy I know) based on benefits alone. My husband actually got laid off a few days before my surgery date. He came to me and said he felt it was a sign that something was going to go wrong with my surgery (thanks Honey). Talk about freaked out. I started worrying too, until I found out that his company laid off hundreds of people the same day! The worst part was that my daughter heard him say it to me, so she was scared too (I'm still miffed about that - I wish she didn't have to hear his comment!) Suffice it to say that even post op I had a fleeting worry, wondering if I had made a mistake...but today I know for sure it was the right thing. I feel great even with six sets of staples and a bloated abdomen. Obviously this is something only you can decide, but I think McButterpants' suggestion of a pro's & con's list was a great one. If you we're involved in an accident and needed surgery to save your life you wouldn't worry about going under anesthesia...right? You would just do it because you would have to in order to live. These medical practitioners do this all the time with a high rate of success. Of course there are exceptions, but you could argue all day that there are exceptions to just about everything in life. Have you journaled what your goals for the surgery are? I went back and reviewed mine several times and it was a good reminder.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Giselle, lots of great answers and advice for you.

Just one more thought - what do you want to achieve from this surgery? Looking beyond all your genuine fears and concerns pre surgery, where do you want to be in future? Is there any other way to get there?

When I made my decision, I was scared of all the possibilities for things going wrong. But I was more scared of dying before my time. Having tried every diet, exercise etc known to man, I saw this as my last hope - literally. And that outweighed all my surgery fears.

So I just kept breathing and got through. Had all the usual WTF moments post op that McButterpants mentioned but do I regret the surgery, even though it isn't the easy option ? Nope, not one jot. I now have a life and I am living it. At 31, you deserve the same.

Good luck, keep talking, we'll keep listening... x

[***Giselle*** 1]

Thank you all for you responses and great advice, You guys are all awesome.I definitely took a little bit from everyone and have some new found perspective,so thank you. Im anxious, scared and ready for change all at the same time. I am hoping to gain a chance at having a full life out of this wls. Meaning ,I want to actually start living my life and not constantly fee like Im on the bench because of my weight. Also im a new mom, I want to live long enough see my child grow up. This decision is a life saving one for me. Thank you guys.

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Please let me know, Id love some feedback.Thanks in advance!

1. Am I too big for general anesthesia?

Not at all. I'm not a doctor, but I have had family members much larger than you that have had surgeries for much more serious operations (ie: open heart surgery, knee replacement, kidney transplant, etc) and they survived. Plus, the whole point of all the pre-screening stuff is to determine any risk factors. Also, the whole time you're under there is an entire team monitoring your vitals. If anything even looks fishy, they would wake you up.

2. Will I stop breathing during surgery being that I have sleep apnea?

Highly unlikely. I have mild obstructive sleep apnea and my best friend (she has the lapband) has severe obstuctive sleep apnea and neither of us woke up.

Remember, the anesthesiologist knows what they're doing. I've been put under twice -- the first time for my endoscopy (that time I remember dreaming I was home eating with my husband, then suddenly I woke up and it was over). The second time was during my procedure. All I remember was the nurse asking me if I was cold and not to be afraid. The next thing I knew, I was in recovery.

3. Will I regret my decision?

I doubt it. I've been struggling with my weight since I was 12. I'm turning 30 this year. I've done Weight Watchers, Medifast, Phentermine, Atkins, Sugarbusters, Lemonade Diet, starved myself, avoided Pasta and bread, worked out 3 hours a day 7 days a week, Dexatrim to name a few, Slim Fast to name a few and I've never been able to keep off the weight more than 1 - 6 months. I also felt hungry/depressed/scared to eat the entire time for fear of gaining back. And often times, I would end up gaining back more than I started out with. I came to the conclusion that if I could "do it on my own" then I would've figured it out by now.

4. Has anyone had these issues?

I've been concerned about EVERYTHING you wrote and more including "what if I die on the operating table?" "What if I'm the one person the surgery doesn't work for, so I did all this for nothing?" "What if I start losing weight and my husband resents me and we end up getting divorced?" "What if my friends resent me for no longer being 'the fat one' and they abandon me?"

HOWEVER the deciding factor for me was what would happen if I did nothing and continued yo-yo dieting and binge eating. All the things I mentioned above "could" happen. But if I stayed the same, then I knew that my blood pressure would continue to go up until I was on meds like Dad and Grandma, I'd develop diabetes, need a knee replacement eventually, lose mobility, shorten my life span, continue to have irregular periods which would mess with my fertility, not be able to be a "fun" parent like my Mom and Dad because I can't move around well, end up on a C-Pap machine, etc. To me the "coulds" were far less scary than the "woulds". (for the record all the "coulds" that I was afraid of never happened. My husband is proud of me and my weight loss and lifestyle changes are motivating him to do the same. My friends and family still love me. I didn't die on the operating table obviously, nor did I wake up. The surgery IS working. I was 241lbs when I attended my first open house at my surgeon's office and 226lbs on my day of surgery. I'm currently 211lbs (need to update my ticker) which means I've lost 30lbs altogether).

Edited January 20, 2014 by Comfy_Blue