Need some advice while making this decision

[Wires 25]

I'm 85% sure I want to do this surgery but probably shouldn't do it until I'm at 100%

I met with the surgeon, have appts for the nutritionist and psychologist (already have a sleep study from before) so just need to have GI and cardio scheduled.

When the office called to see if I could make an early opening for the endoscopy, I turned it down (mostly because I don't have childcare for that day) but also because I'm not 100% sure yet...

So what if I schedule everything and still feeling like I need to think about it? I feel the surgeon's office (esp the office staff) is going to get really annoyed that I am 'wasting' their time or something.

My husband said no one is going to make me do it because I feel forced, they should be more receptive that I need to go at my own pace.

What do others think about this?

Also, I have a list of questions to ask:

--Anyone else worried about long term risk, since it's still fairly new? Like I wonder if in 40yrs from now (I'm early 30's) I have some other issue and this will affect it?

--We have 2 kids and MAY want another in the future, I know waiting 2yrs is best but will I harm myself or baby in anyway by doing this now

--I know my diet will be mostly Protein and veggies and rarely room for carbs...does that mean no more carbs or fried food ever? Or ethnic food? (I'm asian so some food from my culture but I could focus on Protein stuff first...for example, can I have curry?)

--I know no soda or carbonated drinks anymore...was this hard to give up?

--Is the first week of just liquids extremely difficult? Thinking about it and it seems pretty hard to do only liquids for a whole week

--I'm a NYer...no more Bagels ever?

--I love ice Water and not drinking near meals sounds tricky...does it get easier?

--How do you explain to others what you did? Did anyone make you feel badly?

--What do you do when you're on vacation or near the holidays etc, just try your best to stick to plan?

Thanks for any help

[joatsaint 2,814]

--Anyone else worried about long term risk, since it's still fairly new? Like I wonder if in 40yrs from now (I'm early 30's) I have some other issue and this will affect it?

This surgery has been around for a long time, it was part of the surgery process for gastric bypass on the morbidly obese. It was the 1st step to help them lose weight and get small enough to have the full bypass operation. My doc said that so many patients were successful at losing weight with this 1st phase that they didn't come back for bypass. So it has become it's own spin-off of WLS. It's only in the past few years that insurance has started recognizing VSG as a proven weight loss tool. My doc has been doing VSG for over 10 years and it's the only WLS he recommends.

I don't have the experience to relate to all your questions, but I will share what I've gone through.

--I know my diet will be mostly Protein and veggies and rarely room for carbs...does that mean no more carbs or fried food ever? Or ethnic food? (I'm asian so some food from my culture but I could focus on Protein stuff first...for example, can I have curry?)

I just hit month 13:

At the 6 month mark, I was able to eat anything I wanted. Sugar, fried foods, candy, chips, cake, bread, Pasta. Prior to that, my stomach wasn't big enough to allow me to eat things that weren't nutrient dense - so I had to get the most nutrition for every bite of food. I could hold about 1/2 cup per meal. Surprisingly, it was the high carb processed foods that were the easiest to digest. I severely limited myself on those.

After 6 months, my stomach seemed to "relax" a bit and I could hold more - about 1 cup of food per meal. So I allowed myself the occasional treat or fried chicken strip (just 1 though), usually on Sat night when I go out to eat.

So you most likely will be able to eat anything you want eventually, but you may not want to - my tastes changed post-op and I don't like some of my old foods. I had to give away a case of chicken noodle Soup post-op - I can't stand it now. So don't stock up on any one thing pre-surgery in prep for your post-surgery life.

--I know no soda or carbonated drinks anymore...was this hard to give up?

I switched to Crystal Light years ago, so I didn't really have to give up sodas. But carbonated stuff isn't off limits forever. I wouldn't drink any for the 1st 6 months, but after that I did have the occasional sip of Sprite and I drink Mike's Hard Lemonade (it's carbonated) with no ill effects - just drink slowly.

--Is the first week of just liquids extremely difficult? Thinking about it and it seems pretty hard to do only liquids for a whole week.

It was very tough for me. I cheated and had some meat occasionally. But no carbs of any kind outside of what was in the shakes.

--I'm a NYer...no more Bagels ever?

I can eat bagels and breads, but Frankensleeve tends to grumble (even after a year) if I eat flat breads or whole wheat bread.

--I love ice Water and not drinking near meals sounds tricky...does it get easier?

It does get easier and becomes a habit pretty quick. I had to retrain myself to take the smallest sip (just enough to wet my tongue) if I needed to drink during a meal.

--How do you explain to others what you did? Did anyone make you feel badly?

I never told anyone I didn't have to tell. They were all very supportive. No one ever asked me why I couldn't lose the weight on my own. If I do get that question, my answer will be - I'm a food addict and I needed the extra help that WLS gave me to lose the weight and get healthier.

--What do you do when you're on vacation or near the holidays etc, just try your best to stick to plan?

It was surprisingly easy to stay with my diet during the holidays. After all, Frankensleeve is still pretty small. So it limits how much I can eat of anything. I always eat my healthy stuff first and let myself have a bite or two of dessert - if there's room. I carefully monitor my weight and if it starts creeping up, I know to back off the junk. It is surprisingly easy to do.

Whatever it was that caused me to eat and obsess over food pre-op is gone. My relationship with food is completely different. It might be the reduction of ghrelin (the hunger hormone) or it might be that I was forced to go cold-turkey from sugar and processed foods for 6 months. You just don't know how much differently you'll relate to food once you're on the other side.

Edited January 17, 2014 by joatsaint

[DonRodolfo 1,416]

I'm 85% sure I want to do this surgery but probably shouldn't do it until I'm at 100%

I met with the surgeon, have appts for the nutritionist and psychologist (already have a sleep study from before) so just need to have GI and cardio scheduled.

When the office called to see if I could make an early opening for the endoscopy, I turned it down (mostly because I don't have childcare for that day) but also because I'm not 100% sure yet...

So what if I schedule everything and still feeling like I need to think about it? I feel the surgeon's office (esp the office staff) is going to get really annoyed that I am 'wasting' their time or something.

My husband said no one is going to make me do it because I feel forced, they should be more receptive that I need to go at my own pace.

What do others think about this?

Also, I have a list of questions to ask:

--Anyone else worried about long term risk, since it's still fairly new? Like I wonder if in 40yrs from now (I'm early 30's) I have some other issue and this will affect it?

--We have 2 kids and MAY want another in the future, I know waiting 2yrs is best but will I harm myself or baby in anyway by doing this now

--I know my diet will be mostly Protein and veggies and rarely room for carbs...does that mean no more carbs or fried food ever? Or ethnic food? (I'm asian so some food from my culture but I could focus on Protein stuff first...for example, can I have curry?)

--I know no soda or carbonated drinks anymore...was this hard to give up?

--Is the first week of just liquids extremely difficult? Thinking about it and it seems pretty hard to do only liquids for a whole week

--I'm a NYer...no more Bagels ever?

--I love ice Water and not drinking near meals sounds tricky...does it get easier?

--How do you explain to others what you did? Did anyone make you feel badly?

--What do you do when you're on vacation or near the holidays etc, just try your best to stick to plan?

Thanks for any help

I'd say you're having the same feelings most of us did.

Anyone else worried about long term risk, since it's still fairly new? Like I wonder if in 40yrs from now (I'm early 30's) I have some other issue and this will affect it?

Considering I probably wouldn't have been alive 40 years from now without surgery, no worries.

I know my diet will be mostly protein and veggies and rarely room for carbs...does that mean no more carbs or fried food ever? Or ethnic food? (I'm asian so some food from my culture but I could focus on protein stuff first...for example, can I have curry?)

Early on, probably no carbs or fried food. Your tummy will have limited space so you'll want to "invest" in protein first. I love ethnic food and haven't denied myself anything, but, I compensate for overindulgences at the gym. You'll want to go easy on anything spicy or bold the first time you have it after surgery.

I know no soda or carbonated drinks anymore...was this hard to give up?

I had been a diet coke fiend for many years but had cut down considerably way before surgery anyway. Eliminating them wasn't a big deal for me and I switched to iced tea. I've had a few diet cokes after surgery and the unpleasantness of the carbonation isn't worth it anymore. It's been months since I had one and won't again.

Is the first week of just liquids extremely difficult? Thinking about it and it seems pretty hard to do only liquids for a whole week

Not difficult at all THANKS TO being on a two-week liquid-only preop diet beforehand. The first four days of that diet were awful but I was good to go after that and it really helped me through the two weeks after surgery.

I'm a NYer...no more bagels ever?

Good luck trying to eat a bagel! Seriously tho, prior to 6 months out it was a challenge to eat a quarter of one (with cream cheese). I *might* be able to eat half of one now.

--I love ice Water and not drinking near meals sounds tricky...does it get easier?

Yes! But start practicing that NOW so that you're over the habit by the time you can eat foods again after surgery.

How do you explain to others what you did? Did anyone make you feel badly?

I might be the exception, but EVERYONE that has said something has been supportive. Some people won't say anything about your weight loss and that's okay. I've not once had someone tell me I took the easy way out.

What do you do when you're on vacation or near the holidays etc, just try your best to stick to plan?

ALWAYS log your food in MFP or something similar, even on vacation. Not every food will be listed in MFP, either add it manually or guess at it. Even guessing is better than logging nothing.

Edited January 17, 2014 by DonRodolfo

[ad1203 85]

Wires, I am going through the EXACT same thing you are right now. At first I felt so sure this is what I wanted and needed, and as I am going through the six month wait and testing, I seem to feel more and more unsure of it. Joatsaint, you answered a lot of our questionable fears. Thank you for that. It made me breathe a little easier.

[Wires 25]

Thank you for the replies...I truly appreciate them! I just want to be informed as possible before making such a huge decision.

ad1203, feel free to message me if you want to talk, sounds like we are in similar stages!

[McButterpants 2,846]

I've answered some of your questions below....

--Anyone else worried about long term risk, since it's still fairly new? Like I wonder if in 40yrs from now (I'm early 30's) I have some other issue and this will affect it?

I was not as concerned about the long term risk of this surgery as I was the long-term risk of me slowly committing suicide by knife and fork. For me the benefits of the surgery outweighed the risks - short term and long term.

--I know my diet will be mostly Protein and veggies and rarely room for carbs...does that mean no more carbs or fried food ever? Or ethnic food? (I'm asian so some food from my culture but I could focus on Protein stuff first...for example, can I have curry?)

For me, it's about moderation. I will probably be able to handle fried foods eventually - will I eat a lot of it? No, because that helped me get to 256 pounds. I have not eaten anything that has upset my stomach yet - I seem to have a sleeve of steel. I don't want fried foods like I did before, sot it's not an issue right now.

--I know no soda or carbonated drinks anymore...was this hard to give up?

I wasn't much of a soda drinker, but was a big coffee drinker. Trying to quit caffeine was hard - I had to try twice, the 2nd time weening myself off over the course of 2 weeks. If you're going to do it, start soon and ween yourself off if you're a caffeine drinker.

--Is the first week of just liquids extremely difficult? Thinking about it and it seems pretty hard to do only liquids for a whole week

The beginning of the pre-op diet for me was the hardest - the first 5 days. After that, it becomes the new normal. Post-op,it didn't bother, I was just trying to get by while still attempting to get in the Water and protein. It's uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

--I'm a NYer...no more Bagels ever?

I love my bagels and miss them - I won't ever be able to sit down to a huge bagel with cream cheese again. I am living proof, though, that life goes on.

--I love ice Water and not drinking near meals sounds tricky...does it get easier?

Practice prior to surgery helped me - as soon as I decided to have the surgery, I started eating meals without drinking/sipping. You get used to it.

--How do you explain to others what you did? Did anyone make you feel badly?

I told 5 people, so I don't have to explain anything to anybody. The 5 people I told were very supportive - my husband, son, parents and best friend.

--What do you do when you're on vacation or near the holidays etc, just try your best to stick to plan?

Again, moderation is the key - I was about 6 weeks post-op at Christmas. I tried a couple of things - Cookies, homemade caramels, bread. I wasn't excited about any of it. Food just isn't that important to me any more. I'm heading to San Francisco for a 10 day vacation - I'm going to enjoy some of their local foods, but in moderation. The good thing about the sleeve is I can share my husband's meal - it's cheaper!

A lot of your questions are lifestyle in nature. One thing that surprises me about this is how little affect food has on my life now. Like your bagel question - I used to love going to the bagel shop on a Sunday morning. I haven't been in over 2 months and until I read your post, I had not thought of bagels. Last night for dinner I had one chicken strip (2 ounces) and 4 tater tots (yes, I ate carbs - and I logged every last one). I was full and completely satisfied. The other night my husband wanted to know where I wanted to go to dinner and I said, "I honestly do not care. You decide." I really didn't care. My life USED to revolve around food and my eating - it no longer does. I have become one of those people that forgets to eat!

Only you can decide if this surgery is right for you. Do your research. Talk to your family. Do some soul searching. I made the decision because I wasn't participating in my own life and the people around me expected so little of me that bar of expectation was lowered to the point where I wasn't expected to shower or get dressed every day. I didn't want to live like that any more. I also suggest going to a local support group so you can network live with pre-oppers and post-oppers.

Best of luck to you!

[Dee_1111 317]

It is quite daunting and overwheling in the beginning. Its alot to ask from a morbidly obese person. Before surgery we ate at will. We had no eating or drinking rules, unless we made them ourselves, which caused YO-YO dieting. Yep, I had YO-Yo rules, and WLS has lifetime rules, which is what were really after anyway, arent we? to find self control and disapline? In time with the knowledge your gaining. You will find your nitch, what works for you. Pick a few,try them on, and pick what works for you. The guidlines aren't so strick, the further your journey takes you.

So now we are learning a NEW way, and its unerving, and seems impossible. When Im at a resturant now, I see Im eating and drinking (water) like all the skinny people around me...lol..silly observance, but its true, makes me smile.